Battle for the bed beneath the boss’s desk

Two hands for two dogs. Balance in the universe. Right?

Wrong.

“Who has more surface area contact with dad? Who is he looking at? Why did he say good boy? He should be saying good girl!”

The feud for affection is endless. A constant struggle in the pursuit of cuddles.

As the eldest, Tito has certain inherited privileges. He gets the first scoop of chow at mealtime; he gets his leash attached first before a walk; the first treat always gets thrown in his direction.

This keeps Penny hungry, working the angles and conniving her way to a score. She can’t win everywhere, but she capitalizes where she can.

Take the case of the Battle for the Bed Beneath the Desk. A work-from-home job means considerable desk time. If the dogs join forces, they can both achieve foot contact atop the coveted memory foam bed stationed underneath. But that’s a big “if.”

Tactical positioning by the first arrival is routine: plop dead center. This minimizes the entry paths to the vacant space near the wall and prevents a side-by-side arrangement.

Brute force by the outsider can be effective at forcing a repositioning. If that doesn’t work, strategy comes into play.

A tried-and-true approach by Penny is to look out the window and begin to growl. The proposition of a perimeter breach is too juicy to pass up for Tito, causing a dash to the window on high alert.

That’s when Penny strikes. She moves in on the bed under the desk and claims her throne.

Tito can’t let that slide. But Penny has grown resistant to his usual tactics.

Tito grabs a rope from the toy basket and flails it wildly. “Grrrr.” he mutters.

Ears perk up. “I’m not falling for this again,” Penny glares.

More growling and flailing provokes a lift of the head, and nothing more.

Parried. Tito drops the rope. Time for Plan B: aquatic assault.

Some gulping at the water bowl loads up the slobber cannon and then it’s straight to Penny’s ears.

“Gross,” she recoils. “I’m out of here.”

Tito is Duke of the Desk once more. Poor Penny is relegated to the larger, more comfortable bed directly next to the desk.

For now.

Riley Klein is managing edtior of The Lakeville Journal.

Tito holds his ground on a dead-center plop.Riley Klein