The beauty of living a lived-in life

MILLERTON — Life isn’t meant to be pristine. Certainly that’s a statement local bestselling author and photographer Mary Randolph Carter, affectionately known as Carter to her friends, would endorse.

She has a new book professing exactly that sentiment called “A Perfectly Kept House Is a Sign of a Misspent Life.� Following on the heels of her last book, “For the Love of Old,� published in 2006, much of which focused on treasures from her Millerton farmhouse and years of collecting items to love and linger over, Carter has earned a reputation as a “junk maven.� It’s a title she wears with pride.

“There are choices we make in life,� she said. “Like the choice of doing the dishes or dusting the floor or going out with a friend and seeing a film or reading a book — I would err on the side of living. You could always do the dishes later. Obviously there are times when company is coming, and those are great instigators to getting organized, but the book is about making a house welcome for families and friends.�

The book’s cover offers a glimpse at what the reader will learn from inside the pages: “How to live creatively with collections, clutter, work, kids, pets, art, etc. … and stop worrying about everything being perfectly in place.� It’s sage advice for living in today’s hectic world, especially if one wants to take advantage of making time for family and friends.

“Don’t forget to live,� Carter said, adding that she doesn’t advocate for living in a disaster zone by any means. “I feel that order can be very liberating. When you clean out a desk or a closet, that always gives you a great feeling of comfort and liberation. It’s not that I don’t believe one should seek some kind of order in life, I just don’t think that should be the first thing.�

As an example, Carter said she was doing an interview on the Martha Stewart radio show and spoke with a woman who was upset because she left the house without doing the dishes and making the bed and instead met a friend for lunch and to visit a museum. The woman said she felt “terrible� for shirking her daily household duties.

“I said, ‘Did you have a great day?’ and she said she did. So I said, ‘What’s the problem? The dishes and the bed will still be there when you get home,’� Carter said. “I think we have a puritanical streak that we have things we have to do, but I think [we can be more flexible]. My book is about choosing to live with what makes you comfortable.�

The book is organized in chapters, each with segments focusing on different lifestyles: living with work, living with children, living with memory, living with dogs, living with food, living with obsession, living with fashion, living with junk and lastly, a short chapter entitled “Clutter Free.� Each chapter showcases vivid photographs and accompanying text chronicling the history of someone living in a specific surrounding filled with the items and energy that make that environment come alive — proving Carter’s theory tenfold.

“It’s just kind of a journey about how to make a house a home,� she said.

The statement echoes in one’s mind while reading through the book. It is filled with personal stories that prove her point time and again. Carter herself is a chapter in the book.

“When I’m in my office I’m comfortable with paintings and books,� she said. “They’re my emotional fortress. But I could walk next door and my colleague has the most minimal office, and that’s the way she’s comfortable. She walks into my office and gets a headache. Both of those ways of living and working are appropriate. [My message is] just don’t set up these harsh boundaries for yourself in the way you live or for your children. I think this book is about living life and making your house a lived-in, wonderful home for your friends and family and pets, and hopefully you’ll agree.�

And the response so far has been positive, according to Carter.

“I’m finding a lot of people are connecting with it,� she said.

To speak with the author or to pick up a copy of “A Perfectly Kept House Is a Sign of a Misspent Life,� stop by Oblong Books & Music on Saturday, Nov. 27, from 2 to 4 p.m., at 26 Main St., Millerton. For more information, call 518-789-3797.