Buyer beware

The yard sale is the last stronghold of “caveat emptorâ€� in America. Even the used car seller has had the brakes put on. The yard sale has no rules. Vendor’s license? We don’t need no stinkin’ vendor’s license.

The buyers prowl the neighborhoods, hoping for that lightning strike, the hidden treasure, the incredibly valuable find for a pittance — the guy who doesn’t realize what he’s got. But beware: All is not as it seems, for subterfuge is the name of the game. Open all the drawers on that dresser to make sure they all have bottoms. You might want to bring your own light bulb so you can plug in the lamp. Where can I try out this shotgun? Oh, it’s OK, I promise I am not a convicted felon.

This is where you will find that stuff from your childhood. Chances are it is just as beat up, too. The buyer’s mantra is “Will you take $1?� Oh, wow. A complete set of Jarts. You know, those big spikes that you throw up in the air so that they come down and stick in the ground … or whatever. You might want to pick up those riding helmets, too.

u      u      u

The seller has been up all night pricing inventory. The prices are wishful thinking for the most part. Some of it will find its way to the curb with a pathetic, handwritten “Freeâ€� sign on cardboard. The rest will get put up until next year, when it can be hauled out again based on the theory that the right sucker has not been born just yet.  

The hours of prep time added to the time spent manning the booth will work out to a wage of about 50 cents an hour. We must, of course, ignore the fact that the inventory ever had a cost.

It helps to have a few big ticket items. One of the more popular is always the tables that you have your stuff set upon, and how much for that old junker in the driveway? (My car is NOT for sale.)

 If I could just learn to live far enough in the past, I could find everything I needed for my lifestyle and at bargain prices: eight-track audio tapes, VHS movies, vinyl records, tie-dyed clothing and bell bottom jeans. But alas, I live in the trough of the waves. I am not quite with the latest thing and just a little too far ahead of that earlier thing that, if I waited just a bit, would be back in fashion again.

Oh well. Time to pack up. Oh no. Here comes another wave. Deep breath.

Bill Abrams reminisces and resides in Pine Plains.

Latest News

‘Elie Wiesel: Soul on Fire’ at The Moviehouse
Filmmaker Oren Rudavsky
Provided

“I’m not a great activist,” said filmmaker Oren Rudavsky, humbly. “I do my work in my own quiet way, and I hope that it speaks to people.”

Rudavsky’s film “Elie Wiesel: Soul on Fire,” screens at The Moviehouse in Millerton on Saturday, Jan. 18, followed by a post-film conversation with Rudavsky and moderator Ileene Smith.

Keep ReadingShow less
Marietta Whittlesey on writing, psychology and reinvention

Marietta Whittlesey

Elena Spellman

When writer and therapist Marietta Whittlesey moved to Salisbury in 1979, she had already published two nonfiction books and assumed she would eventually become a fiction writer like her mother, whose screenplays and short stories were widely published in the 1940s.

“But one day, after struggling to freelance magazine articles and propose new books, it occurred to me that I might not be the next Edith Wharton who could support myself as a fiction writer, and there were a lot of things I wanted to do in life, all of which cost money.” Those things included resuming competitive horseback riding.

Keep ReadingShow less
From the tide pool to the stars:  Peter Gerakaris’ ‘Oculus Serenade’

Artist Peter Gerakaris in his studio in Cornwall.

Provided

Opening Jan. 17 at the Cornwall Library, Peter Gerakaris’ show “Oculus Serenade” takes its cue from a favorite John Steinbeck line of the artist’s: “It is advisable to look from the tide pool to the stars and then back to the tide pool again.” That oscillation between the intimate and the infinite animates Gerakaris’ vivid tondo (round) paintings, works on paper and mosaic forms, each a kind of luminous portal into the interconnectedness of life.

Gerakaris describes his compositions as “merging microscopic and macroscopic perspectives” by layering endangered botanicals, exotic birds, aquatic life and topographical forms into kaleidoscopic, reverberating worlds. Drawing on his firsthand experiences trekking through semitropical jungles, diving coral reefs and hiking along the Housatonic, Gerakaris composes images that feel both transportive and deeply rooted in observation. A musician as well as a visual artist, he describes his use of color as vibrational — each work humming with what curator Simon Watson has likened to “visual jazz.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Schlock and awful: Rothrock

Cynthia Rothrock and Steve McQueen's son saunter purposefully in "Martial Law."

Provided

A while back, the Bad Cinema desk was investigating two movies, “Martial Law” and the imaginatively-titled “Martial Law II: Undercover,” both starring a shortish, incredibly fit and rather cheerful-looking woman: Cynthia Rothrock.

Looking into it a bit more, we found that Rothrock has over 80 movie credits and has been a martial arts superstar for decades. So why isn’t she a household name?

Keep ReadingShow less