Change, change, change

I know people who have lived in the same house all their lives. I’ve heard of people who have standing dates and have for decades. “Oh, yes,†they say, “we have lunch every Tuesday,†or “Sunday night dinner is a tradition — the whole family comes.†Golf dates, bowling dates and church services all require very regular commitment.

I’m in awe, but also befuddled by others’ ability and willingness to do the same thing day in and day out, week after week, month after month. In five decades I’ve lived in at least 14 different places and held 10 different jobs (I’m sure I’m overlooking some). Clearly, I’m not rooted and I don’t have a career. But I do have experience.

Yet, I greatly admire people who can stick to schedules of their own making. I don’t mean people who get up and go to work at the same time every day. I mean those who in their free time commit to an activity or pursuit. (By the way, they benefit from doing something regularly: They get better at it.)

One of my editors swims three times a week, pretty much always. Most successful novelists speak of a routine; they produce because they commit to the same time or amount every day.

I’m reading a wonderful and inspiring book by Haruki Murakami, “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.†In the book, he explains his commitment to running. He runs nearly every day — and this is busy guy. As a novelist he’s written 12 books; as a runner he’s completed more than 23 marathons.

u      u      u

I don’t play golf or bowl, but I do lots of other activities that require practice and commitment; yoga and horseback riding are two of them. Yet I have a terrible time carving out the time to do the things I want. It’s not because I can’t make plans. I’m a big planner, actually. Love lists. I have multiple calendars. Schedules are my thing. I believe in them. I also believe in pencils. Because if I wrote everything in ink, I would need bottles of white-out to keep everything legible.

A friend of mine doesn’t have this problem. When someone asks her to do something at a time when she already has something scheduled, she says no. In the nicest possible way. That’s what I really like. She doesn’t turn herself into a pretzel trying to make everyone happy. She just says, “No. I’m busy then. When else could we do it?†What a concept.

u      u      u

At a yoga retreat last summer, which was dedicated to hard-core yogis (many of whom were instructors), I took part in a discussion about the difficulty of carving out the time to do this thing we all love so much. The easy part, it seemed, was taking a week off from regularly scheduled life and immersing oneself in yoga. The truly difficult part was trying to find some minutes in our everyday lives to do the same thing.

Is it time management? Or is it clearing the mind long enough to listen and respond? There were suggestions galore: Just do five minutes; make every action (picking up the kids’ sneakers off the dining room floor, opening the refrigerator) a yoga pose; do it first thing in the day; do it last thing in the day. Lots of ideas, no sure-fire solutions. Clearly, I am not alone.

The reality is, every time I make plans, they are likely to change multiple times before they happen. The goal is always reached, but the path to the goal morphs one way and then another, as different factors come into play. Is this a bad thing? Does it make me unreliable or too flexible?

u      u      u

Recently, I had a real wake-up moment, suggesting we can learn to change our ways. I’d made a date with a friend to walk our dogs, on a day that I knew was going to be very busy. But I figured I could squeeze it in. Even as I was committing I had misgivings, but my assumption was my friend was going for a walk either way and it would be great if I could join her, and if it didn’t work out that way in the end — no big deal; she would still take her dog for a walk.

It never occurred to me (honestly!) that my company might be a factor in her day. That if I had said I wasn’t available she might have found someone else with whom to share her time. I was just focused on the act of the walk.

When I called to cancel only an hour before the meeting time and got her voice mail, I decided to meet her, make my apologies and leave. She was understanding and forgiving, but as I blathered on, she said, “Well, just don’t do it again. OK?†Calm, quiet, sincere. And suddenly I saw the situation completely differently.

So, I have a new resolve: commit, commit, commit.

Tara Kelly, copy editor at The Lakeville Journal, is an avid follower of social trends. She may be reached by e-mail at tarak@lakevillejournal.com.

Latest News

Classifieds - February 26, 2026

Classifieds - February 26, 2026

Help Wanted

PART-TIME CARE-GIVER NEEDED: possibly LIVE-IN. Bright private STUDIO on 10 acres. Queen Bed, En-Suite Bathroom, Kitchenette & Garage. SHARON 407-620-7777.

The Salisbury Association’s Land Trust seeks part-time Land Steward: Responsibilities include monitoring easements and preserves, filing monitoring reports, documenting and reporting violations or encroachments, and recruiting and supervising volunteer monitors. The Steward will also execute preserve and trail stewardship according to Management Plans and manage contractor activity. Up to 10 hours per week, compensation commensurate with experience. Further details and requirements are available on request. To apply: Send cover letter, resume, and references to info@salisburyassociation.org. The Salisbury Association is an equal opportunity employer.

Keep ReadingShow less
To save birds, plant for caterpillars

Fireweed attracts the fabulous hummingbird sphinx moth.

Photo provided by Wild Seed Project

You must figure that, as rough as the cold weather has been for us, it’s worse for wildlife. Here, by the banks of the Housatonic, flocks of dark-eyed juncos, song sparrows, tufted titmice and black-capped chickadees have taken up residence in the boxwood — presumably because of its proximity to the breakfast bar. I no longer have a bird feeder after bears destroyed two versions and simply throw chili-flavored birdseed onto the snow twice a day. The tiny creatures from the boxwood are joined by blue jays, cardinals and a solitary flicker.

These birds will soon enough be nesting, and their babies will require a nonstop diet of caterpillars. This source of soft-bodied protein makes up more than 90 percent of native bird chicks’ diets, with each clutch consuming between 6,000 and 9,000 caterpillars before they fledge. That means we need a lot of caterpillars if we want our bird population to survive.

Keep ReadingShow less
Stephanie Haboush Plunkett and the home for American illustration

Stephanie Haboush Plunkett

L. Tomaino
"The field of illustration is very close to my heart"
— Stephanie Plunkett

For more than three decades, Stephanie Haboush Plunkett has worked to elevate illustration as a serious art form. As chief curator and Rockwell Center director at the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, she has helped bring national and international attention to an art form long dismissed as merely commercial.

Her commitment to illustration is deeply personal. Plunkett grew up watching her father, Joseph Haboush, an illustrator and graphic designer, work late into the night in his home studio creating art and hand-lettered logos for package designs, toys and licensed-character products for the Walt Disney Co. and other clients.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

Free film screening and talk on end-of-life care
‘Come See Me in the Good Light’ is nominated for best documentary at this year’s Academy Awards.
Provided

Craig Davis, co-founder and board chair of East Mountain House, an end-of-life care facility in Lakeville, will sponsor a March 5 screening of the documentary “Come See Me in the Good Light” at The Moviehouse in Millerton, followed by a discussion with attendees.

The film, which is nominated for best documentary at this year’s Academy Awards, follows the poet Andrea Gibson and their partner Megan Falley as they are suddenly and unimaginably forced to navigate a terminal illness. The free screening invites audiences to gather not just for a film but for reflection on mortality, healing, connection and the ways communities support one another through difficult life transitions.

Keep ReadingShow less

The power of one tray

The power of one tray

A tray can help group items in a way that looks and feels thoughtful and intentional.

Kerri-Lee Mayland

Winter is a season that invites us to notice our surroundings more closely and crave small, comforting changes rather than big projects.

That’s often when clients ask what they can do to make their homes feel finished or fresh again — without redecorating, renovating or shopping endlessly. My answer: start with one tray.

Keep ReadingShow less

Tangled specks: tiny flies, big ambitions

Tangled specks: tiny flies, big ambitions

Here is a sample from a recently purchased assortment of specks. From left: Black speck, Parachute Adams dry fly speck, greenish sparkly speck.

Patrick L. Sullivan

I need to get my glasses checked

My fingers fumbling like heck

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.