An author's path toward authentic 'Gender Magic'

An author's path toward authentic 'Gender Magic'
Rae McDaniel 
Photo by Andie Meadows

Rae McDaniel thinks you’re magic.

It’s the central theme throughout McDaniel’s new book, “Gender Magic,” which was featured in an online, Pride-themed discussion with Oblong Books in Millerton, N.Y.

The event was presented in partnership with Dutchess County Pride Center and featured a conversation with Ellis Light, an organizer with the Trans Closet of the Hudson Valley, N.Y., a grassroots organization dedicated to providing clothes, gender-affirming supplies and other resources to the region’s transgender community without question or cost.

Part personal narrative and part how-to guide for exploring gender in new ways, "Gender Magic" is well-sourced, deeply researched and uniquely supportive, yet it manages to avoid both the pitfalls of academic writing and the cliches that often plague self-help books. With a conversational tone, McDaniel breaks down complex ideas with ease, humor and warmth. All in all, it makes for a compelling and approachable read for transgender folks and cisgender allies alike.

That, McDaniel said, is the goal.

“My hope is that, no matter what their gender identity, readers walk away from ‘Gender Magic’ with the knowledge that the world is a better place when everyone is able to live as their most authentic, audacious, lit-up self, free from fear and shame,” McDaniel told Compass.

With more than a decade of experience as a certified sex therapist, coach and educator, McDaniel — who is nonbinary — explained that “Gender Magic” stems from an ongoing dissatisfaction with the way transgender narratives are often framed.

“I found myself frustrated at the vast majority of literature and research out there about trans folks. It mostly centered on the suffering of transgender people and how to mitigate risk,” they said.

McDaniel added that it’s important to understand the risks and difficulties of being gender-diverse; they explain throughout their book that they don’t want to “love and light” their way out of tricky conversations. But nevertheless, McDaniel found that for their patients, the traditional suffering-first narrative felt restrictive and failed to reflect everyone’s experiences with gender transition.

“I was hungry for information about what it meant for trans folks to thrive and how allies and medical and mental health professionals could support them in doing so,” they said. “I wasn’t finding it, at least not at the level I wanted, so I wrote it myself.”

McDaniel proposed the Gender Freedom Model, a path rooted in the queer joy that affirms transgender and non-binary individuals through play, pleasure and possibility. This model has proven itself as a useful tool in McDaniel’s Chicago, Ill., based clinical practice, they said, and it permeates throughout Gender Magic as a refreshingly optimistic approach to gender exploration.

In recent years, transgender rights have been the subject of debate and moral outrage, with the American Civil Liberties Union currently tracking 491 anti-LGBTQ bills in the United States. In Florida, Gov. Ron DeSantis signed into law in May new restrictions on gender-affirming treatments for minors, bathroom usage and more. Tennessee passed in March a series of bills that amount to a total ban on transgender healthcare for minors and restrictions on “male and female impersonators” at drag shows, which advocates fear could affect transgender performers of all genres, too.

Two pieces of anti-transgender legislation have been introduced in Connecticut this year, according to the ACLU, both of which focus on prohibiting transgender student-athletes from competing on teams that correspond with their gender identity.

But the turbulent landscape nationwide proves that books like Gender Magic are necessary.

“So much changed in our legal and cultural landscape since I started writing 'Gender Magic' in early 2021. I had to ask myself at some point if a book about approaching gender transition with joy, curiosity, and pleasure was even still relevant,” McDaniel said. “I came to the conclusion that it has to be. Otherwise, what are we fighting for?”

Latest News

HVRHS triple jumper places 9th in New England
Anthony Labbadia set a new HVRHS record with a 44-foot one-inch triple jump June 14. The distance earned him 9th place at the New England track and field championship, which this year was held in New Britain, Conn.
Photo by Riley Klein

NEW BRITAIN — Anthony Labbadia soared to 9th place in the triple jump at the 2025 New England track and field championships Saturday, June 14.

On his first attempt of the event he leaped 44 feet and one inch, qualifying for the finals and setting the new Housatonic Valley Regional High School record. The previous school record of 43 feet eight inches was set by Don Hurlbutt in 1967.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pirates go back-to-back as league champs

The Canaan Pirates pose as champions after defending the Northwest Connecticut District 6 Majors Little League title.

Photo by Riley Klein

THOMASTON The Canaan Pirates are champions once more.

In the Northwest Connecticut District 6 Majors Little League title game Friday, June 13, the Pirates defeated Thomaston JRC Transportation by a score of 6-2.

Keep ReadingShow less
Red Sox end season with comeback win

NORTH CANAAN — The Canaan Red Sox ended the season with a thrilling 14-13 win over the Tri-Town Phillies Thursday, June 12.

Canaan trailed for most of the game but kept it close. Ultimately, the Red Sox secured the victory with a final-inning comeback in front of the home crowd at Steve Blass Field.

Keep ReadingShow less
State Rep. Horn injured in running accident

State Rep. Maria Horn (D-64) was treated for her injuries at Sharon Hospital.

Photo by John Coston

The day after concluding what has been described as a grueling legislative session, State Rep. Maria Horn (D-64) had a running accident, leaving her with a broken pelvis and collarbone among other more minor bruises and abrasions. Despite the injuries, she is in good spirits and recuperating at home, eager to get back on her feet.

Horn said after spending weeks in the assembly hall, she was eager to get some outdoor exercise in, but perhaps pushed a little too hard too soon. She said she was excited to get a run in on the morning of Friday, June 6, but was still exhausted from her time in Hartford and in the final stretch of recovering from a meniscus repair surgery in December.

Keep ReadingShow less