Concerns about aging parents

While it’s true that there’s no place like home for the holidays, the season can be difficult for adult children who went home for visits and found their aging parents’ health or well-being deteriorating. It can be challenging to assess someone’s health over the phone, so a holiday visit is a good opportunity for a child to gain some insight into a parent’s true health status and living situation. And it can also be a good reminder that more frequent visits might be in order.Visiting a parent at home can give their children an idea of how they are coping on a day-to-day basis. Is the home clean and tidy? Is the refrigerator stocked? Are medications organized? Does the elderly person seem able to maintain his or her personal hygiene?While an unkempt home or poorly stocked pantry may indicate only that some chores are becoming difficult for an aging person, they can also be an indication of a larger issue. The important thing is the adult child taking a look at the situation with a critical eye and a willingness to help.Visiting for a period of time provides an opportunity to watch elderly parents in action. Are they able to move around their home with ease or could they benefit from a walker or wheelchair? Are they taking their medication on time? Are they preparing meals or relying on ready-made dinners? Do they have any difficulties bathing or getting dressed on their own? Are they active or becoming more sedentary? Are they in contact with friends, neighbors and family members? Are they paying their bills in a timely manner?Attending church services or going for a walk around a parent’s neighborhood can be enlightening. Not only will an adult child have a chance to observe how their parent interacts with people they know (Are they social? Are they able to follow and participate in a conversation?), but it will give those people who are around the parent regularly an opportunity to raise any concerns they might have. If pulling friends or neighbors aside is an option, you can also ask if they have noticed any changes in the parent’s behavior or if there is anything they think the parent might need. While it can be difficult to face the challenges that are presented as parents age, there are many options once the need for help is identified. Perhaps they simply need an occasional ride to the doctor’s office or grocery store. Maybe a personal care attendant to help with bathing, a homemaker for light housekeeping help, or even a visiting nurse to check on their medical needs is more appropriate. Or perhaps it’s time to begin a discussion about around-the-clock care for Mom or Dad. Your loved one’s physician or the Salisbury Visiting Nurse Association can provide some clarity as you begin to explore the options.Pat Tremblay, RN, MS, is director of the Salisbury Visiting Nurse Association. To learn more, go to www.salisburyvna.org or call 860-435-0816.