Good car, bad car

What makes a car good? It depends. Does it start or doesn’t it? This is the ultimate criteria.If it starts up every morning, regardless of the temperature, I can forgive a lot. There is nothing more aggravating than a car that does not start reliably. You approach the vehicle with a tight chest and a knot in your stomach. If it doesn’t catch, well, jump-starting a car is simple, right? However, the owner’s manual does seem to indicate that it is possible to explode something if you don’t do it correctly. You might want to read that chapter again.The next most important item is the radio/CD player. If you can’t crank your tunes, you can’t look cool. Every so often a car from “The Hood” would cruise by with rap rhythms pounding. This seemed pretty good to me, so I went and cruised through “The Hood” with my music cranked up. I got many admiring looks as the Polka Boys wailed. The street folks were stunned by the full blast accordions. I could see it in their faces. Some were so happy that they set off fireworks. I could hear the popping noises.What is the color? Charcoal gray primer is the obvious first choice. I used to have a van that was painted partly in original green with large patches of primer making a sort of camouflage pattern. Years later I learned that making your car hard to see is not recommended. After that it is subjective. Some think purple is the cat’s pajamas. Others go for sleek black. My favorite after grey is white. It doesn’t show the dirt. Good car.The automotive industry cannot seem to make up its mind about that hand brake next to your seat (sometimes it is a foot brake to the left on the floor). We always used to call that the emergency brake, but the owner’s manual calls it a parking brake. I guess they don’t want to give your lawyer the idea that you could have difficulty stopping.The actual starting technique varies depending upon the age of the vehicle. The older cars require that the gas pedal be depressed while with later models this might flood the engine. If you would like to avoid all of this uncertainty, send someone else to start your car. This is what Vito Corleone, the Godfather, used to do, although this may have been for a different reason.Hey, mind starting my car up for me while I finish here? (I am a little behind in my loan payments to Big Otto from Detroit). Bill Abrams resides, and ruminates on all things automotive, in Pine Plains.