Losing It

When friends said they knew a woman they wanted me to meet, one who was just right for a relationship, I said no. No more relationships, and certainly not with a woman.

    But they insisted this woman was different. She too had been around the block and knew the type of man she was looking for. And I was the one, they said; definitely the one.

   So I agreed to one date. Odd that it was at 10:30 in the morning in Simsbury, but what the heck. We could talk over coffee and end it quickly if there was no magic. But magic there was, and seduction and promises of a golden, but lean, future.

   Of course, she said, she would be seeing other men — and women, too. But I had to be faithful from day one. And she wasn’t going to be a cheap date, either. But after dating her for a while, I would be a new man, look and feel better and probably be happier. But I’m happy now, I said. Not as happy as I can make you, big guy, the siren promised.

  And so began my affair with Jenny. Jenny Craig. As in queen of weight loss and diet centers.

   She’s Australian.  Started her business with her husband (yes, I’m seeing a married woman) in 1983 with the simple notion of offering weight reduction counseling and prepared foods to the fat people of Australia yearning to be thin again — or for the first time — in a structured program that anyone who can read could follow.

   On our first date (well, actually Jenny herself couldn’t make it; probably busy spending the money she got from selling her business to Nestle four years ago,) her acolytes Jill and Brenda asked me to fill out a simple questionnaire, give them my family doctor’s phone number so they could let her know what I was up to, and tell them my weight-loss goal (I’ll keep that secret.) Then they explained the program.

    Every week I get a preprinted sheet of daily menus, each adding up to 1,500 calories until I reach a lower-weight plateau, when I drop to 1,200 calories. I eat six times a day: three main meals, three snacks. I buy frozen and dry entrees, prepared snacks — gooey peanut and chocolate bars, cinnamon twists, bruschetta veggie chips (all good) and little pumpkin or lemon muffins (not so hot.) There are cereal and pancakes and omelets (mostly good) and awful French toast. Delicious Mexican beans and rice, Chinese dishes, lasagna; limp and tasteless tomato pasta (but with good meatballs.)

   And I fill in with my own foods: non-fat milk (once or twice a day,) low-fat cottage cheese and yogurt (one or the other each day,) fresh vegetables and fruit, salad spinach and greens, but Jenny’s own salad dressing.

   Expensive? Depends. The lifetime membership fee with a sponsor (a riff on the old member-get-a-member marketing tool) is reasonable for the fat-longing-to-be-thin, I think. The Jenny food is fairly expensive, especially when combined with required supermarket purchases. But, again, what price thin?

   So each day I follow the preprinted menu, cook my fresh vegetables, eat my fresh apples or pears (very small ones count as one of three fruit requirements a day,) cook fresh vegetables (mostly broccoli, cauliflower and haricots verts – yes, I can still be pretentious on a diet) drink my milk and eat my vanilla or prune (delicious!) yogurt. And go to the gym.

   And Jenny delivers on her promise: I’m down seven pounds after three weeks.

   

   To be continued.

Latest News

Joseph Robert Meehan

SALISBURY — Joseph Robert Meehan the 2nd,photographer, college professor and nearly 50 year resident of Salisbury, passed away peacefully at Noble Horizon on June 17, 2025. He was 83.

He was the son of Joseph Meehan the 1st and his mother, Anna Burawa of Levittown, New York, and sister Joanne, of Montgomery, New York.

Keep ReadingShow less
Florence Olive Zutter Murphy

STANFORDVILLE, New York — It is with profound sadness that we announce the passing of Florence Olive Zutter Murphy, who went home to be with the Lord on June 16, 2025, at the age of 99.

She was born in Sharon, Connecticut on Nov. 20, 1925, and was a long time resident of the Dutchess County area.

Keep ReadingShow less
Chore Service hosts annual garden party fundraiser

Chore Service hosted 250 supporters at it’s annual Garden Party fundraiser.

Bob Ellwood

On Saturday, June 21, Mort Klaus, longtime Sharon resident, hosted 250 enthusiastic supporters of Northwest Corner’s beloved nonprofit, Chore Service at his stunning 175-acre property. Chore Service provides essential non-medical support to help older adults and those with disabilities maintain their independence and quality of life in their own homes.

Jane MacLaren, Executive Director, and Dolores Perotti, Board President, personally welcomed arriving attendees. The well-stocked bar and enticing hors d’oeuvres table were popular destinations as the crowd waited for the afternoon’s presentations.

Keep ReadingShow less
Bach and beyond
The Berkshire Bach Society (BBS) of Stockbridge will present a concert by cellist Dane Johansen on June 28 at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.
Provided

The mission statement of the Berkshire Bach Society (BBS) reads: “Our mission is to preserve the cultural legacy of Baroque music for current and future audiences — local, national, and international — by presenting the music of J.S. Bach, his Baroque predecessors, contemporaries, and followers performed by world-class musicians.”

Its mission will once again be fulfilled by presenting a concert featuring Dane Johansen on June 28 at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church at 29 Main Street, in Stockbridge, Massachusetts.

Keep ReadingShow less