The Popeye syndrome

What can we learn from Popeye? Well, the first thing is obvious: Spinach contains steroids. Whenever Popeye feels that he is not up to a challenge, he gulps down a can of spinach and then goes into a rage, pummeling everything in sight.

He mutters to himself constantly, evaluating his environment out loud, which is a little unsettling. Although he always seems to have a pipe in his mouth, he is obviously trying to quit smoking as it is seldom lit.

 In order to fully understand the essence of Popeye we must listen carefully. At some point you will hear him verbalize his credo, “I yam what I yam.â€�  If he is nothing else, Popeye is self-involved. Like it says in the old Irish pub song, “If you don’t like me then leave me alone.â€� He is not interested in changing his ways.

He is a bit vacuous regarding the activities of those around him. Sweepea, an infant so young that he doesn’t even walk yet, often wanders off and gets into trouble, which Popeye fails to notice until it is almost too late.

I have never been completely clear on the actual relationship here. Who, exactly, is Sweepea’s father? Or mother? Who is supposed to be watching the kid? Clearly Popeye is not.

His friend, Wimpy, wanders through periodically, constantly negotiating for a hamburger. He is always hungry. Does Popeye care? Not really. Wimpy needs to see a doctor about his condition, but Popeye could care less. Not his problem.

A character less noted is the Sea Hag, an evil person, obviously. Nobody good has “Hag� in their name. She gives Popeye grief whenever she is around. Possibly she is an ex-wife? This might explain Sweepea. Shouldn’t she be watching him, at least part of the time?

Last but not least we come to his self-centered relationship with Olive Oyle. She adores him. He is oblivious, except when his nemesis, Bluto, tries to cut in on him. He usually lets things get out of hand, necessitating the spinach solution.

Bluto’s specialty seems to be kidnapping. He is constantly carrying Miss Oyle off against her will. Constant drubbing at the oversized hands of Popeye does not seem to have a lasting effect on his behavior. From this we learn that violence is not the answer, unless we finish the job. (Presidents take note.)

Ah! To be happy-go-lucky like Popeye, sailing along through life steering your own “ship� here and there while others dance to your tune. And if they don’t, just ignore them.

As Popeye would say, “Skibadeebadibo! Kck! Kck! Kck!�

Words to live by.

Bill Abrams resides (and secretly stocks his own shelves with spinach) in Pine Plains.