Sadness yet joy at memorial service for Kaelen Paton

SHARON —June and July brought an unusually high number of tragic deaths to the Northwest Corner. Nick Givotovsky died at the age of 44 on July 3, after flipping his tractor over while clearing a field at his Cornwall home. David “Rocky� Rochovansky, 66, Kent business owner and former resident state trooper, died of a heart attack at the laundromat he owned with his wife, Caralee, also on July 3. (Story, Page A6).

John Foley died at the age of 58 of a heart attack on July 7 and was mourned by hundreds of people who knew him, worked with him, golfed with him and served as volunteer firefighters with him. (Story, photos of funeral, Page A9; obituary, Page A10.)

But perhaps most tragic of all was the death on June 16 of Kaelan Paton, not only because he was so young, just 16 years old, but also because the circumstances of his death were so painful for the community.

Kaelan had gone to the Housatonic River on the last day of school at Housatonic Valley Regional High School, where he was a freshman, with several friends. A strong swimmer and an experienced whitewater paddler, Kaelan had grown up on the river.

That afternoon, he jumped off a 40-foot-high ledge and into the rushing river several times, even though the water was unusually high and turbulent. Two friends followed him into the water — and were unable to cope with currents that rescue volunteer Skip Kosciusko of Cornwall said were so violent the water felt like a car when it slammed into him.

Kaelan jumped into the water to help his friends to safety and was swept away in an eddy of water after he helped the other boys to safety. His body was found floating downstream toward Cornwall a week later, on June 23.

A memorial service was held at Sharon Center School on Sunday afternoon, July 12. A native of Sharon, Kaelan graduated from the school. The service was attended by his teachers, his friends, the many members of his father’s and mother’s families — and by hundreds of other people who knew Kaelan, his parents, his grandparents, his three sisters, his cousins. The school’s gym/auditorium was filled to capacity. Every seat was taken, every inch of space along the walls was filled. People flowed out into the stairwell and the hallway that serve as entrances to the auditorium.

Kosciusko had been asked by parents Catherine Palmer Paton and David Paton to speak at the service. He quoted a passage from scripture and then explained that he had known Kaelan all his life, attended the same church, boated with him on the river. He went to high school with David Paton, who is an experienced and active whitewater paddler.

Although he didn’t say so at the service, Kosciusko was one of many paddlers who went out on the river every day for a week, searching for Kaelan’s body. He identified the body when it was pulled out of the water. He rappelled down a rock wall to the shore of the river on June 16 and helped pull the other two boys to safety, before he and the other rescue workers realized that Kaelan had also been in the water, and had disappeared.

“David has asked me whether those boys had been reckless that day,� Kosciusko said. He paused. “Yes, they were reckless. They were reckless when they got up. They were reckless when they ate their breakfast. They were reckless when they went to school, and they were reckless when they left school that day.

“God gives teenage boys that recklessness, as he cultures heroes,� he said.

At the parents’ request, Kosciusko recounted the events of June 16, explaining that the boys were diving into a plunge pool below the falls that is normally safe. On that particular day, however, there was an unusual eddy running along one of the rocks near the pool. That eddy apparently caught Kaelan, pulled him back up to the more dangerous water near the falls and then pulled him down.

The grandmother of one of the two rescued boys also shared details of that day. She was unable to go onto the stage in the auditorium and asked Kaelan’s aunt, Mary Palmer of Falls Village, to read a letter.

A tearful Palmer read the letter, which described how one boy fell into the water. Kaelan jumped in to pull him to safety. After the boy pulled himself up onto the slick rock surface, he turned around to find Kaelan, who was no longer there. At the hospital, where he was treated for hypothermia, the boy kept asking, “Where’s Kaelan? Where’s Kaelan?�

The hour-long service was, for the most part, a celebration in art of Kaelan’s life. Poems were read by his older sister, Linnea, and his aunt, Linda Swenson. His two younger sisters, Shannon and Juliana, came onto the stage with Linnea and lit a candle for their brother, which burned throughout the service.

The service was hosted by the Rev. Cheryl Leshay.

Kaelan’s grandmother, Caroline Paton, is a well-known historian of folk music and a folksinger herself. She performed several songs, as did Kaelan’s uncle, Rob Paton, and his father, David.

Wanda Houston, a well-known local performer and singer, sang the gospel hymn, “I’ll fly away.� Many in the audience sang along, or stood and clapped in rhythm, holding each other and swaying.

His English teacher at Sharon Center, Monica Connor, shared recollections of Kaelan, whom she described as “an impish Puck with the face of an angel.� She read aloud from his eighth-grade graduation essay, eliciting laughter from the audience and portraying a kind and gentle boy who also had a very strong sense at a very young age of who he was and what he wanted.

A representative of a Buddhist organization shared some thoughts from her religion, “to honor Kaelan’s interest in Buddhism.�

The service ended with Kaelan’s parents, grandmother and uncle assembled on the stage, along with folksingers from all along the east coast and from Chicago, who performed  songs about love and about loss, and about Kaelan.

The final number was an old camp song, that indicated “the meeting has come to an end.� At that point, for the first time during the service, Caroline Paton, Catherine Palmer Paton and family members in the audience began to openly weep.

The day didn’t end on that sorrowful note, however. The community adjourned to the school cafeteria, where everyone enjoyed a vegetarian potluck meal, to honor Kaelan’s commitment to vegetarianism. Morris Dancers from Great Barrington performed during the picnic, which was followed by contra dancing and more singing, in different parts of the school.

Memorial donations are being collected, to help defray the funeral expenses and to endow a fund that will be administered by Linnea and David Paton in Kaelan’s memory. Donations can be sent to the Kaelan Paton Memorial Fund, in care of Salisbury Bank and Trust, PO Box 7, Sharon, CT 06069; or to David Paton and/or Caroline and Sandy Paton, PO Box 1148, Sharon, CT 06069.

Money is also being collected for a tree in Kaelan’s memory. Donations may be sent to David Moran, Housatonic Valley Regional High School, Warren Turnpike Road, Falls Village, CT 06031; make checks payable to the Landscape Arboretum Committee and write in the memo line: Palmer Paton Tree.