The thoughtful way to welcome your wedding guests

Confession — I have never thrown a wedding. But I have attended plenty of weddings, and I’ve even been in a handful. So from the guest’s-eye-view, I know details matter. 

These days, weddings are a more elaborate affair than ever. What can I say? As a member of the oft-spoken of millennial generation, when we commit, we really commit. A modern wedding isn’t just the ceremony, it’s a welcome cocktail party,  a bonfire night, a rehearsal dinner, and even a showy Sunday brunch. Destination weddings, like Italian villas or little Greek islands are popular, but even a journey to the bride’s hometown can be a trek for faraway guests like old college chums, or the groom’s family who may be from the opposite coast. That’s why a well-prepared welcome bag can really set a happy tone for your wedding guests’ arrival.

Call in the expert

To get the inside scoop on how to pull off this small, but definitely noticeable detail I spoke with wedding planner Stephanie Holst-Grubbe. Formerly the events planner at Interlaken Inn in Lakeville, Holst-Grubbe is now an independent wedding planner serving clients in The Berkshires, The Hudson Valley and in Northwest Connecticut at sought-after venues like Lion Rock Farm in Sharon.

Holst-Grubbe said her goal in wedding planning is “for nothing to feel like an afterthought to a guest — you don’t want the attitude of, ‘That’s bottom of the barrel, we’ll see how the budget hashes out.’” 

She said if you’re going to do welcome bags, do them well. “Every piece of a wedding — especially when people are traveling from near and far, and investing in being there for a full weekend — every piece should feel like, ‘Thank you for being a part of this with us.’’’

DO: Think helpful

Holst-Grubbe’s first welcome bag must-have is an itinerary of what’s happening over the weekend. She conjured the image of the New Yorker who arrives in the countryside and frets at discovering the unreliable cellphone service. 

“Suddenly she can’t remember what time the ceremony starts or where she’s supposed to be.”

The problem solver? “A quick itinerary and a very simplistic map. If you’re providing transportation, include where the transportation is leaving and at what time, so guests know how to plan for the weekend. Also a few places to grab coffee, or in the fall, an apple orchard that’s a 10  minute drive. There are amazing farmers markets in this area so why not have your guests be able to experience that as well? Those are all reasons you love this area, and why you’ve chosen to have your wedding here, so expose your guests to all of the charms.”

DO: Think local

To keep a nice balance,  Holst-Grubbe recommended a sweet and a savory treat and a drink. “A lot of people throw Ibuprofen in the bag. I’m not a huge fan of that. It leaves this impression that you’re going to a keg party. But it can be a little cheeky and fun. I like to focus on what the area is known for — a gingersnap from Sweet William’s Bakery in Salisbury, or a box of Harney & Sons Tea from Millerton. It really resonates with where we are. It can be as simple as a local apple in fall.”

DO: Think personal

Another tip is to let your personalities really show through, both as a couple and as individuals. 

“You can really get cute and fun. It’s a little bit more work to do, but remember a lot of extended family members travel for the wedding and might not have met the groom before. So include a little tag on a treat that says, ‘This is his favorite,’ and ‘This is her favorite.’ You want guests to get to know the couple in tiny, little ways over the whole weekend, and the bag is a great way to bring that feeling in.”

DON’T: Be lazy

The worst sin, Holst-Grubbe said, is to make the bag look like you took a last-minute trip to Costco.

“Throwing a bunch of irrelevant items into a brown paper bag becomes something people leave behind. Being thoughtful about at least few items is important. When guests get the welcome bag you want them to think, ‘This was such a cute idea!’ Not, ‘Wow, a bag of popcorn…’” 

DON’T: Complicate things

Of course, there’s a fine line between thoughtful and too much thought. 

“You don’t have to prepare a giant bag filled to brim, it can be just two or three meaningful items. Also, don’t over-think it, where everything has to be carefully assembled by hand. That can be too time consuming for the bride and her family.” 

Another way the process  can remain manageable is to keep the bags uniform. 

“Make one bag per couple attending, so if you have a single guest they just get a little extra. For a small crowd, adding personalized notes is a nice touch, but it can also be confusing and add a lot of extra stress.  For large weddings, don’t try to personalize it too much to each guest. That can cause a lot of confusion if you want the bags delivered to the guests when they check into their hotels.”

It may seem like a lot to handle, but of course, that’s why having a professional planner to guide your journey down the aisle can really help keep all the complications of wedding planning in perspective.

Holst-Grubbe’s advice on the welcome bags can equally extend to the wedding weekend as a whole: “Pay attention to the details but keep it simple at the same time.”

 

To find out more about Stephanie Holst-Grubbe and SHB Event Planning go to www.shgeventplanning.com or follow her on Instagram @shgeventplanning.

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