A friend, indeed

There are few perfect friends. In fact, some friends are aggravating. It may seem like a mystery as to why we stay friends with some of them. This is where the old joke applies about the family that has an uncle who thinks he is a chicken living with them. He is very annoying with his clucking and scratching out in the yard. When the family is asked why they do not get him some treatment they reply, “Because we need the eggs.” And so it is with our annoying friends.Exemplary friends applaud abilities and achievements while skimming over weaknesses and failures. All of my friends pretty much fall into this category. This differs from family, who feel free to tell you that you need a haircut, have put on some weight and are not realizing your full potential.The big difference between my friends and me is that I do not rebound from criticism as fast, if at all. I sulk, take my ball and go home, stop speaking and try to recruit the like-minded among them to my faction wherein we suppress wrong-thinking, dominate the group, and eventually the … But I have gotten ahead of myself here.“What are friends for?” We hear this a lot. Mainly we hear this when a friend has done something generous, above and beyond the call. That would be like if they help me move. “Taking advantage,” is when they ask me to help them move. That’s what professional movers are for.There are different categories of friends, each with its own set of guidelines. It is usually a disaster to try to expand a relationship into more than one category. Work friends do not interface well with personal friends, for instance. They will keep referring to you as “that idiot from accounting.” Your personal friends did not know about your work name until today.Some of us have game friends. These could be people that play a weekly game of softball, poker buddies, hunting or fishing friends or indoor players of family and strategy games. You must never allow game friends to enter your real world. They have the wrong kind of vibes and will disrupt your universe. Likewise, try to keep the other groups from “sitting in to see what this is all about.” Real world people, at best, will think you odd and, at worst, may report you to Homeland Security.The BFF had to be explained to me. It is not self-evident. Best Friends Forever seem to keep changing status, which is confusing. Maybe “The Real Housewives” show is not the best example?Need a hand with that? I’ll see if anyone is free.Bill Abrams resides, and considers the value of keeping to himself, in Pine Plains.