How does he do it?

Many people have asked me how I come up with a column every week, or maybe it was how do I come up with a “weakly� column? Anyway, I am going to let you in on my secret.

Maybe I should clarify first. When I say many, I am using the term the same way they used to in the old westerns when the Army Indian scout would return to the fort and they would ask him how many of Geronimo’s men were out there. He would answer something like, “Mole Eye see one, two … many braves.�

So anything over two would be many, right? Let’s see, there was my wife, then one of my kids, then that guy on the street that wanted to know what was I thinking. That counts, right?

u      u      u

Actually, the movies were not playing fair. You would think that Indians couldn’t count, just because they would give answers like, “As many buffalo as the leaves on the trees.� See, you need to ask the next question in order to get the information. “And how many would that be, Scout Half Heart?� To which he would then answer, “Two-thousand, three-hundred and four on this side of the river.�

Historians used to laugh at the Indians that sold Manhattan Island for the equivalent of $24 in trade goods. Surely this proves that they had no concept of numbers. Then somebody dug a little deeper and they found that the Indians that sold the land were only renting it out and also they did not own it or even live there. They were visiting that day from New Jersey. A similar practice continues to this day. It became more commonplace after they built those bridges to New Jersey.

u      u      u

So, bowing to popular demand, here is the first part of my secret. I have a condition that the medical and scientific communities refer to, clinically, as “Lack of Focus.â€�  This means that my mind wanders, fixating briefly on one thing, then another. Sometimes it sort of gets stuck on something and remains until it has squeezed out every last drop of minutiae.

Occasionally it slips back in time, dredging up heartwarming nostalgia. Once again I relive my defeats and my victory (Hey! I was a member of the team, even if I didn’t actually play). Sometimes I do not remember that I have already remembered a thing and write about it again. That is where the editor comes in.

Anyway, that is the first part of my secret. Now the really interesting part …

Oh! Look! A squirrel! Why does he keep turning that nut over and over?

Bill Abrams resides (and lets his mind wander) in Pine Plains.

Latest News

GNH blanks St. Paul 34-0 in Turkey Bowl

Wes Allyn breaks away from the St. Paul defense for a reception touchdown Wednesday, Nov. 26.

Photo by Riley Klein

BRISTOL — The Gilbert/Northwestern/Housatonic co-op football team ended the season with a 34-0 shutout victory over St. Paul Catholic High School Wednesday, Nov. 26.

It was GNH’s fourth consecutive Turkey Bowl win against St. Paul and the final game for 19 GNH seniors.

Keep ReadingShow less
Students curate Katro Storm portraits at HVRHS

“Once Upon a Time in America” features ten portraits by artist Katro Storm.

Natalia Zukerman

The Kearcher-Monsell Gallery at Housatonic Valley Regional High School in Falls Village is once again host to a wonderful student-curated exhibition. “Once Upon a Time in America,” ten portraits by New Haven artist Katro Storm, opened on Nov. 20 and will run through the end of the year.

“This is our first show of the year,” said senior student Alex Wilbur, the current head intern who oversees the student-run gallery. “I inherited the position last year from Elinor Wolgemuth. It’s been really amazing to take charge and see this through.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Mini horses, big impact: animal learning center opens in Sheffield

Le Petit Ranch offers animal-assisted therapy and learning programs for children and seniors in Sheffield.

Marjorie Borreda

Le Petit Ranch, a nonprofit offering animal-assisted therapy and learning programs, opened in April at 147 Bears Den Road in Sheffield. Founded by Marjorie Borreda, the center provides programs for children, families and seniors using miniature horses, rescued greyhounds, guinea pigs and chickens.

Borreda, who moved to Sheffield with her husband, Mitch Moulton, and their two children to be closer to his family, has transformed her longtime love of animals into her career. She completed certifications in animal-assisted therapy and coaching in 2023, along with coursework in psychiatry, psychology, literacy and veterinary skills.

Keep ReadingShow less