Teach Your Children Well: Education Is Key to Ending Abuse

The idea of sending a conselor from a domestic violence agency to talk to first-graders may seem a bit strange, but Women’s Support Services in Sharon has been working with Region One students, from kindergarten to 12th grade, for more than 10 years.

"The community education program was set up as a violence prevention program," explained Shayna Sullivan, the former community educator and child advocate at WSS. "It varies from school to school, topic to topic, and age to age so that the material covered is appropriate. Our goal is to be in all of the elementary schools in Region One, in addition to the high school. I also did programs in many of the area day-care centers and occasionally in a couple of the private schools."‘Hands Are Not for Hitting’

Sullivan, who worked with the community’s children through WSS for five-and-a-half years before leaving so she could care for her 6-month-old son, said that by teaching children at a young age to respond to anger and conflict without resorting to violence, WSS hopes to give children the skills they need to have healthy relationships in the future.

"The bottom line is, giving kids choices and alternative ways of handling life issues is a really important life skill," Sullivan said. "They get influences from home, from the TV, from their friends and from other adults in their lives and they’re going to make choices about how to deal with those issues early on. If you can teach them ‘hands are not for hitting’ in first grade, maybe that will stick."

In the elementary schools, Sullivan focused her work with the younger students on conflict resolution and anti-bullying programs. She said that, while WSS tried to be proactive by addressing possible problems before they emerged, she was often called in by the school in response to an incident among students to cover topics such as gender bashing or stereotyping.

In November 2006, Sharon Center School announced that it had received a $10,000 grant from the Foundation for Community Health that will allow the new community educator at WSS, Sheri Cruikshank, to present an anti-bullying program in the school.

"Anti-bullying is talking about someone who is trying to use power and control to get what they want and take away your rights," said Judy Sheridan, director of WSS. "It’s about identifying that behavior early and helping children understand it’s not them, it’s the bully that has the problem."

The program at Sharon Center School will focus on identifying certain behaviors as unacceptable and increasing the students’ conflict resolution skills. Classroom presentations to all grades, parent forums and a theater presentation will be included in the program.

At the high school level, Sullivan was part of a curriculum done each year in the health classes. She covered teen dating violence, healthy relationships, self-esteem, stereotyping and gender roles. Sullivan also held drop-in counseling hours twice a week. She said that a number of students would take advantage of her open hours to talk about relationship issues. Because they knew her from their health classes, the students were more open to talking with her in a counseling session, Sullivan said.Measuring Success, Facing Challenges

Though she feels that the programs are effective, Sullivan said that it was difficult to quantify her success, though she has had positive feedback from parents and teachers about the impact of her programs. Perhaps the best indicator of the way these programs help children is one of the several anecdotes Sullivan offered:

"A boy came in to see me because he was worried about his sister. He had had me in a ninth-grade health class three years before. He said to me, ‘I remember sitting in health class three years ago when you were doing your healthy relationship piece and thinking I’m never going to need this and being totally bored, but I kept your handouts and pulled them out last week.’ He looked down the sheet ‘Your Relationship Might Be Unhealthy If...’ and he checked off nine out of 10 things about his sister’s relationship that he’d witnessed. He took it to his sister and started a conversation about his concerns. Through many tough conversations, counseling sessions and lots of work, she realized the severity of the situation and left it."

Region One is not unique in its partnership with a domestic violence agency. Sullivan said that all 18 of the state’s agencies have community education pieces in the schools and many of their educator positions are full-time.

WSS has had a dedicated staff member for 10 years, but that staff member spends only about half her time on community education. The other half is dedicated to work as a child advocate. Sheridan, the WSS director, said that the main reason her organization does not employ someone full-time to conduct community education is because of a lack of funding.

"There’s no state or federal funding for that position," she said. "We have been fortunate over the years to be partially funded by the Berkshire-Taconic Community Foundation and the Community Foundation for Public Health."

Sullivan added that the peculiarities of the Northwest Corner also played a role.

"We don’t have a shelter," she said, "so the community advocate position isn’t full-time."

The part-time nature of the position makes working in the schools difficult. Sullivan feels that if the position were full-time, the educator would be able to make more of an impact on the students’ decision making.

"I can only drive around and get to so many classes in one day," she said.

Sullivan also noted that some Region One elementary schools are so small that they do not have a counselor on staff.

"The schools that we’re in the most are the ones that have a social worker or a counselor," she said. "They’re aware of much more of what the kids are going through than in the schools that don’t have a counselor in place."

But with the grant at Sharon Center School and the hiring of Cruikshank, Sheridan hopes that the agency’s work in the schools will continue to grow.

"It’s something our board is really motivated to raise funds to support because prevention is such an important part of what we do," she said. "We’re always looking to increase the number of presentations we do in the schools."