Bullying: Enough is enough

FALLS VILLAGE — Students at Housatonic Valley Regional High School (HVRHS) watched a film about bullying as part of an effort to identify, discuss and eliminate such behavior.The film, “Finding Kind,” was shown on Wednesday afternoon, Sept. 26. The 2009 documentary by Pepperdine University students Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson, chronicles the pair’s cross-country trip and their conversations with a wide and eclectic group of people, including psychologists, Dr. Phil, bullied teens and Idaho bikers.The film makes a reference to the 2010 case of Phoebe Prince, a 15-year-old girl who committed suicide after being bullied at South Hadley High School in Massachusetts. Six teenagers were charged with a variety of offenses; five were convicted and sentenced to probation and community service, and anti-bullying legislation was passed in the state legislature.Parsekian and Thompson’s interviews reveal a number of disconcerting truths: that girls as young as 10 refer to each other with words such as “bitch,” “slut,” “fat” or “ugly;” that women remember these insults and injuries for the rest of their lives; and that sometimes even the bullies grow up and are tormented by guilt for their actions.They also zero in on media — the barrage of images aimed at all women about how they should look and act, and the ubiquity of text messaging and Internet communication.One woman in the film notes that young girls “don’t go out to play, they sit and text,” and theorized that the lack of face-to-face contact makes it that much easier to fire off a demeaning message without considering the consequences.Matt Harnett, HVRHS principal, introduced the film. He said that even though the film is about women and girls, “the guys in the room are not off the hook.”He said that everyone in the room had experienced bullying, as a victim, a bully or a bystander.“We have to come together as a community and say ‘enough is enough.’ We start changing this today.”After the screening, Harnett returned to the front of the auditorium and repeated his earlier remark about the universality of bullying. He still remembers “word for word things said to me in the sixth- and seventh-grades. It sticks with you forever.”He asked the students to consider the following:“What can you do differently? The way things are doesn’t have to be the way it’s going to be. Your words are powerful, and when you hit ‘send’ you no longer have control.”“We’ve got to start taking better care of each other,” he said.Several students took the microphone. One girl said she wished more people could see the film. “Do we need to lose someone” before bullying is addressed, she asked. “We have amazing teachers and amazing kids. So do it!”A boy said that his peers are just as rough on each other as the girls. “Last year there were lots of times I didn’t want to go to school.”Another boy said he was initially picked on for being overweight. He reacted by becoming a bully himself.Then his grandparents died, he said, and he changed his attitude. “I realized you can’t take life for granted.”And a girl said the film brought back memories of a friend being bullied. “It disturbs me that people we’ve gone to school with for years can act that way.”About 50 parents attended another showing of “Finding Kind” the next evening.Harnett said that students approached him toward the end of the 2011-12 school year and expressed not only concern over bullying but the desire to do something about it. The film is the first of many activities on the subject of bullying planned for the 2012-13 school year.At the Oct. 1 meeting of the Region One Board of Education, Harnett said that the next activity in the anti-bullying effort would be “Operation Jungle Red,” which Harnett described as an anti-violence program that originated at Miami (Ohio) University.Students from Western Connecticut State University will come to HVRHS Oct. 25, and Harnett is taking a group to the university campus on Oct. 17.