There is help available: Feeling unsafe in your own home

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and this year there may have been more awareness of this often silent scourge than any other. As the restriction on activity due to COVID-19 overtook the lives of Americans, and humans across the globe, the quality of life as it was happening inside our own homes became so very important. Any gaps in mutual respect and civility, in addition to love and caring, among families and friends co-habitating were magnified and took hold of day-to-day life. 

In Connecticut, the governor signed an executive order creating, and the judiciary implemented in early April, a process for filing temporary restraining orders as courthouses were closed to the public. But this resource could only go so far. The victim looking for relief from abuse must have independent access to the internet that is reliable in order to take such a step. That is not often the case in dominant-aggressor controlled relationships, and remember that at the same time, internet access at libraries became unavailable. In September, the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CCADV) reported that the total number of restraining order applications filed in the state fell over 50% during April and May, prior to courts beginning to reopen in June.

Now, with a new surge in cases of the coronavirus in the state, and schools feeling the effects of the disease beginning to spread again, there will again be challenges for families that can feel overwhelming. This is a new experience for all of us, and none of us should feel ashamed or reluctant to find help if life becomes unmanageable. There are resources available by internet or phone, and there are people willing and able to help. 

If violence is an imminent threat, of course, call 911. If you are feeling unsafe generally in a relationship, there are advocates available 24/7 to help. Locally, there are: Women’s Support Services based in Sharon, online at www.wssdv.org or by a crisis line phone 24 hours at 860-364-1900, for support, advocacy, referrals or emergency shelter; the Susan B. Anthony Project, based in Torrington, provides crisis and support services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. All services are confidential, free, and available 24/7. They are online at www.sbaproject.org or by crisis line phone 24 hours at 860-482-7133. 

The CCADV, which is Connecticut’s voice for victims of domestic violence and those agencies that serve them, is a membership organization of the state’s 18 domestic violence service agencies that provide critical support to victims including safety planning, emergency shelter, court advocacy, counseling and support groups, among other services. Their website, www.ctcadv.org, has resources from across the state, and they recommend going online 24/7 to www.CTSafeConnect.org or calling 888-774-2900 for access to help.

All these organizations, their staff and volunteers, are dedicated to being available to all who are feeling unsafe in their own homes. There are tools available to make life better through these difficult times, and all of us should feel that we are able to make use of them.