Thank you!
Your support is sustaining the future of local news in our communities.

A syndrome: Use my guy . . . please!

There’s nothing unusual about asking for a recommendation when contemplating a home project or something needs servicing. What I find interesting is that the response is often couched in language strongly implying that they have the absolute best plumber, electrician, contractor … whatever, and you would be crazy to consider using anyone else. And if you don’t use their guy? That is taken as a personal slap in the face.

Let’s call this Top Man Syndrome. Top Man because it usually involves a man-to-man recommendation. From my observation, although painful to admit, men have a need for validation of their choices by insisting that others make the same choices. And they confidently offer assurance (with no actual data to back it up) that they have the best guy for the job. 

Women seem more secure and don’t require constant ego reinforcement. They focus on competence and reliability; an excellent reason to consult a woman the next time you’re looking for someone to fix something.

Nowhere is Top Man Syndrome more prevalent than in health care. Think about it. Have you come across anyone who hasn’t had a hip replacement or knee surgery from “the top guy” at (fill in your favorite orthopedic hospital)? To further embellish the top man credential, the doctor is often identified as the surgeon for the Yankees, the Knicks, the Celtics, the Patriots or whatever pro sports team lends the proper street cred. 

It does beg the question: if the surgeon is spending all this time on your friends’ hips, knees and ACLs, how does he possibly have the time for the Yankees, the Knicks, etc.? How can everyone have the top guy?

Before you get too carried away obsessing about having the top guy for your next medical procedure, keep in mind the answer to the following question: 

“What do you call the person who graduates last in their class at medical school?”

“Doctor”.

M.A. Duca is a resident of Twin Lakes, narrowly focused on everyday life.

M.a. Duca
The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

Lelah M. Somers

Lelah M. Somers

DOVER PLAINS — Lelah M. Somers, 97, a longtime Dover Plains, New York, resident, passed away peacefully on Saturday, Oct. 10, 2026, at Ferncliff Nursing Home in Rhinebeck, New York. Lelah was born on July 3, 1929, in Pawling, New York, to the late Byron and Lelah (Watts) Brill. Lelah grew up in Pawling and on Nov. 22, 1946, in Pleasant Valley, New York, she married James F. Somers, Sr. Mr. Somers passed away on Sept. 3, 1970. Lelah worked for New York State as a therapy aide for thirty-years and as a senior companion for New York State for thirty-two-years, with specific care provided to the mentally disabled.

She enjoyed taking care of the mentally disabled, was a wonderful mother to her four children, always putting her family first. She is survived by her son, James F. Somers, Jr. and his wife Donna of Dover Plains; two daughters, Doreen Monica of Wingdale, and Frances “Fran” Horton of Dover Plains, who was also her caregiver for many years; seven grandchildren, Debbie, Margie, Leah, Stephanie, Deirdra, Benji and Jimmy and several great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren, and many nieces and nephews, and her step-son, Kenny Elliott. In addition to her parents and husband, Lelah was predeceased by her daughter and son-in-law, Carol “DeeDee” Maile and Gil Maile, her son-in-law, Stephen Monica, and her son-in-law, Benny Horton as well as her companion of over forty-years, Andrew “Mac” McAlravey and her siblings, Ferris Brill, Eleanor Barryann, Richard Brill, William Brill and Barney Brill.

Keep ReadingShow less

The art of getting into art school

The art of getting into art school

Hudson Valley Regional Portfolio Day returns to Poughkeepsie.

Provided

For a young artist considering college, the question isn’t simply whether the work is good enough. It’s which work to show, which school might be the right fit and even whether a creative life can lead to a sustainable career.

On Friday, Oct. 16, hundreds of aspiring artists will have the opportunity to explore those questions at Hudson Valley Regional Portfolio Day, presented by The Art Effect at the MJN Convention Center in Poughkeepsie.

Keep ReadingShow less
education

A colorful life together at Atelier Valla

A colorful life together at Atelier Valla

Textile designer Justine Valla sits in her father’s chair, which she painted, alongside her husband, illustrator and muralist Victor Valla, in their Atelier Valla studio.

L. Tomaino
I lost the ability to paint after the accident. I struggled to paint again.
— Justine Valla

Husband and wife Victor and Justine Valla share a lavender and pink studio, Atelier Valla, across the driveway from their pink house, nestled into a hillside in Salisbury. The colors, said Justine, “were inspired by Monet’s house at Giverny.”

Creating art has been a lifelong pursuit for both.

Keep ReadingShow less
our community
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

David Ruchman’s “Acquired Taste”

David Ruchman’s “Acquired Taste”

Filmmaker David Ruchman

Bleacher and Everard Photography

In a region known for its vibrant but geographically scattered arts community, discovering something new can require a little effort. The same might be said for finding a new place for an extraordinary meal. While the Northwest Corner, Berkshires and Hudson Valley have no shortage of creative talent, opportunities to experience it — whether on a stage, in a gallery or on a plate — aren’t always just around the corner.

In David Ruchman’s short film “Acquired Taste,” that challenge becomes the premise for an unlikely friendship between Nick, an aspiring young food critic living in an area with limited dining options, and a gruff New York City master chef.

Keep ReadingShow less
film

Follow the Clay Way for ceramic delights

Follow the Clay Way for ceramic delights

Jane Herold’s beautifully simple dinnerware.

Provided

As the leaves across Litchfield and Dutchess counties rush to make it to the ground, your last chance to peep autumn is fast approaching. On Oct.17 and 18, the 10th annual Clay Way offers peepers a route to follow lined with unique art that rivals the area’s natural beauty.

The two-day event is a ceramics-focused open studio tour through northwestern Connecticut, with a few studios peppered in just over the border in Dutchess County. Featuring nine open studios and 25 participating artists, the tour promises a wide variety of work, from decorative objects to grand vessels and a whole world in between.

Keep ReadingShow less
open-studio

A new home for the unexpected at Kent Fine Art

A new home for the unexpected at Kent Fine Art

CAMERON (1922-1995) is on view at Kent Fine Art in Pine Plains through Nov. 14.

Provided

Where can one find the work of an artist associated with occult rituals, surrealist visions and the underground California art scene? In a beautifully renovated former carriage house in Pine Plains, of course.

Unexpected discoveries are, after all, part of what Doug Walla has spent his career making possible. The longtime New York City art dealer and founder of Kent Fine Art, has brought the work of Marjorie Cameron Parsons Kimmel, known simply as Cameron, to his new gallery space. The exhibition, on view through Nov. 14, introduces visitors to an artist whose life and work moved between mysticism, poetry, film and the avant-garde.

Keep ReadingShow less
exhibit
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.