Moving up in the royalty world

The bravery shown by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as they speak out about the heavy burden imposed on them by the British royal family has given me the courage to do something I’ve been secretly contemplating for a long time. I’ve decide to give up my commoner status and become a royal.

Lest you think I’m another one of those guys who decides to make a career change and expects his wife to go along without any thought to her situation I can assure you that is not the case. We have had extensive discussions and she has graciously agreed to become a Princess. In the event that position is not immediately available, she will accept the title of Royal Duchess subject to a six-month performance review leading to Princess. 

We both agree that under no circumstances will she accept anything along the lines of near-royalty or, god forbid, lady-in-waiting. Even a cursory familiarity with Masterpiece Theater tells you that lesser royals always get the short end of the stick, or worse.

As much as I am inspired by Harry, my circumstances are very much different. Although I have had some experience ribbon cutting at Christmas and throughout the year with pastry boxes it is obviously nowhere near the level required of royals. I am pretty handy with a pair of scissors or shears, as the British might say, so I’m confident that I could get up the learning curve pretty quickly.

I have no military background, which makes the uniform thing a problem. I was a Cub Scout. And I must admit that I was proud to wear the blue and gold. I liked being a Cub Scout and had no desire to move on to the drab tan and green of the Boy Scouts. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand that Scouting is like being on the partnership track at a law firm. Up or out. The den mother had to tell me that I could no longer be a Cub Scout. Apparently, I had aged-out and was headed for the distinction of “world’s oldest Cub Scout.”

Of course, declaring myself a royal is just the first step. I would need to join a royal family. Since I speak the language and with the opening left by Prince Harry, the British royal family would seem to be a natural fit. Although some have questioned how my version of English would translate “across the pond.” 

Depending on how you count them, more than 25 monarchies exist around the world so I’m not solely dependent on the whims of the House of Windsor. That said, I am not interested in joining absolute monarchies or countries with excessively hot weather. That pretty much limits me to Western Europe. Unlike Prince Harry, I’m looking for more of a ceremonial role. Someplace manageable like Lichtenstein or Luxembourg. Monaco is always a possibility and the Scandinavian countries seem very accepting of outsiders. So I have choices.

I’ve reached out to Harry and Meghan for their perspective, so far to no avail. Still clinging to vestiges of royal privilege, they have routed all my inquiries to an intermediary. Some person named Oprah. Oh well, keep calm and carry on.

 

M.A. Duca is a resident of Twin Lakes, narrowly focused on everyday life.

Latest News

Donald Francis ‘Frank’ McNally

MILLERTON — Donald Francis “Frank” McNally Jr., passed away peacefully at Vassar Brothers Medical Center on Wednesday Jan. 8, 2025, after a short illness. Frank was a resident of Millerton since 1996. He was born on Jan. 27, 1955, in Cold Spring, New York, at Butterfield Hospital and was raised in Garrison, New York, where he enjoyed exploring and camping in the wilderness of the Hudson Valley, participating in the Boy Scouts as a bugler, and competing as captain of his high school wrestling team.

He was a graduate of James I. O’Neill High School in Highland Falls class of ‘74 and SUNY Cobleskill class of ‘76 where he majored in animal husbandry, specializing in equine science. He then proudly volunteered for the United States Peace Corps where he accepted an assignment to his host country of the Philippines, where he met his wife. Frank would then pursue his lifelong passion for horses and horseback riding on several horse farms in Dutchess County. Later he would work for New York state where he would then retire, spending his time caring for animals, reading, fishing and taking photographs. Frank enjoyed a good laugh with family and friends, while also occasionally winning a game of RISK. Frank was an avid reader, often reading several books a week while in the constant company of his cat.

Keep ReadingShow less
Florence Eugenia Cooper

NORFOLK — Florence Eugenia Cooper died on Sunday, Dec. 15, 2024, at the age of 92 at Geer Lodge in Canaan, Connecticut where she had been a resident for 2 ½ years. She also spent a couple of days a week at the home of her daughter, the artist Hilary Cooper and her husband Chris Crowley, in Lakeville.

Florence (neé Muhas) was born and grew up in Brooklyn, New York, the daughter of Greek immigrants. She went to local public schools and then to college at Barnard where she was mentored by Professor of Religion Ursula Niebuhr, wife of the philosopher Reinhold Niebuhr, who urged her to go to her alma mater St Hugh’s College, Oxford University where she earned a D. Phil degree. Later, she received an M.A. in foreign policy with a specialty in China, at the London School of Economics.

Keep ReadingShow less
Frederick Ralph Scoville II

WEST CORNWALL — Frederick Ralph Scoville II, 72, of 243 Town St., died Jan. 7, 2025, at the Waterbury Hospital surrounded by his loving family. Fred was the husband of 45 years to Lynn (Pollard) Scoville. Fred was born in Torrington, son of the late Ralph and Thalia (Hicock) Scoville.

Fred spent his whole life in West Cornwall. He attended Cornwall Consolidated and Housatonic Valley Regional High School. The only time he left was to attend the University of Connecticut for animal science. After school he came home to work with his father on the family farm taking over full-time in 1996 milking dairy cattle and selling hay. His life passion was the farm. He could always be found tinkering on equipment or surveying the neighborhood on his golf cart. The only thing that rivaled the farm was his love of his family. His wife, sons, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren meant the world to Fred.

Keep ReadingShow less
Violet Leila Woods

MILLERTON — Violet Leila Woods, 95, passed away peacefully on Jan. 1, 2025, in Mesa, Arizona. She was born on Jan. 23, 1929, in Brooklyn, New York. Following birth, Violet resided in Millerton, New York, where she lived until moving to Jacksonville, Florida following her retirement. She was preceded in death by her husband, Norman Woods; her parents, Henry George Rice and Eurie Marion Rice; her ten siblings; Audrey, Glendon, Joseph, George, Robert, Gordon, Beulah, Marion, Edith, and Betty. Violet, more commonly known as “Vi” lived a long, fulfilling, and wonderful life spent with family and friends.

Day to day, Violet spent time playing sudoku puzzles and was an avid reader, finding joy in exchanging books with friends. She also found great joy playing bingo, pinnacle, poker, and had a lifelong passion for knitting and crocheting, which she learned from her mother. Many friends or relatives have received sweaters, blankets, and afghans hand-made by Vi. Her handmade gifts truly touched the lives of many.

Keep ReadingShow less