Moving up in the royalty world

The bravery shown by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as they speak out about the heavy burden imposed on them by the British royal family has given me the courage to do something I’ve been secretly contemplating for a long time. I’ve decide to give up my commoner status and become a royal.

Lest you think I’m another one of those guys who decides to make a career change and expects his wife to go along without any thought to her situation I can assure you that is not the case. We have had extensive discussions and she has graciously agreed to become a Princess. In the event that position is not immediately available, she will accept the title of Royal Duchess subject to a six-month performance review leading to Princess. 

We both agree that under no circumstances will she accept anything along the lines of near-royalty or, god forbid, lady-in-waiting. Even a cursory familiarity with Masterpiece Theater tells you that lesser royals always get the short end of the stick, or worse.

As much as I am inspired by Harry, my circumstances are very much different. Although I have had some experience ribbon cutting at Christmas and throughout the year with pastry boxes it is obviously nowhere near the level required of royals. I am pretty handy with a pair of scissors or shears, as the British might say, so I’m confident that I could get up the learning curve pretty quickly.

I have no military background, which makes the uniform thing a problem. I was a Cub Scout. And I must admit that I was proud to wear the blue and gold. I liked being a Cub Scout and had no desire to move on to the drab tan and green of the Boy Scouts. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand that Scouting is like being on the partnership track at a law firm. Up or out. The den mother had to tell me that I could no longer be a Cub Scout. Apparently, I had aged-out and was headed for the distinction of “world’s oldest Cub Scout.”

Of course, declaring myself a royal is just the first step. I would need to join a royal family. Since I speak the language and with the opening left by Prince Harry, the British royal family would seem to be a natural fit. Although some have questioned how my version of English would translate “across the pond.” 

Depending on how you count them, more than 25 monarchies exist around the world so I’m not solely dependent on the whims of the House of Windsor. That said, I am not interested in joining absolute monarchies or countries with excessively hot weather. That pretty much limits me to Western Europe. Unlike Prince Harry, I’m looking for more of a ceremonial role. Someplace manageable like Lichtenstein or Luxembourg. Monaco is always a possibility and the Scandinavian countries seem very accepting of outsiders. So I have choices.

I’ve reached out to Harry and Meghan for their perspective, so far to no avail. Still clinging to vestiges of royal privilege, they have routed all my inquiries to an intermediary. Some person named Oprah. Oh well, keep calm and carry on.

 

M.A. Duca is a resident of Twin Lakes, narrowly focused on everyday life.

The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

‘Vulnerable Earth’ opens at the Tremaine Gallery

Tremaine Gallery exhibit ‘Vulnerable Earth’ explores climate change in the High Arctic.

Photo by Greg Lock

“Vulnerable Earth,” on view through June 14 at the Tremaine Gallery at Hotchkiss, brings together artists who have traveled to one of the most remote regions on Earth and returned with work shaped by first-hand experience of a fragile, rapidly shifting planet, inviting viewers to sit with the tension between awe and loss, beauty and vulnerability.

Curated by Greg Lock, director of the Photography, Film and Related Media program at The Hotchkiss School, the exhibition centers on participants in The Arctic Circle, an expeditionary residency that sends artists and scientists into the High Arctic aboard a research vessel twice a year. The result is a show documenting their lived experience and what it means to stand in a place where climate change is not theoretical but visible, immediate and accelerating.

Keep ReadingShow less
Beyond Hammertown: Joan Osofsky designs what comes next

Joan Osofsky and Sharon Marston

Provided

Joan Osofsky is closing the doors on Hammertown, one of the region’s most beloved home furnishings and lifestyle destinations, after 40 years, but she is not calling it an ending.

“I put my baby to bed,” she said, describing the decision with clarity and calm. “It felt like the right time.”

Keep ReadingShow less
A celebratory season of American classics and new works at Barrington Stage Company
Playwright Keelay Gipson’s “Estate Sale” will have its world premier this summer at Barrington Stage Company.
Provided

Amid the many cultural attractions in the region, the Barrington Stage Company in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, stands out for its award-winning productions and comprehensive educational and community-based programming. The theater’s 2026 season is one of its most ambitious; it includes two Pulitzer Prize-winning modern classics, one of the greatest theatrical farces ever written, and new works that speak directly to who we are right now as a society.

“Our 2026 season is a celebration of extraordinary storytelling in all its forms — timeless, uproarious and boldly new,” said Artistic Director Alan Paul. “This season features works that have shaped the American theater, as well as world premieres that reflect the company’s deep commitment to developing new voices and new stories. Together, these productions embody what BSC does best: entertain, challenge and connect our audiences through theater that feels both essential and alive.”

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

Hotchkiss Film Festival celebrates 15th year of emerging filmmakers

Student festival directors Trey Ramirez (at the mic) and Leon Li introducing the Hotchkiss Film Festival.

Brian Gersten

The 15th annual Hotchkiss Film Festival took place Saturday, April 25, marking a milestone year for a student-driven event that continues to grow in ambition, reach and artistic scope. The festival was founded in 2012 by Hotchkiss alumnus and Emmy-nominated filmmaker Brian Ryu. Ryu served as a festival juror for this year’s installment, which showcased a selection of emerging filmmakers from around the region. The audience was treated to 17 films spanning drama, horror, comedy, documentary and experimental forms — each reflecting a distinct voice and perspective.

This year’s program was curated by student festival directors Trey Ramirez and Leon Li, working alongside faculty adviser Ann Villano. With more than 52 submissions received, the selection process was both rigorous and rewarding. The final lineup included six films from Hotchkiss students.

Keep ReadingShow less
Artist Maira Kalman curates ‘Shaker Outpost’ in Chatham

The Laundry Room, a painting by Maira Kalman from the exhibition “Shaker Outpost: Design, Commerce, and Culture” at the Shaker Museum’s pop-up space in Chatham.

Photo by Maira Kalman; Courtesy of the artist and Mary Ryan Gallery, New York

With “Shaker Outpost: Design, Commerce, and Culture,” opening May 2, the Shaker Museum in Chatham invites artist and writer Maira Kalman to pair her own new paintings with objects from the museum’s vast holdings, and, in the process, reintroduce the Shakers not as relic, but as a living argument for clarity, usefulness and grace.

Born in Tel Aviv, Maira Kalman is a New York–based artist and writer known for her illustrated books, wide-ranging collaborations and distinctive work spanning publishing, design and fine art.

Keep ReadingShow less

Ticking Tent spring market returns

Ticking Tent spring market returns

The Ticking Tent Spring Market returns to Spring Hill Vineyards in New Preston on May 2.

Jennifer Almquist

The Ticking Tent Spring Market returns to New Preston Saturday, May 2, bringing more than 60 antiques dealers, artisans and design brands to Spring Hill Vineyards for a one-day, brocante-style shopping event from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Co-founders Christina Juarez and Benjamin Reynaert invite visitors to the outdoor market at 292 Bee Brook Road, where curated vendors will offer home goods, fashion, tabletop and collectible design. Guests can browse while enjoying Spring Hill Vineyards’ wines and seasonal fare.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.