Self-esteem and career success go hand-in-hand

Positive self-esteem is important to career success; few could rise to their potential without it.

Self-esteem relates, of course, to how we view ourselves. When positive, we can look in the mirror and see someone who is: valued and appreciated; capable and accomplished in some area; and who has control over his or her life.

At work, such people typically project confidence, are able to overcome adversity, make things happen and cope effectively with stress.

They also tend to adapt more easily to change, display initiative and take risks.

An employee with poor self-esteem or a poor self-image might be reluctant to: take on difficult challenges; try again after failing; stand up for his/her beliefs. Some insecure people however, manage to rise to prominent positions. And many of them end up self-destructing.

Poor self-esteem can be disguised in numerous ways. I recently coached a marketing executive whose career was stagnating because of his tendency to personalize criticism and respond angrily when his expertise was questioned.

As it turned out, this individual experienced wavering self-esteem that was exacerbated by what he perceived to be rejection of his expertise.

With coaching, he overcame his insecurity and recognized that colleagues often had their own agendas.

As such, they did not necessarily reject his ideas on the basis of merit.

In another instance, the president of a software company was known for his aggressive and intimidating manner, which had led to high turnover. Underneath his confident facade was a man with surprisingly poor self-esteem and who used intimidation to ward off challenges from staff. He eventually learned to relate more effectively.

Inevitably, there are times when we experience self-doubt, at work or in our personal lives. Triggers can include job loss, failure or disappointment, rejection by a loved one or feeling unappreciated, to name a few.

How can our self-esteem survive such assaults? With profound wisdom, Eleanor Roosevelt once remarked, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.â€

In other words, you can choose to feel good about yourself, even when your self-esteem is tested.

The following strategies can also help:

• Choose companionship carefully. When possible, surround yourself with people who make you “feel good,†avoiding those who drag you down.

• Pursue activities that showcase your abilities. If you are a skilled woodworker, embark on a project that leads to a tangible accomplishment.

• Take charge of your life rather than allow things to “happen to you.†Become more comfortable saying “no†when you feel imposed upon.

• In a job search, actively network to get the leads needed to eventually land a job.

• Get in the habit of practicing self-affirmation, that is, focus on your attributes.

We also need to consider the impact of our words and behavior on others’ self-esteem. As a boss, parent or anyone engaging the services of another:

• Focus criticism on the issue and not the person. If a painter misses a spot, point to the error rather than refer to his/her “sloppy†work.

• Balance criticism with praise and encouragement. Express your delight in another’s accomplishment.

• Set realistic goals and expectations so that achievement is possible.

• Empower others to do their jobs without over-controling them. This conveys trust and allows people the space to flourish.

Danella Schiffer, Ph.D., is an industrial/organizational psychologist who resides in Salisbury and works nationally, with organizations and individuals. She can be reached at danella.schiffer@att.net.