Vigil focused on dangers of abuse in teen dating

SALISBURY — Some 50 people gathered on a chilly fall evening at The White Hart on Tuesday, Oct. 20,  for a candlelight vigil to draw attention to the problem of domestic violence.

The vigil was sponsored by Women’s Support Services in Sharon, which provides support, crisis counseling, emergency short-term shelter and other services for victims of domestic violence.

Guest speaker Linda Blozie of the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence said, “Part of our job is to influence the public perception about domestic violence. Everybody here knows at least one victim of domestic violence. You may not know it, but if it isn’t you it’s someone to your left or right. It’s a co-worker, a friend, a family member.â€

This year a national campaign is directed toward teenagers. State Sen. Andrew Roraback (R-30) said, “If we can get to teens — especially boys — then we can reverse the tide of domestic violence.â€

A young woman volunteer read a first-hand account from a contemporary, describing an abusive relationship that began in high school and followed her into her first year of college.

The boy was controlling and jealous, and demanded intimate details of her life prior to meeting him. He prevented her from seeing her friends, and was so dominating that the writer  started to change.

“I avoided my friends, I would not talk to any males. I thought his behavior was my fault.

“I wanted to end the relationship but I was afraid he would get worse if I did.â€

It wasn’t until she went away to college that the writer was able to sever the ties with the boyfriend. But even with distance, and support from friends, it wasn’t easy.

“Regardless of what kind of relationship it was, it was a relationship with ties.But I realized that staying only added to his sick beliefs.â€

Another young woman read a “Teen Dating Bill of Rights.†The top item: “To always be treated with respect.â€

Roraback said later that last year a bill passed the General Assembly allowing police officers to issue restraining orders on weekends. “In the old days you had to wait until Monday to find a judge. Now it can be a condition of bail.â€

He added that an effort to provide funding to make sure the state’s shelters are staffed around the clock stalled this year, as legislators tried to cope with massive budget problems.

For the Teen Dating Bill of Rights, se cosomething.org. For more information on Women’s Support Services, see wssdv.org or call 860-364-1080. The WSS 24-hour hotline is 860-364-1900

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