![A voice in the dark: From the wreckage of his life as an addict, Thuan Nguyen found a way to heal others](https://lakevillejournal.com/media-library/thuan-nguyen-photo-courtesy-mountainside.jpg?id=50680905&width=980&quality=90)
Thuan Nguyen Photo courtesy Mountainside
Thuan Nguyen, the wellness manager at addiction treatment center Mountainside in North Canaan, has remarked that an addict’s journey from a life of addiction to a life of service and spiritual fulfillment is a testament to the transformative power of the human spirit.
Nguyen created Mountainside’s signature Spirituality in Recovery curriculum, which many of the treatment center’s alumni have said helped them begin their own journeys to the peace of mind and self-knowledge necessary for sober living.
Nguyen’s own life began in tumult. Born in South Vietnam during the war, he was just 11 months old when his father, a pilot for the South Vietnamese air force, received word that Saigon was on the brink of falling.
Nguyen’s mother fled via motorcycle with her four children and “just the clothes on their back,” said Nguyen. The men were destined for mainland Thailand, but in a desperate bid to be with his family, Nguyen’s father and a friend stole a plane off the air force base and deserted. Reunited, the family ended up in a refugee camp in Pennsylvania, received sponsorship from a church in Pleasantville, New York, and finally came to settle in Westchester County.
“I’ve been told that I thrash at night sometimes, so I think it’s still in my body somewhere,” Nguyen confided. “I probably have some trauma from it, but I don’t know consciously.”
Struggling against social anxiety, Nguyen began drinking in high school. “I’d been so anxious, and I used it as a tool,” he said. “I wanted to fit in. I was an introvert. I was really shy. But when I drank, it was like, ‘OK. Now I can be like everybody else.’ And I wanted to be like everybody else.”
In sobriety, Nguyen has come to realize that at the time, he simply didn’t like who he was, and alcohol offered him the illusion of transformation.
Asked if alcohol eventually “stopped working,” as many alcoholics report, Nguyen laughed: “I don’t think it ever stopped working. It was the crystal meth that took me down.”
A driven and successful student, Nguyen went from high school to Vassar College to Cornell University into a successful professional life in New York. One night out at a club with colleagues, a work friend’s dealer offered him crystal meth. “The sense of euphoria was unbelievable,” said Nguyen. “Crystal meth made me feel like Superman. I felt like I could do anything I wanted.”
And for a time, he was indeed Superman. In a turn of events that many people with addiction experience, promotions and raises flowed.
“I thought, ‘No one needs to know as long as I can control it,’” he said. “I controlled it for a good three years, and then the last year was just horrendous. I was doing it at work, around the clock. I thought people didn’t know, but people knew.”
He was fired. “I couldn’t stop,” he explained. “I kept telling myself I’d stop if my partying life got in the way of my professional life, but when it actually happened, I was like, ‘Well, I can’t stop now.’”
He moved to Seattle, hoping that, in a more relaxed life, he would be able to stop drinking and using drugs. But he couldn’t.
In the throes of his addiction, convinced he would die, with the police showing up at his door, no job, and the threat of homelessness looming, Nguyen finally checked in to High Watch, a 12 step-based treatment program in Kent.
I remember walking into the dining hall and seeing the 12 steps on the wall and thinking, ‘Oh god. I’m in one of those places. How did I get here?’” Nguyen decided he’d get through the 21-day program, get his family off his back, and get back to his life.
“That was the plan,” Ngyuyen explained, “Until I realized I couldn’t live without drugs and alcohol.”
One night at High Watch, a blizzard came through the area. The campus was covered in crystal rock salt to prevent slipping. Alone in his dorm room, Nguyen mistook a chunk of rock salt for crystal meth and thought this must have been a test of the program.
It was then that he realized, “‘I am obsessed. When I’m not doing drugs, I’m thinking about doing drugs.’”
This total acceptance is what people in recovery sometimes describe as “surrender”—and for Nguyen, it enabled him to commit to his recovery and to Alcoholics Anonymous. He found himself surrounded by a community of people who were spiritual and peaceful, and he shared, “I wanted what they had.”
Three years since he had last held a job, Nguyen left rehab and secured a position in housekeeping at High Watch.
“I couldn’t exactly pick and choose,” he said of his then-new position. “It taught me humility.” He told himself, “‘I’m just like everyone else here. I’m just gonna do my job and be okay with that.’”
Through his work at High Watch, he became a 12-step coach. Fueled by a deepening connection to spirituality through meditation and yoga, Nguyen became a certified yoga and reiki teacher, in Yoga of the 12 Steps, and special training in qigong.
This path eventually led him to Mountainside, where he could explore an array of healing modalities. Here, he revels in the opportunity to share his journey and the wisdom he’s gathered with clients.
“I think self-love is the holy grail of the entire program. Because if you can learn to love yourself, you will never do anything to harm yourself,” said Nguyen. He said that working at Mountainside helps to keep him sober day to day, and to find immense gratitude for his journey.
“Most of it is knowing how hard it is to get sober, how painful the beginning is and getting to be a voice for people because there were voices of hope for me,” he said. “I want to be around to help somebody when they finally say, ‘OK, I’m done. Now what do I do?’ and to be one of those people that gets to help.”
Abstract art display in Wassaic for Upstate Art Weekend, July 18-21.
WASSAIC — Art enthusiasts from all over the country flocked to the Catskill Mountains and Hudson Valley to participate in Upstate Art Weekend, which ran from July 18 to July 21.
The event, which “celebrates the cultural vibrancy of Upstate New York”, included 145 different locations where visitors could enjoy and interact with art.
On Saturday, July 20, The Wassaic Project hosted numerous community events. Will Hutnick, the director of artistic programming, said “We’ve been a part of it since the beginning, this is the fifth year of UPAW.”
Most of the action was based at Maxon Mills, the seven-floor grain mill located in the heart of Wassaic. On exhibit was work from 30 artists, 18 of whom were past residents of The Wassaic Project. “Artists can come and do a residency here, meaning they live and work with one another for a couple months at a time,” Hutnick stated.
The first floor held work by Petra Szilagyi, who uses dirt and linseed oil to construct images of paranormal concepts, most of which include bats. They reflected that a recent trip to a fifth sense competition in Vietnam was the influence behind the exhibit.
Across the floor was Tiffany Smith’s interactive installation which incorporated plants and wicker chairs, all of which were objects associated with her Carribean upbringing. “The room being filled with plants is symbolic of hurricane prep which often included bringing the plants from outside into the house,” Smith said.
As visitors made their way up the narrow wooden stairs, music could be heard from behind the walls. The echoing music was Daniel Shieh’s installation, entitled Mother’s Anthem, which played a recording of the American Anthem in 30 languages. The languages ranged from Spanish and Italian to Navajo and Bengali.
Each floor was filled with artwork of all mediums, including painting, fibers, collage and photography. Rachel Bussières, who switched her concentration after watching the 2017 solar eclipse, uses varying light sources to produce lumen prints. During the wildfires, she recounted that she “made a new exposure each day to capture the changing air quality”.
Luciana Abait also incorporates the natural world into her pieces, instead using maps. An environmental activist originally from Argentina, Abait’s work highlights “environmental fragility, specifically the impacts it has on immigrants.” Her installation that is currently on display at Maxon Mills, takes the form of a mountain range built solely from maps of the US and Argentina.
Throughout the day, visitors could “Arm Wrestle 4 A Popsicle”. Winners had the choice of 3 playfully flavored trout-inspired popsicles - Nightcrawler, Power Bait, and Salmon Roe. Artist Katie Peck, who spent the day in costume as a rainbow trout, encouraged guests to step up and try their hand at an arm wrestle.
Shibori Indigo dyeing, group meditation, and dance workshops were open for community members of all ages as well.
While the daytime activities fostered appreciation of fixed art, a dance party until midnight at The Lantern Inn offered guests a space for performative art.
When describing the environment of The Wassaic Project, Smith emphasized, “It’s all community, it’s all love.”
A serene scene from the Amenia garden tour.
AMENIA — The much-anticipated annual Amenia Garden Tour drew a steady stream of visitors to admire five local gardens on Saturday, July 13, each one demonstrative of what a green thumb can do. An added advantage was the sense of community as neighbors and friends met along the way.
Each garden selected for the tour presented a different garden vibe. Phantom’s Rock, the garden of Wendy Goidel, offered a rocky terrain and a deep rock pool offering peaceful seclusion and anytime swims. Goidel graciously welcomed visitors and answered questions about the breathtaking setting.
Amenia Finance Director Charlie Miller welcomed visitors to his Bog Hollow Road garden in Wassaic, a manicured expansive yard with well-placed garden beds framing a far-reaching view. He said he plans carefully each winter for the next spring’s improvement.
The organic, environmentally responsible Maitri Farm was next, a lesson in coordinating agriculture with natural balance. The farm stand and a walk among the greenhouses brought visitors together.
Near the center of Amenia was the garden of Polly Pitts-Garvin, offering a chance to visit a robust vegetable garden with raised beds to be envious of and a remarkable absence of any insects or usual vegetable garden problems.
At Chez Cheese, the vast garden acreage surrounding the 1850s historic home of Joan Feeney and Bruce Phillips in Millerton, visitors could begin at refreshment stations where walking tour maps of the 15-acre property were available. There were streams and ponds with docks, and a dozen bridges arranged around the landscape. In the 19th-century, the property had been the home of the Wilson Cheese Factory, inspiring the name of the estate.
The Amenia Garden Tour was supported this year by Paley’s Garden Center in Sharon.
Gary Dodson working a tricky pool on the Schoharie Creek, hoping to lure something other than a rock bass from the depths.
PRATTSVILLE, N.Y. — The Schoharie Creek, a fabled Catskill trout stream, has suffered mightily in recent decades.
Between pressure from human development around the busy and popular Hunter Mountain ski area, serious flooding, and the fact that the stream’s east-west configuration means it gets the maximum amount of sunlight, the cool water required for trout habitat is simply not as available as in the old days.
This is not a new phenomenon. It does seem to be getting worse, though.
Gary Dodson and I convened where the creek makes its final run into the Schoharie reservoir, part of the New York City water supply system, on a semi-broiling Thursday afternoon, July 11.
The goal was simple. Catch smallmouth bass, which abound in the lower section of the river.
This was hot stuff — as in an 80-degree water temperature.
The air temperature was actually slightly less at 77.
After negotiating the intensely slippery rocks, festooned with treacherous algae, the first major pool presented several difficulties, with a back eddy competing with a main flow and several large trees draped about the whole thing.
I hit on the simplest strategy, which was to flip a weighted attractor fly called a Tequilley into the start of the eddy so it would proceed slowly but steadily into the maelstrom, sinking all the while.
This worked. A proper adult smallmouth, with bronze coloring and vertical stripes, took the thing.
The point-and-shoot camera finally died, however, and I was not going to try to fumble my phone out for a nice but routine fish photo.
Why not?
Because I guarantee the fish would have made a sudden, last-moment bolt for freedom, causing me to drop the device into the drink.
Gary moved downstream while I continued trying to annoy the residents of the pool, succeeding a couple of times with different colored Wooly Buggers.
Then we all got bored and I moved off, where Gary was catching rock bass and cussing them out for not being something else.
I have to admit, they are not the most compelling critters. Something about the red eyes.
This latest trip was dominated by extremely tedious and distasteful Harry Homeowner activities, but on both Wednesday and Thursday mornings I prowled Woodland Valley Creek. By “morning” I mean “dawn,” because that was when the water temps were down to a barely acceptable 64.
I made the acquaintance of several stocked browns and of a handful of their wild cousins. The wild fish are smaller and nimbler.
The successful ploy was an Adams wet fly, size 16, drifted behind something big, like a Parachute Adams or Stimulator.