Egg-citing

Some scientific advancements appear obvious but are ignored. Over-sized hen’s eggs, for example. They’ve appeared periodically throughout history. Just as an example, from 1923 as reported in the Bridgeport Telegram:

“Hen in Sharon Lays Five-Ounce Egg.  Andrew J. Wheeler, of Sharon, who is visiting here, has a hen which is a record-breaker in laying eggs. Just before he left home she laid an egg which weighed five ounces, and measured 8 1-2 by 6 3-4 inches in circumference. The egg was on exhibition in Sharon.”

They knew about selective breeding in 1923. Why didn’t Wheeler, a clock and jewelry merchant, see to it that future eggs from that hen were fertilized and start a new brood to encourage subsequent huge eggs? 

Giant eggs would instantly dominate the market, I would think. Instead of having to buy eggs by the dozen, we could buy maybe four eggs. Easier to store. Easier to handle.

Square eggs. Flat-bottomed eggs. Color-coded eggs. Hens have tried them all over the years, part of their unrecognized marketing strategy. But conservative humans are fixated on the traditional egg. 

My wife advises that popular recipes assume use of the medium-sized egg. Substitute one of the large or extra large or jumbo eggs that show up in grocery store coolers, and your cake may turn to concrete.

There are, I admit, other considerations. The hens might not want to exclusively manufacture the 5-ounce eggs. Hard to deliver, after all. There might be work slowdowns. One of those super-big suckers a month is enough, Henny says, don’t expect them every day. If you want big eggs, get an ostrich.

Still, the hens tease. Only three years ago, Popple, a Rhode Island red owned by a schoolgirl in Portsmouth, Hampshire, England, produced a 7-ounce egg, 5 inches tall, to the delight of  one of her caregivers, young Harriet Whitaker, as reported in the Daily Mail for Feb. 28, 2012.

That would make one nice omelet.

The writer is a regular consumer of eggs in most formats.