Facing death and seizing life

SALISBURY — In a speech that was as moving as a poem, Sandy Dennis of Salisbury evoked the beauty of every moment of life when seen through the eyes of one who might soon lose it.

She offered thoughts, memories, encouragement and exhortations at a National Cancer Survivors Day event at the Grove in Lakeville on Tuesday, June 4, hosted by the Salisbury Visiting Nurse Association.

“We are all survivors,” Dennis said, looking around the room,“whether we are 6, 38 or 88, just by remaining alive up to this moment.”

Dennis recounted the path of her own multiple cancer diagnoses, beginning with “just a little breast cancer, an operation to remove it, followed by some radiation and back to my life.

“I moved on.

 “A few years later, a recurrence happens, another medication and life moves along seemingly uneventfully, with another new oral medication.”

It’s never actually uneventful, she said, to anyone who is going through it, even if that’s how it looks from the outside. 

“Then a dreaded recurrence and then double mastectomy followed by chemo infusion, loss of hair and the treatments finally end for a while. 

“My hair grows back, I don’t dare cut it. Another recurrence happens with a metastatic diagnosis stage four, some scary words. A clinical trial medication that fails, and the jumping from one medication to the next ensues. Due to new chemo medications, I cut my hair anticipating its loss and then, yes, another med is needed. 

“This is my current status.”

And while fear and anticipation infused Dennis’ talk, what came through most deeply was the profound realization that every second of life is a treasure, every vision of the glistening lake and the blooming flower and the ski slopes with her grandchildren making their way down from the peak. 

“One of my biggest energy boosts, what puts wind in my sails, is spending time with Liz’s family of four, from the 14 month old to the 8 year old, and on to include their parents. I am keeping my eyes on getting the youngest one on skis this winter, as then they will all be skiing.”

Dennis spoke not just to cancer survivors or cancer patients or the nurses and doctors who help them continue on their path.  She spoke to the community as a whole, recalling the life of Jane Lloyd, who grew up in Salisbury and died young of breast cancer. A fund was started in her memory that helps patients pay their everyday living costs while they are undergoing treatment. 

She remembered seeing Jane moving around town with “her great smile and long, flowing red hair, like I once had.”

Lloyd was a beloved person, missed by many. But Dennis pointed out that every life lost to cancer leaves a hole in the hearts of family and friends. Cancer isn’t just painful for patients. And it isn’t just cancer patients who can appreciate the gifts of each moment. Everyone can and should. 

“I try to squeeze like a sponge every drop of love, understanding and deep honesty, sharing each day moment by moment.”

She referred to a simple drawing by Pablo Picasso, showing two hands around a bouquet of flowers. It’s impossible to say who is giving the blooms and who is receiving it, she said. 

“It demonstrates so well the exchange of that heartfelt care between people, where that me turns to we.”