Gentle man of the jury

“The wheels of justice grind exceeding slow” is a popular version of “The wheels of justice grind slowly, but exceedingly fine.” However you say it, you may notice the words justice and slow appear in both versions. I can testify to that.Take jury duty. Arriving on day two of my obligation (they did not want us on Monday), at 12:30 p.m., per phone instruction, reporting subpoena clutched in hand, filled out according to the written instructions on the back, I find that I must now sit while the majority of the 100-plus respondents slowly fill theirs out with line-by-line instruction from our group leader. It seems pretty straightforward, but there are still a fair number of “If-if-if, uhhh, I don’t have a regular work schedule,” type of questions, each of which must be individually addressed while the rest of the group waits.We now receive a general overview of the court system, why we are here, how happy they are that we are here, even if we are not, and why this is going to take a while. OK, done for today. We have now put in a grueling hour-and-a-half.Day three, again at 12:30 p.m., involves learning how to sign in and collect our proof of attendance papers. We must look exhausted because they send us home again after only an hour.Skip to Monday. Report at 9 a.m.! Now we’re getting somewhere. We sign in and sit around for a while, then are sent home at 11:30 a.m. Seems the court is not ready for us.On day five I finally meet the judge, the defendants and the prosecutor. I am sworn to tell the truth, and I learn I am in the first batch to be questioned for actual jury duty. There are 23 of us. The rest sit and watch as some are knocked out due to scheduling conflicts (he has to go on vacation next week) and some due to health issues. Being sick and tired of the process does not qualify.Anyway, we all get to tell about ourselves and any stuff that might disqualify us while the judge and the attorneys take notes. It is amazing how many people are related to, or are good friends with, someone in law enforcement. This is not a plus in our criminal case. I get two strikes and am sent home. I have served a grand total of 15-and-one-half hours over the course of seven days. It is not clear if I get half pay for partial days. I’m done, but they are not. It boggles the mind.I have one problem. They made me swear to tell the truth, but forgot to un-swear me. How long does it take for this oath thing to wear off?Bill Abrams has been sworn to live an honest life in Pine Plains.