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I do not talk to cereal boxes (yet, anyway)

In the supermarket the other day, I was looking at the ingredients of sugar-frosted-honey-bombs-with-freeze-dried-strawberries (leading ingredient corn, followed by corn sweetener) and there it was, the new media world all wrapped up in one sentence: “If you enjoyed our product, follow us on Twitter and Facebook!” It was not a question, it was a command. So I spent a little time going over the other items making their way into our monthly big shop. (There’s a geezer day at our local supermarket, for which I qualify, 10 percent off, so we tend to fill up several carts in one big shop.) Dole wanted me to follow the melons on Facebook, Dawn wanted me to check out their website and Facebook, the butter company wanted me to comment on MySpace and Pedigree wanted me to sign up the dogs on Twitter “to get the latest health information” (as if the dogs could read) and post my “Pedigree dogs” favorite videos on YouTube. I didn’t even know the dogs were making videos.Now look, I know it is a good idea for manufacturers to promote their wares, and I am sure that Facebook and Twitter are useful in the same way as “mail in the can label to get 50 free recipes” was to Campbell’s in the 1950s, but come on, do I really need to get a stream of messages on Twitter from Scoop Away cat litter? How many variations on “making toast in GE’s toaster oven” on Facebook do I need or care about? We’re getting swamped in trivia and these new advertising/word-of-mouth promotions are flooding the social networks we have all come to rely on to stay in touch with friends.Ford is not much better. If you buy a car from them, they take your email address and, presto, you’ve got a Ford friend on Facebook. What’s worse, they hook you up with friends of friends of friends in your neighborhood. The presumption being that if you have a Ford, you want to know all the other Ford people near you, so you can bond, share tips, mate, or something. Chevy and Fiat/Chrysler lag behind, but wait for it, by the time you read this, they will have already adapted, coming to a Twitter, Flickr, My Space, LinkedIn, Ning, Tagged, ClassMates, Hi5, MyYearBook, MeetUp, Bebo, MyLife, Friendster, MyHeritage, Multiply or Orkut near you. These are the most popular social networking sites. Are you already as confused as I am?It is all moving with the speed of light. The newest thing is to send text messages, short, Twitter-trained clips of bon mots, meant to entice you to eat at Joe’s because “the next 1,000 customers get a free beer with every order.” Rush on over! Show them the coupon on your smart phone and the beer is yours.Speaking of Twitter’s clipped phraseology, there could be a dictionary word for a panic disorder at having just 140 characters: Twitterphobia? Maybe they will expanSorry, ran out of characters. Peter Riva, formerly of Amenia Union, lives in New Mexico.

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