Role model: The man of La Mancha

He sees life not as it is, but as it OUGHT to be.

— “Man of La Mancha�

I don’t much like watching the news on TV. I can find all the tragedy I need right around here without the latest bus crash in Chile or murder-suicide in California. I have a theory that the reason so many people suffer from depression has to do with their taking on the grief of the world. Note that your weekly newspaper focuses on local events and accentuates the positive side of life, something the rest of the media could stand more of.

Most of my interests revolve around activities that I can control to a large degree: model railroading, painting miniatures, reading, old movies on TV, and making those little pizzas in the oven. I avoid outdoor stuff that requires good weather. This eliminates all kinds of disappointments.

One very important characteristic that all of my activities have in common is that they involve time-consuming, tedious, repetitive tasks. This makes time just crawl by. While this does not actually increase your life span, it sure makes it seem like you are living longer.

u      u      u

Getting older has an inherent advantage. When you sign up for AARP, you get secret instructions about what you can get away with now. Sometimes I don’t hear so good or I can’t walk that far. It just depends.

I am puzzled by people that continue learning into their 60s and 70s. We hear inspirational stories about senior citizens going back to school to start a whole new career in law, medicine or space exploration (OK, maybe the space thing was a Simpsons episode).

I am having enough trouble finding ways to use all the stuff that they made me learn when I was younger. If I keep learning more stuff, I will never have time to use the other stuff.

Some of the things I have finally found a use for include algebra (determined the speed of the lawn mower blade that shot the rock into the window), plane geometry (height of the trees in my yard so I can tell which ones will hit the house when they fall), chemistry (mix bleach and something or other when cleaning and it makes deadly chlorine gas), Spanish 1, 2, 3 and 4 (I can sometimes tell what Desi Arnaz is saying to Lucy, but not often) and gym (too much exercise can make you throw up).

Uh, oh. The dog needs to be walked. Take care of that will you? My old football injury seems to be acting up (I twisted my ankle while running for more dip during a commercial).

Bill Abrams resides (and keeps plenty busy) in Pine Plains.