Should actors be role models?

Picture this: a televised sitcom that casts a real-life cokehead that once (at a young age) shot his girlfriend in the leg and grew up to set a record of spending on prostitutes to the extent where his testimony is used to convict their “Madame,� Heidi Fleiss. Then, over the years, there’s more drug addiction and two Mercedes dumped into Los Angeles ravines. Later, he’s found holding a knife to the throat of his third wife (three women actually married him) as he threatened to kill her. Add that to the recent destruction of a Plaza Hotel suite while his latest terrified female companion locked herself in the bathroom. Meanwhile, his second wife and two little daughters occupied a suite in the same hotel. Incredible!

Think of it, art imitates life when this mentally unstable perp gets to film a situation comedy depicting his unique lifestyle. Yup, ole Charlie Sheen gets a million-and-a-half bucks per episode for “Two and a Half Men.� The plot thins! It’s a story about his brother and the brother’s son (his nephew) coming to live in Charlie’s Malibu beach house. HALP! Is there a social worker in the audience? A child in the same house with Charlie? Throw in a mother/grandma that spends more time on her back than Michelangelo did while painting the Sistene Chapel and you get the total image of whorehouse satire. Hey, the show could very well be taped at a “ranch� in Nevada.

A young boy under the same roof with that unstable crowd? This kid’s not being raised ­— he’s being lowered. Another character in the show is the boy’s father, played by Jon Cryer (aptly named), who plays to the mime act of a Felix Unger look-alike from Neil Simon’s “The Odd Couple.�

Recently, I witnessed a televised discussion of therapists that seemed to allow for Sheen’s behavior by simply describing him as an “actor.� His transgressions are a death knell in the world of politics, and the educational system won’t tolerate it from their professors. Yup, there’s another world out there beyond Beverly Hills and Malibu, and it won’t allow for dangerous cokeheads in its midst. Ya gotta be an actor to get away with that stuff. Pity that poor actor, John Wilkes Booth, who was born too soon.

Booth assassinated President Lincoln, but he did it back in the day before upscale television money. Mister Sheen’s no Lawrence Olivier (who never really scored major bucks), but his wealth and the entourage of lawyers and handlers surrounding him will keep him out of orange-colored jumpsuits and life with a cellmate named Bruno. Makes one wonder what would have happened to that other actor, Booth, in today’s TV marketplace. He shot a president? Okay, Malibu for drug treatment and an anger management course, that should straighten him out.

Eventually, Charlie will appear on Letterman, Leno, Stewart, Kimmel, King, etc. Everybody kind of kids around with him and tells jokes at his, and his victims’, expense. There’ll be a series of guest shots, publicity for a TV character whose personal character is in meltdown, and “Two and a Half Men� will experience a ratings increase. Hey, compassion for this troubled man wouldn’t increase the ratings. Prime-time marches on.

A man with terrible emotional instability with drugs and major issues of violence toward women will become part of the talk show circuit’s quest for ratings with his “handlers� running the show. Sad. No help. This poor guy’s on an obvious path of self-destruction, and he’ll become part of the “man bites dog� news story on the entertaining nighttime-TV circuit.

An insensitive lack of compassion but a real crowd-pleaser, or, as H.L. Mencken said a hundred years ago, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence [I’ll say ‘taste’ with apologies to Mencken] of the American public.�

Bill Lee is a cartoonist who lives in Sharon and New York City.

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