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So just buzz off

It snowed the other day and this time it stuck. It was also of a depth sufficient for that endangered species, the snowmobiler. Once abundant in this region, the last 40 years has seen a gradual decline in their numbers. A couple of them roared through my yard one morning, interrupting a nice, lazy sleep-in. Oddly, you cannot protect your domain by stringing wire. Some kind of picky law about mantraps.For those of you not familiar, a snowmobiler is a person that races over the snow on a machine using skis in the front and a revolving belt in the rear. Sometimes this belt is studded with spikes. I think you see this more in Alaska where this version is sometimes used to settle with old boyfriends. At least that is what my brother says, and he should know because he is one — a snowmobiler, I mean. In his case it is necessity that drives him. Many of the villages that he has worked in over the years did not have actual roads. In the winter, which I gather is about eight out of 12 months up there, it is the only practical way to get around. It also has the additional feature of being faster than a bear.Anyway, after the recent snow I saw something I hadn’t seen in years right here in town. It was a snowmobile roaring across the urban tundra. Actually it is more of an angry buzzing, but I wouldn’t mention this around a ’biler. There he or she went. You can’t tell which because of the voluminous snow suit and dark helmet worn to shield them from the cold. Personally, I am not much for activities that require suiting up fit for a spacewalk. If I wanted to freeze at speed I would just roll the car window down until I couldn’t stand it anymore, then roll it up. This eliminates fighting your way out of that cumbersome suit when the cold accelerates calls of nature.So I watched him/her for a couple of minutes. Then I realized something; he/she was snow locked, stuck in a patch of ground bordered by roads which had been plowed and salted leaving a surface totally unsuited, even destructive, to their delicate drive mechanisms. Buzz, buzz, buzz, around and around he/she went. This must get old pretty fast. It kind of reminded me of those fish that get trapped in little pools when the water in the stream goes down.They have pretty much all gone north now. One day they may be back, at least if all that talk about another ice age has any validity. Nonetheless, I will stick to my nice warm car and that roll up window.Bill Abrams resides, snow and all, in Pine Plains.

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