Sorry, you’ve misspoken

Misspoken terms have been around a long time, but it seems to me there was a definite surge around the time those guys started wearing their baseball caps backwards. Coincidence? I think not. Let’s look at some of the worst offenders.“Jury rigged” was a naval term for an adlib repair using nonstandard supplies to replace an important part that had been damaged, usually by storm or combat. “Jerry rigged” seems to have a similar meaning, although I do not know where the name Jerry came from.Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist in the 1940s and 1950s who specialized in incredibly convoluted and complicated contraptions made from common household items to do a simple task, like trap a mouse. “Rube rigged” would make more sense.In Alaska, I am told by my brother, they do a lot of jerry rigging with wire and duct tape. This makes me a bit nervous about that pipeline thing.A “moot point” is one that is not relevant. A “mute point” would be one that is not voiced, so is ineffective. Kind of the same thing.“Nip it in the bud” refers to snipping off a bud before it can bloom, thus preventing it maturing and having its full effect. “Nip it in the butt” is more a distraction meant to divert someone from their original purpose or get attention. My dog does this a lot.The correct form of “for all intensive purposes” is “for all intents and purposes.” Either way, this is a copout phrase. Only politicians should be using this.“Could of” for “could have,” “orientated” for “oriented” and “irregardless for “regardless” — they’re all just plain wrong, with the possible exception of “irregardless,” which, like “inflammable,” could be considered an emphatic form of the original word. Sort of like in German where you have “ja” for “yes” and “jawohl” for “yes!” This is the form they always use in those U-boat movies when the captain says to fire a torpedo.Confusion “reigns,” “rains” or “reins” — all are correct. If it reigns, it is in charge, which kind of means no one is in charge. If it rains, then confusion is showering down on everything, creating havoc. Reins indicates that what should be the controls are actually causing loss of control. This has been known to happen when someone that I shall not name gets their horse’s reins crossed. Dale Carnegie taught that speech was communication and to not worry too much about what is correct or incorrect, as long as you get your meaning across. To this I say, “oh yeah? Well then you’ve got another thing coming!” Bill Abrams resides, and chooses his words carefully, in Pine Plains.