Take that, you bully!

Humans love to posture. A favorite pastime is the physical confrontation in which participants close their personal distance to inches, down from the 3-foot zone customary in Western Civilization. Occasionally you get a “close talker,” but mostly people respect that personal zone until they get belligerent. If you are not expecting the advance, it can be quite disconcerting, resulting in an involuntary step back as you attempt to re-establish your distance. This is what the other guy wants, for it is a sign that he is dominating. There is a downside. If you don’t move, he crashes into you and you wind up talking with your faces about 3 inches apart. In this case, you win because he can’t maintain this distance and will almost always take a reluctant step backward. Now’s your chance. Take a quick step forward. Isn’t this fun?Did you notice the similarity with international relations? There are a lot of countries that enjoy posturing as the “biggest and baddest” in their neighborhood. You need to stand up to them, and sometimes somebody gets hurt. Instead of closing personal distance between countries, a physical impossibility, they substitute marshaling their military along the border, often making huge displays of might that are euphemistically referred to as “training exercises.” If the countries themselves are not strong enough to get their own way, they resort to the kid’s expedient, the equivalent of “My old man can beat up your old man.” The old man, in this case, is usually the United States, China or Russia.Other postures that countries and people have in common include, “Got any spare change?” “Stay out of my yard” and “Leave my friend alone.” It is amazing how one country can make another country feel guilty about being successful, thereby wheedling a handout. The implied threat is that if you don’t give them something, they will damage your country’s windshield or scratch the paint job.Bullies are usually happy with abject submission. Then they don’t get their hair mussed or break any fingers beating you up. Many animals are just like this … or is it the other way around? Anyway, my dog loves to charge out into the yard when he detects an intruder. His favorites are the possums, as they immediately go into frozen mode, whereupon my dog stands over them, sniffing carefully and savoring his dominance. No damage. Win, win. Cats sometimes stand and fight. This is not what he really had in mind, but he will play if he has to. Usually somebody gets hurt when this happens.Well, the bullies won’t bother me. I am their friend. I just gave them a big loan so they can upgrade all of their bully stuff.Take that! Bill Abrams resides and guards his personal space in Pine Plains.