A Teen and Her Mom Go to the Movies

went to see the new Amy Schumer film, “Trainwreck,” with my 16- year-old daughter Abbey, and then we discussed the film via Facebook instant message. This is a lightly edited transcript of our chat.

Jenny: In “Trainwreck,” comedian Amy Schumer plays “Amy,” a writer for a lad magazine who has taken to heart the lesson her dad taught her as a child: “monogamy is unrealistic.” 

First things first: do you think Amy Schumer is a good role model for young women?

Abbey: Definitely. The way she talks openly about sex and female sexuality helps to remove the stigma. Also, she’s hilarious.

Jenny: But she drinks and smokes pot and swears and has sex with a lot of men! That can’t possibly be good for young impressionable people such as yourself!

Abbey: But she isn’t put down for doing what she wants, and that’s really what left an impression on me.  

Jenny: Some of my very favorite scenes were the ones between Aaron (Bill Hader), the sports doctor she reluctantly falls in love with, and his buddy LeBron James, (played by LeBron James) who is his advisor and shoulder to cry on, like any best friend in a good chick flick. I knew Hader would be funny, but James steals the show.

Abbey: I loved when he asked Amy about her intentions. I was practically in tears laughing, and he kept a completely straight face. Vanessa Bayer as Amy’s coworker was also hilarious. She makes a very good dorky friend.

Jenny: And as their editor at “S’nuff,” a men’s magazine that runs articles like “Are You Gay or Is She Just Boring?” Tilda Swinton was pretty great too.

Jenny: I’m a fan of Schumer’s TV show, so I knew the movie would be filthy and funny, but I didn’t expect how heartfelt and serious it could also be, both in the scenes with her sister and father, who suffers from MS, and as Amy’s relationship with Aaron deepens and gets complicated.  

Abbey: Yeah, I definitely felt Amy’s despair at losing her father, and his funeral scene was beautiful while still showing how funny she is.

Jenny: True, though I sometimes felt the serious scenes dragged. I was impatient for another volley of jokes and outlandish sex scenes. Everything you need to know about sex but were afraid to ask.

Abbey: Totally!  As a (moderately wise) 16-year-old, I thought that it perfectly showed the details of having a sex life without being porn.

Jenny: Schumer really conveys what it’s like from the woman’s point of view — exaggerated for comic effect — specifically an empowered woman who speaks up for what she wants and isn’t afraid to leave a situation when it gets uncomfortable or weird. She may be many things but she’s not passive. As a mom I appreciate that life lesson for young women.

Abbey: I also like the way her career was shown. She was smart and ambitious and a good writer, but she still wore short skirts and heels to work. Her femininity wasn’t sacrificed or downplayed in order for her to be intelligent and hard working.

Jenny: Without giving away any spoilers, what did you think of the ending?

Abbey:  I thought it was great! It simultaneously made fun of cheesy endings while also being a cliché in an adorable and funny way.

Jenny: Hmm. I was wondering if it was making fun of the cheesiness or just being cheesy. In the “boy-loses-girl” sad-music montage when Aaron and Amy were separately gazing soulfully into the distance or watching the movie they’d watched so happily together (which, by the way, was brilliant: a black and white flick with Daniel Radcliffe as a brooding dog walker) I thought it embraced the cliché a little too much. But I was still happy when they got back together at the end - Hader’s character was kind of of the perfect guy.

So you think it’s OK for teens to see this movie? 

Abbey: Yeah totally!  Amy Schumer is my idol.  She is a flawless human.

“Trainwreck, written by and starring Amy Schumer and directed by Judd Apatow, is playing widely. It is rated R for sexual content, nudity, language and drug use.

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