Vampire, Protect Me

The second installment of the so-called Twilight Saga is a lazy, shapeless mess that will nevertheless please the legions of young girls and women who thrill to the notion that a beautiful, powerful man (or vampire, or werewolf) will love them eternally, despite all their human flaws, and will protect them from everything dangerous, including themselves.

   It more or less faithfully sticks to the plot of the book, in which Bella (Kristen Stewart) is a high school student who loves Edward (Robert Pattinson), a vampire, and to her amazement, he loves her back. Bitten in 1918, when he was 17 years old, he is doomed to repeat high school over and over but has never found true love before.

   Bella is also  fond of Jacob (Taylor Lautner), a Quileute Indian with a secret of his own. Their love triangle plays out in the lush green forests, mountains and beaches of Forks, WA, where Edward and his family, the Cullens, live because it’s cloudy - they can go out during the day as long as they stay out of the sun.

   Bella is desperate for Edward to transform her into a vampire too, because with every passing day she becomes older, while Edward never ages. Soon, she fears, she will become withered and even more unlovable than she feels now.

   Edward, however, only wants what’s best for Bella, and so he leaves her. (Yes, he’s that kind of boyfriend.) She descends into deep depression, until she realizes that if she takes a crazy risk, Edward will appear to warn her to stay safe. While she’s manufacturing danger for herself (riding motorcycles, diving off cliffs), she is in more peril from the freelance vampires still stalking her since the last installment: Laurent and Victoria. In the absence of Edward, a new monster comes to her defense, a mysterious gigantic wolf and his brothers.

   All of this, and Bella’s anguished relationship with the adoring Jacob, takes more than two hours to tell, mostly because of interminable scenes involving gazing, mumbling, longing, kissing (or more accurately, kissus interruptus) and lots of scowling.  In between are plenty of opportunities for  buff young men to take their shirts off — Bella can’t tear her eyes away from Jacob’s pecs and biceps in the many scenes in which they take center stage. Edward’s, when he finally reappears, can’t measure up in sheer size, but he makes up for that with sparkle.

   More sparkle, along with a little light and color, is added near the end when Bella suddenly jets off to Italy, where she must confront the Volturi, the high priests of the vampire world. Entertainingly played by Michael Sheen, who channels a bit of Caligula-era John Hurt, and Dakota Fanning, who fixes her bulbous red eyes on her victims and shoots rays of pain at them, the volturi are on the verge of decapitating Edward. In one of the movie’s few departures from the book, there is a battle in addition to the lengthy and exceedingly dull negotiation that ultimately allows Bella and Edward to return unharmed to the murky green forest to continue their long dance of “change me!â€� “no, it’s not good for youâ€�  for another two installments.

   Stewart is an understated and subtle actress, but can do little to add any spark of interest to literature’s dullest heroine. Pattinson, absurdly made up with white skin and red lips, has little to do other than look pained and miserable, and he makes the most of it.  Lautner flashes his brilliant white smile and flexes his muscles, and is convincing as the heat to Edward’s chill. But nothing this trio does can make up for the ludicrous dialogue, and logical lapses and droopy pace. Not that anyone who chooses to see this film will care.

Latest News

Classifieds - October 23, 2025

Help Wanted

Weatogue Stables has an opening: for a full time team member. Experienced and reliable please! Must be available weekends. Housing a possibility for the right candidate. Contact Bobbi at 860-307-8531.

Services Offered

Hector Pacay Service: House Remodeling, Landscaping, Lawn mowing, Garden mulch, Painting, Gutters, Pruning, Stump Grinding, Chipping, Tree work, Brush removal, Fence, Patio, Carpenter/decks, Masonry. Spring and Fall Cleanup. Commercial & Residential. Fully insured. 845-636-3212.

Keep ReadingShow less
School spirit on the rise at Housy

Students dressed in neon lined the soccer field for senior night under the lights on Thursday, Oct. 16. The game against Lakeview was the last in a series of competitions Thursday night in celebration of Homecoming 2025.

Hunter Conklin and Danny Lesch

As homecoming week reaches its end and fall sports finish out the season, an air of school spirit and student participation seems to be on the rise across Housatonic Valley Regional High School.

But what can be attributed to this sudden peak of student interest? That’s largely due to SGA. Also known as the Student Government Association, SGA has dedicated itself to creating events to bring the entire student body together. This year, they decided to change some traditions.

Keep ReadingShow less
Student initiatives shake up Homecoming
The poster promoting the Homecoming dance boasted the event would feature dancing, games and a bonfire. Reactions to the planned move outside were mixed, with some students excited about the changes and others expressing a desire for tradition.
Provided

The weekend of Homecoming at HVRHS was packed with events including rival games under the lights, senior night, and a new take on Homecoming that moves it outside — and it wouldn’t have been possible without the students of Housatonic.

Orchestrating was no easy feat, especially considering much of the work was left up to the students.

Keep ReadingShow less
Housy takes on Halloween
Housatonic Valley Regional High School
File photo

As the chilly breeze settles in, Halloween approaches and the community yearns for spooky festivities — HVRHS has answered that calling. An event held annually for the past eight years, the HVRHS haunted house has returned.

The event is organized by the current senior and junior year classes — 2026 and 2027 respectively — and held to raise money that goes toward the junior and senior class’s activities such as senior week, prom, the senior class trip, and more.

Keep ReadingShow less