Coping with the aftermath of suicide

No one will ever know exactly why 59-year-old Dean Pierson walked into his barn in Copake on Jan. 21 and killed 51 of his 100 dairy cows with a single shot to each of their heads. And no one will ever know exactly why he then sat down and apparently shot himself in the head, ending a life that had followed the ups and downs of the dairy business in America.

It is suspected, though, that his suicide was related to a severe downturn in business at his dairy farm. Condolences from all over America have been sent to the peckandpeck.net funeral home Web site. There are messages from Texas, New Mexico, Missouri, North Carolina, Wisconsin. They all say that, as farmers, they were deeply touched by the story of the struggle and hopelessness of a fellow farmer.

All offer their heartfelt best wishes to the farmer’s wife, sons and 92-year-old mother.

They also agree that the surviving family members cannot blame themselves for the death. One message recommends contacting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in New York City; the family has also requested that memorial donations be sent to the foundation.

“Suicide is something that people don’t talk about openly, but it affects a lot more people than you realize,†said Joanne Harpel, director of survivor initiatives for the foundation.

She stressed that there is probably nothing the family could have done to prevent Pierson’s death.

“People who are left behind struggle so much with the questions: Why did this happen? Was there something I said or didn’t say, something I did or didn’t do? All of those questions are a common part of bereavement after suicide,†she said.

It’s important for the surviving family members to realize that a person’s suicide is more about an internal struggle than about outside events, she said.

She did not know Pierson and did not speculate on why he took his own life.

But, she said,“More than 90 percent of people who take their own lives have some kind of psychiatric illness at the time of death.† These illnesses can include depression, bipolar disease and schizophrenia.

“When people die by suicide, it’s often a complication of an underlying illness, which may not have been diagnosed or treated appropriately,†Harpel said.  

“Suicide doesn’t come out of the blue,†she stressed. “It’s not simply a response to somone going through a difficult time. People don’t just lose their jobs and kill themselves; suicide is not the natural outcome of difficult life events.â€

For the survivors, it’s important to understand that a suicide is usually a death that is connected to an illness. This is not, however, an easy leap for most survivors to make.

Harpel said that she is herself a survivor of the suicide of a family member; her brother killed himself in 1993. “And he, like almost everyone who takes their own life, had a psychiatric illness — in his case, bipolar disorder,†she said.

One service offered by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, she said, is to connect bereaved families with trained survivors, as part of the Survivor Outreach Program.

“This helps them understand that they’re not alone,†she said.

To learn more, go online to afsp. org, or call 1-888-333-AFSP (2377).