Thank you!
Your support is sustaining the future of local news in our communities.

It may just be a judgment call

“Judge not, lest ye be judged”. “I’m not judging you”. “Don’t be judgmental”.

From biblical times up to present day sitting in judgment of others has never been a path to popularity (Judges Wapner and Judy notwithstanding). Many wear as a badge of honor that they don’t question someone’s motives or decisions. That they don’t judge people. And those who do are unfair and biased. Blindly declaring that “I’m all in” is more often seen as a courageous show of support rather than an unthinking foray into the unknown. Is operating in a judgment-free zone a good idea? Is it even possible?

Ok, I’ll admit it. I am judging you. And you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re not judging me. Perhaps you’re in denial because you refused to acknowledge your Myers-Briggs “personality”. Sure, they told you that it was “completely voluntary” and “doesn’t really mean anything”. Then a ‘J’ (judging) ended up in your personality type and it hung around your neck like a lead-weighted character flaw. “But I’m not judgmental and bossy . . . actually I’m a very sensitive and caring person”.  A painful reminder to use better — judgment — the next time you’re asked to answer personal questions that “really don’t mean anything.”

Judgment, like luck, comes in two flavors: good and bad. They say that experience is the best teacher and good judgment comes from experience but the best experience comes from exercising bad judgment. So it’s complicated.

Gaining wisdom and insight, while important for personal growth, is not straightforward and can be downright dangerous to yourself and others. Some people use the expression “in my humble opinion” or the acronym IMHO in an attempt to deflect the judgmental tag. This is a losing strategy. No truly humble person would use the expression and the acronym just makes it more irritating.

Can a judgmental person and an accepting person be the same person? That’s really the issue isn’t it. In our society it is an acute moral failing if we are “judged” as a person who is unaccepting of others. Interesting that in this case being “judged” as an unaccepting person is somehow acceptable.

As you probably guessed my comments are a reaction to being “accused” of being too judgmental. Changing radio stations in the car from the passenger seat? Assuming “responsibility” for the TV remote? Controlling maybe, but judgmental?

“I’m not accusing you, it’s a fact!”

A fact? Hey, I’ll be the judge of that.

 

M. A. Duca is a resident of Twin Lakes narrowly focused on everyday life.

The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

Ashley Falls man charged with murder after body found at home

Cole Bushnell, 41, of Ashley Falls is arraigned on one count of murder at Southern Berkshire District Court June 2. He is being held without bail.

Madi Long

SHEFFIELD – An Ashley Falls, Massachusetts, man is being held without bail after prosecutors alleged he killed a Connecticut man whose body was later discovered on his property.

Cole Bushnell, 41, was arraigned Tuesday in Southern Berkshire District Court on one count of murder, according to the Berkshire District Attorney's Office.

Keep ReadingShow less
Book lovers flock to opening day of Kent library sale

Business is brisk at the opening day of the Kent Memorial Library's used book sale May 22

Ruth Epstein

KENT – The Kent Memorial Library’s popular used book sale drew eager shoppers on opening day Friday, May 22despite being held in a new location this year.

With the library’s North Main Street building undergoing a major renovation, the sale has temporarily moved to the library’s quarters on Landmark Lane in the Kent Shopping Center, thanks to property owner John Casey.

Keep ReadingShow less
Eric Sloane’s vision of early America preserved in Kent museum

Andrew Rowand, curator and site administrator at the Eric Sloane Museum, gives a talk at recent 'People and Places of Kent' event.

Ruth Epstein

KENT – Visitors to the latest “People and Places in Kent” program got a behind-the-scenes look at one of the town’s most notable attractions when Eric Sloane Museum curator and site administrator Andrew Rowand spoke about the museum’s history, collections and namesake.

The presentation, sponsored by the Kent Senior Center and Kent Historical Society, explored the legacy of Eric Sloane, the artist, author and collector whose passion for preserving early American tools and traditions led to the creation of Connecticut’s first state-funded museum. Located on Route 7 north of the village, the museum has welcomed visitors since 1969 and is now designated a National Historic Landmark.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

Early morning Kent crash sends car into ditch, disrupts traffic on Rt. 341

A blue SUV remains in a ditch after an early-morning crash along Segar Mountain Road in Kent May 27.

Ruth Epstein

KENT – A driver escaped with minor injuries after an SUV crashed into a utility pole and water line before rolling into a ditch along Segar Mountain Road early Wednesday morning, May 27, disrupting traffic for much of the day and affecting water service to a nearby residence.

The single-vehicle crash occurred around 4:30 a.m. near 36 Segar Mountain Road, just under half a mile east of the intersection with South Kent Road. State police said the blue SUV struck the pole, went over a guardrail and came to stop in a roadside ditch.

Keep ReadingShow less

Pauline King Garfield

Pauline King Garfield

EAST CANAAN — Pauline K. (King) Garfield, 94 of 77 South Canaan Rd. formerly of East Canaan, died Sunday May 24, 2026, at Geer Village.She was the wife of the late Duane Garfield who passed August 14, 2017. Pauline was born April 3, 1932 in North Canaan, CT in the former Geer Hospital. She was the daughter of the late Charles and Rose (Van Vlack) King.

Pauline spent her career at Becton Dickinson in Canaan, after being a stay-at-home mother for many years.She was employed at Becton Dickinson for 23 years. She enjoyed bus trips with her late husband Duane to the Casinos, spending time with her family watching the grandchildren grow up. Recently she made a comment to care givers that was “wait until I see that husband of mine for leaving me here, I am going to read him the riot act.” Over the years she enjoyed many crafts, but her favorite was crocheting gifts for everyone.

Keep ReadingShow less
A blessing for pets — and a lifeline for their health
Lazarus, a Eurasian eagle owl, poses with Dr. Laura, his longtime handler. The rescue raptor — known as the event’s “wow factor” for his striking presence and six-foot wingspan — will appear as the Raptor Ambassador at Rhinebeck’s Blessing of the Animals.
provided

For many pet owners, animals are family. On Saturday, May 30, that bond will be celebrated in a uniquely practical and heartfelt way when the Blessing of the Animals returns to Third Lutheran Evangelical Church in Rhinebeck alongside a free rabies vaccination clinic hosted by Hudson Valley Animal Rescue & Sanctuary.

The event, scheduled from noon to 4 p.m., is free for Dutchess County residents and open to dogs, cats and domestic ferrets three months and older. While the clinic itself provides an important public health service, organizers say the day has become about much more than vaccinations.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.