Thank you!
Your support is sustaining the future of local news in our communities.

It may just be a judgment call

“Judge not, lest ye be judged”. “I’m not judging you”. “Don’t be judgmental”.

From biblical times up to present day sitting in judgment of others has never been a path to popularity (Judges Wapner and Judy notwithstanding). Many wear as a badge of honor that they don’t question someone’s motives or decisions. That they don’t judge people. And those who do are unfair and biased. Blindly declaring that “I’m all in” is more often seen as a courageous show of support rather than an unthinking foray into the unknown. Is operating in a judgment-free zone a good idea? Is it even possible?

Ok, I’ll admit it. I am judging you. And you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re not judging me. Perhaps you’re in denial because you refused to acknowledge your Myers-Briggs “personality”. Sure, they told you that it was “completely voluntary” and “doesn’t really mean anything”. Then a ‘J’ (judging) ended up in your personality type and it hung around your neck like a lead-weighted character flaw. “But I’m not judgmental and bossy . . . actually I’m a very sensitive and caring person”.  A painful reminder to use better — judgment — the next time you’re asked to answer personal questions that “really don’t mean anything.”

Judgment, like luck, comes in two flavors: good and bad. They say that experience is the best teacher and good judgment comes from experience but the best experience comes from exercising bad judgment. So it’s complicated.

Gaining wisdom and insight, while important for personal growth, is not straightforward and can be downright dangerous to yourself and others. Some people use the expression “in my humble opinion” or the acronym IMHO in an attempt to deflect the judgmental tag. This is a losing strategy. No truly humble person would use the expression and the acronym just makes it more irritating.

Can a judgmental person and an accepting person be the same person? That’s really the issue isn’t it. In our society it is an acute moral failing if we are “judged” as a person who is unaccepting of others. Interesting that in this case being “judged” as an unaccepting person is somehow acceptable.

As you probably guessed my comments are a reaction to being “accused” of being too judgmental. Changing radio stations in the car from the passenger seat? Assuming “responsibility” for the TV remote? Controlling maybe, but judgmental?

“I’m not accusing you, it’s a fact!”

A fact? Hey, I’ll be the judge of that.

 

M. A. Duca is a resident of Twin Lakes narrowly focused on everyday life.

The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

Recovery underway after July 4 storms devastate Northwest Corner

Ben Blackwell directs traffic in Salisbury as motorists navigate road closures caused by fallen trees.

Patrick L. Sullivan

This is a developing story.

After a series of extreme storms pummeled the Northwest Corner late July 4, communities are picking up the pieces and offering support to those affected by blocked roads, downed power lines, and power and water outages.

Keep ReadingShow less
Storms rip through Northwest Corner on July 4, stranding travelers, closing roads and knocking out power

A blocked road on Route 41 in Salisbury looking north at Cobble Road.

Patrick L. Sullivan

Updated July 5, 10:00 a.m.

What began as a picture-perfect Independence Day took an abrupt turn Saturday evening, as powerful thunderstorms and possible microbursts swept across the Northwest Corner, bringing down trees and power lines, closing roads and leaving many residents unable to reach home.

Keep ReadingShow less
Kent's Fourth of July plans change due to heat, potential storms

The Veteran’s Memorial is set to receive a new plaque commemorating Kent’s 44 known Revolutionary War servicemen. The stone will be displayed throughout the weekend’s USA 250 celebrations.

Alec Linden

KENT – Kent organizers made last-minute changes to the town's Independence Day celebrations due to extreme heat and possible storms, bringing some activities inside and making slight changes to the parade. Fireworks at Lake Waramaug are planned as scheduled.

Members of the town’s USA 250 Subcommittee made the changes during a July 1 after the National Weather Service issued an extreme heat warning. With temperatures expected to reach the low to mid-90s, Gov. Ned Lamont also activated Connecticut's Extreme Hot Weather Protocol on Tuesday, which remains in effect through Sunday.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

E. Jean Carroll backs out of book-signing event at Hotchkiss Library for safety reasons

The Hotchkiss Library of Sharon will host its 28th annual Sharon Summer Book Signing event July 31 through Aug. 2.

Aly Morrissey

SHARON – Facing threats of violence amid a public dispute with President Donald J. Trump, famed author and journalist E. Jean Carroll is no longer expected to attend a highly anticipated book-signing at The Hotchkiss Library of Sharon, though library officials said they have not received formal notice that she has canceled.

The meet and greet was originally scheduled for Aug. 1 as part of the library’s Sharon Summer Book Signing event – which will take place as planned – but Library Director Gretchen Hachmeister said July 2 that Carroll’s attendance is no longer expected. She said the writer is allegedly in an undisclosed location under police protection after receiving death threats related to a recent Supreme Court decision and the president’s subsequent posts on social media.

Keep ReadingShow less

HVRHS Announces Senior Awards

HVRHS Announces Senior Awards

Senior awards for the HVRHS Class of 2026 have been announced.

Nathan Miller

The Housatonic Valley Regional High School senior awards were announced for the Class of 2026. The graduation ceremony was held Friday, June 19. Student speakers acknowledged the importance of community, as several reflected on overcoming significant adversity in their young lives.

Norma Lake Award - Shanaya Duprey

Keep ReadingShow less

The nature of Upstate Art Weekend

The nature of Upstate Art Weekend
Opening of Upstate Art Weekend at Olana with Helen Toomer, Ellen Harvey, Jean Shin and Gabriela Salazar
D.H. Callahan

On Thursday, June 25, a collection of eager art enthusiasts gathered at Olana State Historic Estate in Hudson to kick off the seventh annual Upstate Art Weekend (UAW).

Helen Toomer, founder, was joined by sculptors Ellen Harvey, Jean Shin and Gabriela Salazar to discuss their work and the legacy of painter Frederic Church. Church, whose 200th birthday is being celebrated this year, is widely credited as one of the founding members of the Hudson River School of painting. The discussion took place at Olana, Church’s grand estate, where the three artists’ installations are on view.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.