Make up our minds

Coffee is good for us again. When I was a kid it was part of a complete (adult) breakfast, along with Danish. Then the “experts” decided coffee was bad for us, possibly carcinogenic. Now it is good for us, stimulating something or another, but especially the economy.The sun used to be a good thing. “Get out in the sun!” my mom used to say. Now they practically tell us to wear burkas. Better yet, don’t go outside. We could link our homes with places we need to go by tunnel, like the gopher in “Caddyshack,” while singing, “I’m all right.”Eggs. We can’t seem to make up our minds on this one. A good, inexpensive source of protein or an artery choker? Bacon used to be an old breakfast standby until they discovered nitrates. So they took the nitrates out and made some of it with turkey. Bacon grease used to be great for cooking other stuff. Now it is a hazardous waste.Oh yeah. Salt. Why are they still selling non-iodized salt? Without iodine you can get goiter, but salt raises your blood pressure and makes you retain water. We used to take salt tablets in hot weather. This was supposed to keep us from passing out. I seem to remember that there were a lot more strokes back then, too. Here is a possible disclaimer. If you are lost in the wild and don’t know what you can safely eat, let your dog be your guide. He knows instinctively what is safe and he will go for salt every time. And, when he is done eating his salt you can follow him back home. Dogs are never lost. When they don’t come home, it is by choice. You might want to put out the good dog food tonight, and don’t forget the salt.Chocolate used to be part of a pilot’s emergency survival gear. He could eat it or trade it for other stuff as the enemy never seems to have enough of this. Now they tell us on the one hand that it has great antioxidants, whatever they are, but on the other, if you have any heart issues it can make your heart race. Since you only have a certain number of heart beats allocated, you want a slower rate, not faster. One disturbing thing about chocolate: It can kill your dog. That can’t be good.I am thinking of writing a murder mystery. The killer serves his victim eggs with bacon and a cup of coffee on the patio. There is salt on the table and cocoa for afters. Heh, heh, heh. Did I mention buttered white toast? Bill Abrams resides, and considers using his culinary know-ledge for evil, in Pine Plains.