Only adversity seems to unite us

During this typically joyous holiday season, my thoughts, prayers and condolences go out to the residents and children of Newtown. Thank you to the Gilbert School students who led a somber memorial at East End Park Tuesday evening. That gathering brought scores of people together for quiet reflection. Why does it seem that we are drawn together only when misfortune or tragedy befalls us? Yes, those moments remind us of our human frailty, but, hopefully, those moments, however heart-wrenching, are infrequent. Why don’t we have more happy moments?Oh, yeah, this is Winsted.Every week, if not nearly every day, I see not simply disagreement and difference, but actually anger and hatred in this community. The egos, the name-calling, the finger-pointing and the mud-slinging dominate pretty much everything. Someone has to be right, and anything voiced otherwise is stupid. Stunningly, we have become a remarkable reflection of relationships at the national level. No one wants to work together — political operatives hunker down in their caucuses and entrench themselves in their position. Policy is made with blunt force and strictly along party lines: no debate, no discussion, just heated rhetoric about “them” and “us.” The politicians act as if “other side” will never have a reasonable thought or idea, and they will never show “weakness” by even engaging “them.” Independent thinking? Not anymore. In Washington, the “us” is mainly concerned with self-interest, not “U.S.” interest. Is it different in Winsted?To me, this explosive divisiveness indicates a giant rip in the fabric of society. Our towns and technologies have made it easy to insulate ourselves. We work ourselves silly, leaving little time to interact with neighbors. When we go anywhere, our eyes and fingers are fused to our phones and tablets, binding us to someplace other than where we are. Our ears are clogged with buds that block the sound of life. We only care about ourselves, and don’t even think of bothering me.What if an event of the magnitude of the Newtown tragedy happened in Winsted? Is it going to take a building collapse, a fire, another flood to bring this community together? How would the world view Winsted then? Would we be described as a small stereotypical New England community? Would we put aside our differences when the harsh glare of international attention spotlights us?Listen, we have problems, and some of those problems are significant and challenging. The solution to those issues will require community efforts, but we have no community. If the only thing that will bring us together is a horrific event, we stand no chance.A recurrent lesson of mass casualty events is the precious fleeting wonderfulness of life. We repeatedly ignore that lesson, and that ignorance may be as dangerous as the bombs and guns that snatch life. Will we next gather again to commemorate or to celebrate?I don’t know about you, but I want to celebrate. I live and work in an attractive area of the most prosperous nation, constantly meet different people of incredibly varied backgrounds and have three beautiful daughters, a loving and supportive partner and a crazy cat. I enjoy every minute, and I want to share my joy and learn of yours. I want to help build a community.So, beginning next Tuesday, I invite you to visit East End Park from 6 to 6:30 p.m. Bring a plate of cookies, a box of chocolates, a bowl of fruit, a jug of hot chocolate or a pitcher of lemonade. Share. Talk with someone different. The only rule (which will be self-policed) is no political discussion. Ask each other about family, hobbies, vacations, favorite restaurants — tell someone else why your life is worth living.Yes, next Tuesday is Christmas, but, with gracious respect and reverence to all other religions, it is an appropriate day of joy. All I am proposing is simply 30 minutes of celebration. Let’s make it a weekly gathering every Tuesday (admittedly, I run the risk of missing the inaugural gathering since I will be returning from Michigan with my daughters, but I’ll do my best to get back by 6; if not, celebrate without me, but let’s begin the tradition nonetheless).Sadly, my expectations for building community with this celebration are low.It’s Winsted.Anyway, have a safe holiday season. I’ve commemorated enough.Dale Martin is the town manager of Winchester.