The garden is dead, long live the garden

Bowman’s Root in Page Dickey’s garden.
Dee Salomon

Bowman’s Root in Page Dickey’s garden.
It is indisputable that we are moving toward a new garden aesthetic. I would even go one step further to propose that gardening’s "man over nature" ethos — which has a classic exemplar in the formal gardens of Versailles — is now over. Nature reminds us, with greater frequency and intensity, that she is in control, and we are beginning to come to terms with the reality that it is a fool’s game to try to tame her.
As you think about your spring planting plans, slide into a new mindset. Let’s call it "human abetting nature." This mindset finds beauty less in rigorous planting schemes and more in the creation of habitats. The aesthetic associated with this new mindset is, thankfully, more forgiving — not so much the baggy dress to the tailored suit, but a looser beauty that can still be shaped or contained in ways we find pleasing.
As with many of our choices these days, mindfulness is the first step. Where are you planting?
And what are you planting there? When planting at the edge of the woods and in her fields, writer and garden designer Page Dickey will only plant natives. Here she has incorporated American hornbeam, Carpinus caroliniana, redbud, Cercis canadensis and gray dogwood, Cornus racemosa. In her book "Uprooted," Dickey writes about her experience moving from a home where she crafted and tended an intricate garden to her current home in Falls Village with acres of woodland, fields and fen. Instead of working to transform the land into something else, she now listens to the land and responds to nurture it.
This new mindset does not mean that aesthetics are less important than before; rather, the aesthetic has shifted. In Dickey’s garden beds that surround her house, she mixes non-natives with native perennials, such as her favorite Bowman’s Root, Gillenia trifoliata (The Cornwall Garden Club native plant sale will offer Bowman’s Root plants among other native perennials Saturday, May 25, in West Cornwall. cornwallgardenclub.org)
Among Dickey’s favorite native shrubs are Fothergilla, Clethra alnifolia, gray dogwood, Cornus racemosa, and the American cranberrybush viburnum, Viburnum trilobum. She also used Viburnum lentago, called nannyberry, in place of adding more lilac, that had originally tempted her, for a hedgerow along a rough track on her property. From "Uprooted": “Surely I could plant something with more to offer, a plant that would enrich our wild habitat.” I can attest to the beauty of this native tree which grows at the edges of our marsh. It can get as tall as 15 feet and has a wide spread if given the space and light. Flowers in spring, nutritious berries for birds in fall.
Deborah Munson is one of our area’s top horticulturalists and landscape designers, who happily admits that her approach to garden design changed over the past decade: “In an ecologically driven garden/landscape I love a wilder and much freer style where there is little to no delineation between the wild and cultivated landscape and incorporating natives as often as possible; a landscape that over time can find its own way, being nudged occasionally by the human hand, often planted to allow the plants to drive the design, allowing self-sowing and covering ground.” One of her favorite native plant combinations is “shadblow, Amelanchier arborea underplanted with our native foam flower, Tiarella cordifolia and miterwort, Michella diphylla is a favorite combo. Add some snowdrops and white daffodils if you’re not a ‘native only’ purist.”
Out with precision edging. Out with yards of trucked-in mulch covered beds: “We can often create our own mulch on site by composting leaves and other garden debris as well as using plants as a living mulch. One should be aware that trucking in products can often bring new diseases and pests.”
Key to our new mindset, Munson reminds us, is "learning about a plant’s behavior… i.e. invasives (don’t plant) or colonizers (be careful what you ask for.) Is it a generalist, a plant that will grow almost any condition or specialist; for example, a plant that will only grow in wetlands or only in well drained acidic conditions?”
Many of Dickey's and Munson’s favorite native plants — from Redbud to Shadblow to Clethra, Sweet Fern, Viburnum Lentago and Anenome Canadensis — will be available from the Northwest Conservation District annual plant sale. You can preorder at nwcd.org and attend April 19-21 at Goshen fairground.
More on spring plant selection in next month’s column. If you have any questions regarding spring planting, please send them to dee@theungardener.com
Dee Salomon “ungardens” in Litchfield County.
SHARON — Austin Howard Barney — known simply as “Barney” to many, of Sharon, age 87, died on Dec. 23, after his heroic battle with the black breath, hanahaki disease, cooties, simian flu and feline leukemia finally came to an end.
Austin was born on July 26, 1938, son of Sylvester and Iva Barney.
He leaves behind an overwhelming amount of junk—sorry, treasures. If you’ve ever dreamed of owning a console TV roughly the size of a Buick, a soot-encrusted coffee pot that hasn’t been properly cleaned since the Reagan administration or creatively bent hangers that he had hanging in his living room windows to dry clothes on, give us a call. Please wait for the appropriate, respectful amount of time. Tomorrow should be fine.
Austin was frugal to the extreme; some may have called him “cheap,” but he preferred to think of himself as a pioneer in recycling—decades before it was cool. His kitchen was home to a vast collection of cool whip and country crock containers. The biggest challenge was finding actual cool whip or butter in his refrigerator with all the containers of leftovers that looked the same. “Open at your own risk” was our motto.
He leaves behind a wonderfully dysfunctional family—a group he tolerated, loved and occasionally avoided.
Austin was world-renowned for his lack of patience, grossly excessive extreme sarcasm, not holding back his opinion and knack for telling you exactly how wrong you were. One of his favorite quotes was, “I was only wrong once in my life. I thought I made a mistake.”
He always preferred his own cooking to anyone else’s—and to be fair, it was actually pretty good.
Austin served proudly with the 6th Marines in the United States Marine Corps from Feb. 10, 1958, through Feb. 9, 1962. Semper Fi!
He was also a volunteer fireman for several years, until he realized that sprinting in the opposite direction from fire was more aligned with his personal survival goals.
A natural mountain man, he ate things from the swamp that most people avoid and cooked on a wood stove for many years. He was an avid bird watcher and found joy in feeding all the animals that frequented his property.
He was predeceased by his brothers, Sylvester Barney, Louis Barney and his sister Shirley MacDougall.
He is survived by his daughters Darlene Hardzog, Margaret Gdovin (Mike); his son, Austin Barney Jr. (Kate); his grandchildren, Savannah Hardzog, Jordan Gdovin, Violet Barney, Amethyst Barney and Austin Barney III; and his sister Anita Baird along with various other relatives. You know who you are. He will be greatly missed.
There will be no viewing, as his children refused to comply with his request to be taxidermied and propped in the corner with a beer or a glass of scotch in his hand so guests could admire him in his natural state.
Services are pending and details will be shared at a later date.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Red Cross in his memory.
Austin Barney has approved this message. Approval notwithstanding, it would have read the same.
FALLS VILLAGE — Francis J. “Bosco” Schell of Falls Village passed away peacefully on Dec. 20, at East Mountain House in Lakeville surrounded by members of his family.
Born in Kosice, Slovakia, in 1934 to a family of landowners in their ancestral home, he came to the United States in 1947 following the wreckage of the Second World War.
He gained full scholarships to the Montclair Academy in New Jersey and to Williams College in Massachusetts before serving in the US Army in Germany.
Soon after his return to New York City he began work at the Reader’s Digest where he would stay for his entire professional career, starting in Paris at the International Edition, and returning to the US to create Families, and then on to leading the non-US editions of the magazine, the International and global Condensed Books.
He married Natalia Gortchacow in 1962, who predeceased him in 1992, and Page Dickey in 2000. He was devoted to his family and children, and to the huge cohort of friends he kept, who shared his relentless joie de vivre, his love of gardens, music, parties, dancing and drama.
Bosco was deeply involved in charity work, becoming by family tradition a member of the Catholic Sovereign Order of Malta, where he reached the rank of Knight Grand Cross of Honor and Devotion. He worked tirelessly to channel funds and medical equipment to his beloved Hungarians writhing under the Soviet yoke and then in aid of their successful quest for economic and political freedom. He headed the Hungarian Association of the Knights of Malta in Exile which led to the re-creation of the Hungarian Delegation in Hungary.
In his later years, he chaired the board of the David M. Hunt Library in Falls Village where he could be found raising funds by selling cuttings from his own greenhouse along with his legendary home-made jam.
Bosco’s two lifelong passions were gardening and music. Always an enthusiastic dabbler, retirement enabled him to attend the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens where he earned his degree in horticulture in 1997 before settling down with Page in her published garden at Duck Hill in North Salem, NY. They eventually moved to Falls Village in 2015 where they established Church House and its garden. He took great pride in its opening to the public and last gave a virtual tour of his greenhouse in 2021 to benefit charity.
He is remembered by his loving wife Page, his two children Peter Schell and Marie-Elizabeth Offierski and their spouses Blandine and Stefan, his four step-children Keith Dickey, Kim Dickey Ambrose, Scott Dickey and Jean Dickey Quaintance and their spouses Ally, Kirk, Ilia and Don, by his eight grandchildren Irène, Valentine, Anastasia, Paul, Frederic, Conrad, Gregor, and Olga and his six step-grand-children Claire, Helen, Freddy, Charlie, Alex and Keala.
A funeral mass was held at 11:00 a.m. on Jan. 5, 2026, at St. Martin of Tours Church of St. Mary in Lakeville. Burial followed at Sleep Hollow Cemetery in Tarrytown, New York.
CORNWALL — A good man has passed. Gerald “Jerry” Blakey, 89, of Cornwall, passed on Dec. 20, 2025.
He was predeceased by his parents Ernestine L. Blakey and Burt Blakey of West Cornwall, his brother Tom Blakey of Falls Village, and his daughter Karen B. Fisher of Cornwall.
He leaves his wife of 70 years, Patricia “Pat” Blakey of Cornwall, his son David M. Blakey of Cornwall Bridge, his daughter Lori B. Welles and her husband David Welles of West Cornwall, his granddaughter Melissa B. Root of Terryville, great granddaughter Devyn Root of Terryville, and his niece Pam B. Hart and her husband Doug of Belencia, California, andbrother James Blakey of Florida.
Jerry graduated from HVRHS in 1954. He started dating Patricia “Pat” Blakey in high school, and they were married on Sept. 3, 1955.
Their first challenge as newlyweds was hearing their new furniture had washed away in the flood of 55!
After high school, Jerry began working at Housatonic Valley Rug Shop in Cornwall Bridge.
In 1979 he bought HVRS with his partner Ed Kenniston. He retired in 2006.
Early on in his adult life he began getting involved in all things Cornwall. A member of the UCC in Cornwall, he served on numerous boards and committees there. Always ready to fix or fabricate, clean or repair whatever was needed. He served on the town’s P&Z committee, building committees and more, he was elected tax collector. He was proud to serve in the Cornwall Fire Dept. Where there was a need, he found solutions.
Pat and Jerry volunteered at the Soup Kitchen in Torrington and slept in the shelter for Operation Overflow, also in Torrington. Together they started the medical equipment loan program out of the UCC. Volunteering 100s of hours and traveling 100s of miles delivering and picking up medical equipment for those in need.
Jerry and Pat opened their garage after the tornado of ‘89 and started the Blakey Family Restaurant to feed the town’s people and volunteers as the clean up continued. Jerry organized blood drives, built houses in Mexico through the La Casa Project, hosted tornado anniversary parties and so much more.
Jerry amassed numerous awards, citations and recognitions for all he did. Each was carefully put away, not to be displayed, because it never was about those. As one friend said, Jerry didn’t know he did extraordinary things, it’s just what you’re supposed to do. He was talented, humble and generous. He loved the community and the people and always was there to help. He was a family man, caring for them up to the end.
Among the many awards he was particularly proud of his Public Service award from the State of Connecticut in 2001, The Connecticut Conference, UCC Living Waters Award in 2015 and an honoree with Pat on The HVRHS Alumni Wall of Honors 2023.
Anyone who ever met Jerry would know that he was a man of many words and always a man of his word, he will be missed.
The family would like to thank his Smilow Cancer Hospital team in Torrington, Connecticut.
Services will be held on Jan. 10, 2026, at 1 p.m. at the UCC, Bolton Hill Road, in Cornwall.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Cornwall Volunteer Fire Dept. and EMS, American Cancer Society, or the UCC Cornwall capital improvement fund.
The Kenny Funeral Home has care of arrangements.
SHARON — Joan Marie Wilbur, 83, a seventy-two year resident of Sharon, died peacefully on Monday evening, Dec. 22, 2025, at Sharon Hospital in Sharon. Mrs. Wilbur had a forty-year career as a licensed practical nurse in Sharon, she began at Sharon Hospital and subsequently worked for Dr. Brewer, Dr. Gott, Sharon Pediatrics, Dr. Rashkoff and ultimately finished her career caring for patients at Sharon Health Care Center.
Born Jan. 2, 1942, in Colchester, Vermont, she was the daughter of the late Jerome and Catherine (Casey) Bushey. On Sept. 14, 1963, in Lakeville, Connecticutshe married the love of her life, Edward Howard Wilbur, and their loving marriage spanned for over six decades. Mr. Wilbur survives at home in Sharon. Mrs. Wilbur enjoyed playing golf, bowling, dancing, horses and caring for their beloved pets. She especially enjoyed spending time with her children and grandchildren, great grandchildren and friends. She will be dearly missed by all.
In addition to her husband, Ed, Joan is survived by two children, Mark Wilbur of Deer Park, Texas and Michele Pastre and her husband Scott of Sharon; three grandchildren, Benjamin Wilbur and his wife Janie of Deer Park, Texas, Colby Pastre and his wife Caroline of Washington, D.C. and Brittney Pastre and her husband Greg of Barrington, New Hampshire; three great grandchildren, Ila Rae Wilbur of Deer Park, Texas and Isabella and Ivy Godfrey of Barrington, New Hampshire; her brother, Jerry Bushey of North Canaan, and her sister, Mary Kruse and her husband Bob of Florida, and two nephews, Chris Goddard of Florida and Paul Goddard of Massachusetts.
There will be no public funeral service. Interment in the family niche at Hillside Cemetery in Sharon, will take place privately in the spring of 2026. Arrangements have been entrusted to the Scott D. Conklin Funeral Home, 37 Park Avenue, Millerton, NY 12546. Memorial contributions may be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, 501 St. Jude Place, Memphis, TN 38105. To send an online condolence to the family, flowers to the family or to plant a tree in Joan’s memory, please visit www.conklinfuneralhome.com