Who will he be? Papal thoughts

Little known is that you don’t have to be a priest to be the Pope.I have 18 years of Catholic education, six with the Jesuits, so why don’t I throw a red hat in the ring? I can wear a red sash, no, too Trumpian, with the best of them.And the red velvet shoes that the previous pope, Benedict XVI, wore, probably still wears, maybe not so much.

Years back, sitting in the lobby of the Palmer House hotel in Chicago with two pals, imbibing per usual,suddenly the noise shuts up.And in strolls the Cardinal, Francis George, with an entourage of young priests flanking him on all sides.Even those of us who thought he was an oppressive repressive yahoo were stopped in silence and awe. We were, somehow, in the presence of royalty.And quickly smoothly this presence became absence.

In 2024, Pope Francis accepted the resignation of Cardinal Blaise Cupich who succeeded George.Cupich had hit 75 and was required to submit his resignation.The Pope is not required to accept it, which he did not.Blaise, a pretty cool dude.Uncomfortable in the Cardinal’s traditional mansion, right down the street from the original Playboy club, the ghost of Hefner striding the Gold Coast of Chicago’s wealthy self,Blaise did not live in the papal mansion as did George and his predecessors, but rather in an apartment, 945 square feet, in Holy Name Cathedral near Chicago’s Loop.

Before being named Cardinal, Archbishop Cupich, in a first official act, visited three churches — one Black, one Latino and oneCentral European. Cupich was born into a Croatian family of nine and speaks six languages.

So who will Blaise vote for? His saint’s name is after the patron of throat health.(My pal Patrick Lynch of Sharon had throat cancer earlier in his life and succumbed recently to various complications.)

Will he vote for one of two African Cardinals, one a rabid homophobe or the other, Cardinal Antoine Kamabanda, who is Rwandan. The latter lost most of his family to the genocide of the Hutus by the Tutsis. (The Tutsis are tall, the Hutus are short, so of course the Hutus had to be exterminated.)

Or the Filipino, Luis Antonio Tagle, known as the Asian Francis.Luis has Spanish names, as do many Filipinos.

A close friend, steeped in Jesuiticisms, said —What did Francis, a Jesuit, do? Nothing for women, never explicitly promoting LGBTQ rights (“Who am I to say?” when asked about gay priests, a quote quoted roundly round the globe.)

I, falling on the thorns of bleeding platitudes, responded, Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And Francis, by any account, was a good man.

I dare say we don’t want Our Dear Leader who is pictured dressed like the Pope.More to the point, his backside showing his corpulent handles swinging a golf club, his shirt hiked up revealing the tattoo with MS-13. That’s it! Send him to Cecot, the Venezuelan paradise, where Senor Garcia awaits, bolo in hand.

Not even Francis would wish that on him.

Eager to see the white smoke and hear Habemus Papam!

Lonnie Carter is a playwright, Obie winner and his signature play is “The Sovereign State of Boogedy Boogedy.”