Finding love by looking back

At what stage of life is it ideal to find true love? One could make the argument that it should happen at every stage, even if it is with the same person again and again. For some of us, though, love comes later than sooner, and can be all the more welcome because it waited to arrive.

Love found Libby Hall of Sharon (who is an advertising representative for The Lakeville Journal Co.) in the form of Chris Abeel, a New Jersey guy whom she knew in junior high but only reconnected with much later.

“I am indebted to Facebook,” Hall said in a recent interview. “Had it not been for Facebook, Chris and I would not have found each other again.” 

Hall and Abeel grew up and went to school together in Westfield, N.J., and when they were around 13 years old Abeel had an adolescent crush on her. Nothing came of it back then. They met again at their 20-year Westfield High School reunion, when they were both 38. While they were glad to see one another again, they had lives they were living — Hall in Manhattan and Abeel in New Jersey. Another 18 years passed before they connected once again on Facebook.

By then Abeel was a widower, and Hall had recently moved up to Sharon to live on a mountain and be near her father, Harry Hall. When the two made casual contact on Facebook, Hall mentioned that if Abeel was ever in the area he should stop by. As it happened, that May he was planning a visit to Saugerties, N.Y., and he made the trip over for a visit to Sharon. 

Hall says she was nervous. After all, she hadn’t seen him in 18 years. Would they get along? When he arrived, her first request was that he accompany her to the transfer station in her red pickup truck. What better way to show a newcomer the beautiful scenery, and the social scene, of the Northwest Corner than by a visit to the dump? Then it was off to a tag sale and a dinner at home. A typical country weekend became the palette for a new love. Abeel has been up to visit every weekend since that one several years ago. They fell in love, and are now in the process of planning their wedding. 

In case you didn’t do the math, the couple are both in their 60th year of life. Hall will be 60 in August, just before their marriage, and has never been married before.

“It’s been wonderful to go through the planning with my family and friends involved,” she said. “I have been able to try on wedding dresses with my sister, such fun. One friend is making invitations for us as a gift, which is so thoughtful and lovely. I feel as if 60 is the new 40, for me and Chris, anyway.” Love can do that.

Abeel gave some real thought to his proposal, as described by the bride-to-be’s father in “The stone wall,” below.

“We had been planning going to go out to dinner on a Friday night,” Hall said. “I just wasn’t feeling that well, though, so we had soup at home. Little did I know, Chris had been planning to propose in the restaurant that night.” But the next morning, while they were out watching some rock removal and the building of a new rock wall and terrace down the hill, he knelt down and asked her to marry him, offering a ring that was a resetting of his grandmother’s diamond. 

The wedding will be at the Interlaken Inn in Lakeville at the end of August, in a lakeside ceremony. Hall is taking a casual approach to her attendants’ attire. “Really, they have carte blanche. I’ve just asked they pick something in the same color range, that will create a balance, and that they can wear again. I’m still planning the flowers and other details. The most meaningful part will be having family and friends from all over the country coming here to celebrate with us.”

Hall pointed out that her generation was the first one that really had the option of marrying or not, according to their own paths. “It was perfectly acceptable for me to not marry and rather to have a career. But now, it’s also perfectly acceptable for us to marry at the age of 60.”

As far as thoughts on finding love for others to consider, Hall said, “Never discount young crushes. And, go to your school reunions!” 

The stone wall

By Harry Hall

Wanting to remove a large number of stone outcroppings that prevented using the ride-on lawnmower to cut the grass on the pasture in front of the house, I hired a contractor to remove them. He planned to use a small BobCat Excavator to dig a hole beside each rock and roll the rock into the hole and bury it. This didn’t work because there were so many rocks of various sizes that he dug up while making each hole. The soil in this area is the residue of melting glaciers thousands of years ago, called moraine. The entire area was soon covered with hundreds of rocks, some quite large.

In order to get rid of these rocks, I decided to have him build a stone wall connecting three very large boulders part way down the hill of the sloping pasture. If the wall could be made high enough, we’d create a large hollow behind it in which the other rocks could be buried. This plan worked well.

On a sunny Sunday while Sherman, the contractor, was building the wall between the boulders, his lovely girlfriend came by to see what he was doing, bringing along her 15-year-old son. I joined them admiring the wall from the downhill side. Sherman joined us and we congratulated him on his substantial accomplishment. And then Libby and Chris joined us, also full of admiration. 

Chris said he liked moving rocks and stones, too. He then abruptly fell to his knees, producing a small green jewelry box. Opening the green box, he exposed a large diamond that had belonged to his grandmother, flanked on each side by a ruby, all set in a gold engagement ring. His rocks were considerably smaller than the rocks Sherman had been moving, but were much prettier. 

He said: “Libby will you marry me?” Startled, she hesitated only a fraction of a second before she enthusiastically said yes. He stood up and they embraced. All of us were enchanted by the dramatic and poetic scene. Tears were streaming down my face. 

I think that stone wall will be a lasting monument to their love. They will always have the terrace the wall has created as a special place to return and celebrate the day they were engaged.

Harry Hall is Libby Hall’s father. He lives in Sharon.