Functioning without a schedule

Dolly Parton sang about “9 to 5” and I lived it; I find the sudden absence of a schedule a huge challenge.

I spent my entire work life on a Monday-through-Friday timetable — the alarm at 5:30 a.m., the bus at 6:30, the gym by 7, the office by 8:30, the market opening at 9:30. If any part of that routine failed — I forgot the alarm or the bus was late — it threw me; I was a stockbroker, laser-focused until the Market closed at 4:30 p.m.. I ate lunch at my desk — chicken salad on rye and a Diet Coke every day — and was always on the phone. I’d leave by 5 p.m., meet my husband — who also worked on Wall Street — for an early dinner, occasionally we’d order in, Chinese food or pizza, and then collapse in front of the TV, repeating the routine the next day. I had earlier careers, from TV news producer with a 4 a.m. wake-up to director of tourism for New York City under Mayor John Lindsay and working evenings. But I always had a schedule, so life felt under control.

My challenge now is how to structure my day. I wake up at 5 a.m. — a function of a restless puppy — and often stay in bed reading my phone in the same order every day: the weather, bank and brokerage accounts, social media — Instagram and Facebook, VERY recent for me — and newspapers: always the New York Post, which I remember fondly carrying a nickel in my pocket to buy; The New York Times, which I first learned to read, folded vertically, riding the subway; the Washington Post which initially came free with Prime; and the Wall Street Journal, which I subscribe to for the weekend edition.

By then it’s often 10 a.m. and I am racked with guilt that I have not really gotten out of bed, let alone done anything productive — though I’m never sure if that means saving the world or simply putting away the prior night’s dishes — and feeling badly that I have trained my dog to forgo breakfast until I get really hungry. I have learned to turn breakfast into an “activity,” making a fruit smoothie or a bowl of cold cereal with lots of diced fruit, mostly because I’m in no hurry.

The next several hours are tricky: I’ve replaced my morning gym visits with pilates two days a week and a trainer two others, and with driving, I fill several hours, including grocery shopping and UPS to return everything I order from Amazon that I have no intention of keeping — a subject for a later column, along with the aforementioned change in diet, and sleep habits, and exercise routine, and shopping habits. I make myself a late lunch — never having learned to cook, I fill my refrigerator with pre-made salads — and sit down to a proper meal, trying hard to just contemplate rather than constantly read.

Then I have more down time, guilt-ridden because there’s laundry plus closets to organize.

Instead I hang out with my puppy and read a crime novel until my partner arrives home . He has a schedule — he’s a jewelry designer and spends his days in the studio — and once he’s home, MY day finally has structure: we catch up and plan dinner — he cooks — while we watch TV. He’ll fall asleep first — he’s had a productive day, after all — and I’ll read until well past midnight, or work on my column.

I try to embrace this lack of structure — it’s what retirement should be and I’ve “earned” it after working since I was a teenager — but it feels wrong. There are Zoom meetings, or mentoring calls with young folks, visits with friends and family, and doctor appointments and emails, but it’s never enough, and as I become less able to do the work around the house, I feel even more like a slug.

I must learn to embrace this, cherish the opportunity to create my own schedule enjoy reading an entire book in one sitting, eat when I am hungry and play with my puppy, but it’s really difficult for me, as I imagine it is for many of you .

Please reach out to me with your thoughts or questions at GwenG@millertonnews.com

Gwen lives in Pine Plains with her partner, Dennis, her puppy, Charlie, and two Angus cows, who are also retired.

The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

To mow or not to mow?

To mow or not to mow?

A partially mowed meadow in early spring provides habitat for wildlife while helping to keep invasive plants in check.

Dee Salomon

Love it or hate it, there is no denying the several blankets of snow this winter were beautiful, especially as they visually muffled some of the damage they caused in the first place.There appears to be tree damage — some minor and some major — in many places, and now that we can move around, the pre-spring cleanup begins. Here, a heavy snow buildup on our sun porch roof crashed onto the shrubs below, snapping off branches and cleaving a boxwood in half, flattening it.

The other area that has been flattened by the snow is the meadow, now heading into its fourth year of post-lawn alterations. A short recap on its genesis: I simply stopped mowing a half-acre of lawn, planted some flowering plants, spread little bluestem seeds and, far less simply, obsessively pluck out invasive plants such as sheep sorrel and stilt grass. And while it’s not exactly enchanting, it is flourishing, so much so that I cannot bring myself to mow.

Keep ReadingShow less

Where the mat meets the market

Where the mat meets the market

Kathy Reisfeld

Elena Spellman

In a barn on Maple Avenue in Great Barrington, Kathy Reisfeld merges two unlikely worlds: wealth management and yoga, teaching clients and students alike how stability — financial and emotional — comes from practice.

Her life sits at an intersection many assume can’t exist: high finance and yoga. One world is often reduced to greed, the other to “woo-woo” stretching. Yet in conversation, she makes both feel grounded, less like opposites and more like two languages describing the same human need for stability.

Keep ReadingShow less
Capitol hosts first-ever staging of Civil War love story

Playwright Cinzi Lavin, left, poses with Kathleen Kelly, director of ‘A Goodnight Kiss.’

Jack Sheedy

Litchfield County playwright Cinzi Lavin’s “A Goodnight Kiss,” based on letters exchanged between a Civil War soldier and the woman who became his wife, premiered in 2025 to sold-out audiences in Goshen, where the couple once lived. Now the original cast, directed by Goshen resident Kathleen Kelly, will present the play beneath the gold dome of Connecticut’s Capitol in Hartford as part of the state’s America250 commemoration — marking what organizers believe may be the first such performance at the Capitol.

“I don’t believe any live performances of an actual play (at the Capitol) have happened,” said Elizabeth Conroy, administrative assistant at the Office of Legislative Management, who coordinates Capitol events.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

Hunt Library launches VideoWall for filmmakers

Yonah Sadeh, Falls Village filmmaker and curator of David M. Hunt Library’s new VideoWall.

Robin Roraback

The David M. Hunt Library in Falls Village, known for promoting local artists with its ArtWall, is debuting a new feature showcasing filmmakers. The VideoWall will premiere Saturday, March 28, at 6 p.m. with a screening of two short films by Brooklyn-based documentary filmmaker and animator Imogen Pranger.

The VideoWall is the idea of Falls Village filmmaker Yonah Sadeh, who also serves as curator. “I would love the VideoWall to become a place that showcases the work of local filmmakers, and I hope that other creatives in the area will submit their work to be shown,” he said.

Keep ReadingShow less

A bowl full of stars

A bowl full of stars

A bowl full of stones.

Cheryl Heller

There’s a bowl in my studio where pieces of the planet reside. I bring them home from travels, picking them up not for their beauty or distinction but for their provenance. I choose the ones that speak to me — the ones next to pyramids, along hiking trails, on city sidewalks or volcanic slopes.

I like how stones feel in my hand: weighty, grounding. I don’t mind them making my pockets and suitcase heavier. The bowl is about the size of an average carry-on. It has been years since it was light enough for me to lift.

Keep ReadingShow less
One-woman show brings Mumbet’s fight for freedom to Scoville Library
One-woman show brings Mumbet’s fight for freedom to Scoville Library
One-woman show brings Mumbet’s fight for freedom to Scoville Library

On March 29, writer, producer and director Tammy Denease will embody the life and story of Elizabeth Freeman, widely known as Mumbet, in two performances at the Scoville Library in Salisbury. Presented by Scoville Library and the Salisbury Association Historical Society, the performance is part of Salisbury READS, a community-wide engagement with literature and civic dialogue.

Mumbet was the first enslaved woman in Massachusetts to sue successfully for her freedom in 1781. Her victory helped lay the legal groundwork for the abolition of slavery in the state just two years later. In bringing Mumbet’s story to life, Denease does more than reenact history.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.