It's not an omen! Coping with wedding-day disasters

Weather

"Weather is always a major issue with outdoor weddings," warned Noreen Driscoll Breslauer of Sweet Haven Farm in Salisbury. She is an event planner and floral designer who grows her own blooms.

It's always a good idea to have an alternate location if you're planning an outdoor reception or ceremony. Most catering facilities can move tables from outdoors to indoors in as little as 15 minutes.

Of course, not everyone has enough space to accomodate 250 chairs and a wedding bower.

"One time I did a wedding with a family that had set up two large tents outside the house," Breslauer recalled. "The mother called me the morning of the wedding and said there was 6 inches of water in both tents. We ended up moving the whole thing to the Lakeville Town Grove. We had to get permits and everything but the whole thing was ready to go by 3 p.m."

Breslauer also advises getting tents with sides.

"Wind can cause havoc," she said. "When you have a tent without sides on a super windy day, it becomes like a wind tunnel."

The wedding meal

David Renner of The Marketplace in Great Barrington said that the biggest problems with catering usually relate to the menu items you don't give much thought to.

To help prepare for all foreseeable disasters, "We now have a complete checklist of everything we need for a wedding, and we have a Marketplace box full of essentials," Renner said.

Such as?

"All you have to do is forget the salt," Renner said ruefully. "They're spending all this money on their wedding and you show up without salt... Lemons, limes, they go on the list, too. We even bring shims, to make sure the tables are all steady. If the tables are outside on uneven ground, and Uncle George puts his big arms on a table..."

Other items that go in the box: A first aid kit, plastic gloves, wipes, garbage bags, plastic wrap, aluminum wrap, pepper, sugar (and various types of substitutes; heaven forbid there's Sweet 'N Low but no Splenda, or vice versa).

Out, damn'd spot!

"People are aware that some foods drip," Renner said. "We will sometimes recommend that the menu not include, say, borscht or something like that. But people are pretty careful."

Many restaurant kitchens keep spray bleach on hand; it's harsh, but it can take almost any stain out of white cloth in seconds.

Warning: Food isn't the only thing that causes stains.

"We had calla lilies for my daughter's wedding," Breslauer recalled. "We were just taking one last photo, and my daughter was holding the lilies. And this little black stain appeared on her dress, from the pollen. We used club soda and a hair dryer and it worked out just fine."

Photographer Brian Wilcox of Sharon remembers one wedding where a stain was avoided - but not easily.

"The bridesmaid dresses had been sent straight from Texas to the wedding and no one had tried them on yet," he said. "And one of the dresses still had its security dye pack attached to it. We discovered it an hour before the wedding, and of course there was no one around here that had the equipment to take it off. You can't cut it, or the dye pack will break open."

The pack was in the armpit of the dress. In the end, the bridesmaid tucked it inside and did her best.

"It's funny to think about it now," Wilcox said. "But it was not funny at the time."

Hair and makeup

"Brides always want everyone to get their makeup done at the same time, and drink champagne," said Colleen Kopec of Skintastic. "But I tell them it's best if it isn't a party. The bride needs to center herself, she needs to be alone so she can chill."

No matter what the weather, Kopec uses mineral makeups because they don't wipe off and because they're waterproof.

"And I use D20 hydration mist to set the makeup so it won't come off," she said. She also recommends keeping rice paper on hand. "It blots off the oil but doesn't disturb the makeup."

Like the other wedding professionals interviewed for this article, Kopec stressed the importance of planning.

"Six months ahead of time we do a trial run," she said. "We decide on all the colors and I do a drawing and make a list. After that, nothing changes. I don't want to be arguing with the bride on her wedding day about what shade of lipstick she should be wearing."

And once that shade is selected, how to keep it from fading?

"First, I don't recommend the longlasting lipsticks," Kopec said, "because they tend to be drying."

To help keep regular lipstick on for as long as possible, "I start by putting foundation on the lips, and blot. Then I apply the color with a brush, blot it, and apply another layer."

Once the color is in place, Kopec has the bride put her index finger in her mouth, purse her lips around the finger, and then pull it out.

"All the lipstick that would have gone on her teeth comes off on her finger."

Manicures and pedicures can be done a couple days before the wedding, but touchups can be taken care of on the wedding day.

"I always have an emergency kit with nail polish and a file, hair spray, bobby pins, touch-up makeup, extra lipstick and blotting paper."

Hair is usually done before makeup on the wedding day, and takes about an hour. The gown goes on last.

"I always remind my brides to wear a shirt with buttons, one that doesn't have to be pulled over her head," Kopec said.

Timing is everything

Who should be the timekeeper on the day of the wedding? Definitely not the bride and groom, advises Mike Fernino of Music in Motion in Seymour, Conn. Fernino has been doing weddings for more than two decades.

Most evening receptions last for five hours, he said. The first two-and-a-half hours are more or less under the eye of the caterer and photographer; the rest of the evening ought to be in the hands of the entertainment specialists.

But, as photographer Wilcox points out, a good entertainment director can make or break a wedding.

"A good DJ or band can save a party," Wilcox said. "They notice everything, they keep the mood right."

Fernino has seen it all in his years as a wedding professional - including four deaths.

"In one case it was the father of the bride, in another it was the grandmother. It's the stress, the exertion on the body. It's a long day, a heavy meal and then there's dancing. It can all add up to a heart attack. It's the most horrible thing that can happen. But you have to keep things going.

"First thing we do is clear the dance floor. All the guests want to stand around, but they have to get out of the way so the EMTs can get in. You have to make sure someone immediately calls 911 and then you have to be sure there's access to the person, not one second can be wasted. Meanwhile, you have to keep playing music, something light, like jazz."

The bride and groom, of course, cannot be spared from a tragedy of this magnitude.

"They're going to be devastated," Fernino said.

But with nearly any other problem, he advises that the newlyweds be allowed to enjoy themselves while someone else manages things.

To help ensure that all goes according to the wishes of the newlyweds, Fernino likes to work out the sequence of the party events ahead of time. Ideally, it's best if the photographer, caterer and entertainer all know the schedule.

Some couples like to do toasts before dinner, but David Renner of The Marketplace is adamant that the toasts should wait.

"If you're going to serve hot food, and you want it 'plated' [served on plates, not buffet style], the toasts can get very long, and meanwhile you're trying to keep the food warm," he said. "I can only keep a leg of lamb warm for so long before it gets overdone. I always tell our clients if they want to make a lot of toasts, let's do them toward the end of dinner."

Cake and champagne

"All kinds of things can happen when you have cake and champagne in large quantities," Fernino said. "One time, the bride's brother had been drinking heavily. When the bride and groom went up to cut the cake, they were joking around and in good spirits and they smooshed the cake into each others' faces. Then the bride's brother came over and picked up the entire cake. Everyone was laughing until he smashed the whole cake - which had a fish bowl with a fish in it on top - into his sister's face."

Many "unexpected" events can be averted, Fernino said, by asking the bartenders to cut someone off when they've had too much to drink. If someone is showing signs of too much high spirits, Fernino alerts the caterer and the fathers of the newlyweds.

Sometimes a word of warning and a few cups of coffee will do the trick. Sometimes the person has to be cut off or even sent home.

"It's tough love," Fernino said. "You have to do it. One time we had a guest at a wedding who was so drunk he climbed up on the chandelier and was swinging on it. That was a big heavy glass fixture and if it had fallen, it would have killed him."

Smile and take a breath

No matter what happens, all the wedding professionals agreed that the best way to ensure you have a good time is to stop worrying and just let it flow.

"As long as there are no injuries involved, you've got to laugh," Fernino said.

Like the time at a Jewish wedding when the groom was put in a chair during the hora and lifted up to the ceiling as his friends and family danced to "Hava Nagila."

"There was a low ceiling and the groom's head went right through the ceiling tiles," Fernino said. "But he wasn't hurt. Everything was fine. And now, when they look back, they laugh about it."