Living with uncertainty during the coronavirus

I would wager that uncertainty is the main cause of stress most of us are feeling during this corona virus pandemic.  We are uncertain how long we will be forced to live largely inside our own homes, conducting business and friendships on Zoom or Facetime, and seeing only family members face-to-face.  We are unsure of whether the precautions we are taking, from social isolation to hand-washing and wiping down surfaces, are what is actually called for. We have no way to know whether we’ll get sick, and, if we do, whether we’ll recover. And we hear different stories of what life will be like when we finally emerge on the other side of this odd and uncomfortable period. Will the world we step back into be recognizable?

Most of us do a lot to avoid uncertainty in “normal” life, from eating the same cereal every morning to regularly calling our mother or sister on Sundays. We look at our weekly calendars to find out what the next seven days will be like, and the appointments we’ve scheduled give us security and confidence that the week will bring what we expect. Which is why during this period all those crossed-out appointments and blank days give us a good deal of anxiety.

According to a Post-ABC poll, nearly 7 in 10 Americans say they are worried that they or someone in their immediate family might catch the disease. Over half say that they are at personal risk of getting sick, and 20 percent say they are at high risk. Clearly, the risk-factor is a critical focus of uncertainty during this pandemic. Bottom of Form

I’ve talked with several friends who are transforming their assumed risk into the strange comfort of certainty. One, citing statistics, says he is simply assuming he will contract the virus at some point before it subsides. (I hope he is working against his certainty by trying to prevent the virus through vigilance about the advised changes to our behavior, not helping his assumption along by being careless.) Another, advanced in age with COPD, has given his relatives a kind of advanced healthcare directive: he does not want to be taken to the hospital, where he is sure he will be denied a respirator, and instead wants to die in the comfort of his home. Perhaps my two friends’ images of the illness and death that lie in their futures go under the category of: if you plan for the worst, you can only be pleased by life’s surprises. But I think that the difficulty of experiencing uncertainty is also what drives them to create a “certain” scenario, however dire.

Obviously, the coronavirus has multiplied the uncertainties of our lives.  But the truth is, even in the best of times, the sense of safety that most of us hold onto is largely an illusion, especially when that safety is directed at those aspects of life that we care about remaining the same. Everything changes. Our bodies, which for a long time grew increasingly virile, begin to weaken. Our homes deteriorate, until we power wash and repaint, and the cycle starts over again. Our friends and loved ones change; if we can change with them, our relationships continue, even thrive; but if not, they end, sometimes painfully. Our gardens appear sickly one year, but the next year when they flourish, we sigh with relief, only to feel defeated when they appear scraggly the third year. Nothing stays the same.

The American Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön, writes beautifully about how we exhaust ourselves, spending our energy and wasting our lives, trying to re-create zones of safety, which keep falling apart. This is a good time to remember her words: “The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have.”

May we feel peace amidst the many uncertainties of this period.

 

Carol Ascher, who lives in Sharon, has published seven books of fiction and nonfiction, as well as many essays and stories.  She is trained as a spiritual director.

 

Editor’s note: The Lakeville Journal is providing content related to the coronavirus outbreak for free as a public service to our readers. Please support local journalism by subscribing to The Lakeville Journal, The Millerton News, or TriCornerNews.com or by becoming a contributor to our membership model. Click here for more information.

Related Articles Around the Web
The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

To mow or not to mow?

To mow or not to mow?

A partially mowed meadow in early spring provides habitat for wildlife while helping to keep invasive plants in check.

Dee Salomon

Love it or hate it, there is no denying the several blankets of snow this winter were beautiful, especially as they visually muffled some of the damage they caused in the first place.There appears to be tree damage — some minor and some major — in many places, and now that we can move around, the pre-spring cleanup begins. Here, a heavy snow buildup on our sun porch roof crashed onto the shrubs below, snapping off branches and cleaving a boxwood in half, flattening it.

The other area that has been flattened by the snow is the meadow, now heading into its fourth year of post-lawn alterations. A short recap on its genesis: I simply stopped mowing a half-acre of lawn, planted some flowering plants, spread little bluestem seeds and, far less simply, obsessively pluck out invasive plants such as sheep sorrel and stilt grass. And while it’s not exactly enchanting, it is flourishing, so much so that I cannot bring myself to mow.

Keep ReadingShow less

Where the mat meets the market

Where the mat meets the market

Kathy Reisfeld

Elena Spellman

In a barn on Maple Avenue in Great Barrington, Kathy Reisfeld merges two unlikely worlds: wealth management and yoga, teaching clients and students alike how stability — financial and emotional — comes from practice.

Her life sits at an intersection many assume can’t exist: high finance and yoga. One world is often reduced to greed, the other to “woo-woo” stretching. Yet in conversation, she makes both feel grounded, less like opposites and more like two languages describing the same human need for stability.

Keep ReadingShow less
Capitol hosts first-ever staging of Civil War love story

Playwright Cinzi Lavin, left, poses with Kathleen Kelly, director of ‘A Goodnight Kiss.’

Jack Sheedy

Litchfield County playwright Cinzi Lavin’s “A Goodnight Kiss,” based on letters exchanged between a Civil War soldier and the woman who became his wife, premiered in 2025 to sold-out audiences in Goshen, where the couple once lived. Now the original cast, directed by Goshen resident Kathleen Kelly, will present the play beneath the gold dome of Connecticut’s Capitol in Hartford as part of the state’s America250 commemoration — marking what organizers believe may be the first such performance at the Capitol.

“I don’t believe any live performances of an actual play (at the Capitol) have happened,” said Elizabeth Conroy, administrative assistant at the Office of Legislative Management, who coordinates Capitol events.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

Hunt Library launches VideoWall for filmmakers

Yonah Sadeh, Falls Village filmmaker and curator of David M. Hunt Library’s new VideoWall.

Robin Roraback

The David M. Hunt Library in Falls Village, known for promoting local artists with its ArtWall, is debuting a new feature showcasing filmmakers. The VideoWall will premiere Saturday, March 28, at 6 p.m. with a screening of two short films by Brooklyn-based documentary filmmaker and animator Imogen Pranger.

The VideoWall is the idea of Falls Village filmmaker Yonah Sadeh, who also serves as curator. “I would love the VideoWall to become a place that showcases the work of local filmmakers, and I hope that other creatives in the area will submit their work to be shown,” he said.

Keep ReadingShow less

A bowl full of stars

A bowl full of stars

A bowl full of stones.

Cheryl Heller

There’s a bowl in my studio where pieces of the planet reside. I bring them home from travels, picking them up not for their beauty or distinction but for their provenance. I choose the ones that speak to me — the ones next to pyramids, along hiking trails, on city sidewalks or volcanic slopes.

I like how stones feel in my hand: weighty, grounding. I don’t mind them making my pockets and suitcase heavier. The bowl is about the size of an average carry-on. It has been years since it was light enough for me to lift.

Keep ReadingShow less
One-woman show brings Mumbet’s fight for freedom to Scoville Library
One-woman show brings Mumbet’s fight for freedom to Scoville Library
One-woman show brings Mumbet’s fight for freedom to Scoville Library

On March 29, writer, producer and director Tammy Denease will embody the life and story of Elizabeth Freeman, widely known as Mumbet, in two performances at the Scoville Library in Salisbury. Presented by Scoville Library and the Salisbury Association Historical Society, the performance is part of Salisbury READS, a community-wide engagement with literature and civic dialogue.

Mumbet was the first enslaved woman in Massachusetts to sue successfully for her freedom in 1781. Her victory helped lay the legal groundwork for the abolition of slavery in the state just two years later. In bringing Mumbet’s story to life, Denease does more than reenact history.

Keep ReadingShow less
google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.

google preferred source

Want more of our stories on Google? Click here to make us a Preferred Source.