Outlining the bits and pieces of mopeds

The Millerton News has begun a multipart exploration of what it’s like to explore the landscape on a motorized two-wheel vehicle, such as a moped, motorbike or scooter. Technically, mopeds are vehicles with 49cc motors and achievable speeds of 20-30 mph. As motor size and achievable speed increase, state regulations (which are different in every state) classify the vehicle as a motorcycle or scooter. But for this series, written and illustrated by Sharon artist and writer Carl Chaiet, we’ll use the word moped most of the time. What is mopedding?Mopedding is the taking on of the world in the throes of a moped. It is the catalyst for entering and becoming a part of a moving landscape. Movement essentially defines life; the rock is not life, what hides below it is — although nine times out of 10 you wouldn’t want to move the rock to see what’s there. From our very first step we were applauded. Any first step was applauded. Descartes had it wrong: I move, therefore I am. (I told you we’d get to philosophy.) Movement is how we enter the world, and the different ways in which we move make life worth living. Who can forget the very first time we crawled, the first time we walked? Who could forget the Ministry of Silly Walks? Who could forget the very first time we skipped instead of running? (Of course the neighborhood bully always tries to forget).The first taste of self-propelled mechanized movement opened new environs. Whether it was a kick horse or firetruck, a big wheel or tricycle, we were moving in a way 99 percent of mankind never has. When the bicycle came our way and the training wheels were removed, the horizon became a part of our visual lexicon. Imagine the scene in the movie “Vertigo” when James Stewart looks down the bell tower. Every child who has stood on his bike sans training wheels looked at the horizon in the same way as Jimmy — except the horizon moved closer. This evolutionary tale of movement occurs every time you strap on your moped. It’s the accomplishment of your first step, it’s the whimsy of skipping, and it’s a new way of moving. But don’t tell the bully about that whimsy stuff.Procuring the mopedThis is the nuts and bolts of the diaries, for without them your ride would fall apart. Choosing a steed requires due diligence. Ask around; make sure the model you choose can be serviced easily. Most mopeds are not made in this country (Surprise! Surprise!). In fact they are made in almost every other country. As such the country of origin usually hints at the quality. (Think Yugo.) The cost of a moped can run as low as a few hundred for a used one to several thousand for a Gucci-inspired model. A “classic “moped, aka a money pit, can come complete with hard-to-find parts, a history of negligent care and a desire to stay at home on the most beautiful of days.The engine• The stroke Mopeds come in two strokes: two stroke and four stroke. Two stroke are more powerful yet emit more pollutants; four stroke, not so much. Although both are 50cc, the two stroke approaches maximum speed quicker and will maintain it longer up a hill. It’s one of the few instances in life in where size doesn’t matter; the stroke does.• The oil Engines require oil and fuel. Two-stroke engines integrate the oil with the fuel; the four-stroke segregates oil from the fuel — separate but equal. There are two ways in which to integrate the oil in a two-stroke engine: machine injected or manually injected. The manual tends to be a bit messy, so I recommend a moped that does it for you. The better the fuel, the better the ride. This may be a lot of malarkey but I always throw in a higher-rated fuel than what the manual calls for. It makes me feel extravagant and it’s only 1 gallon.Gas treatments are important to minimize the moped’s gasaholic symptoms. Hard starts in cold weather or bad gas will necessitate isopropyl dry gas and/or enzyme treatment and a few vitamins wouldn’t hurt.• The brakesBrakes come in disc and drum, usually in that order: disc in front, drum in rear. Some mopeds will have only disc while others only drum. As the automobile industry has shifted almost exclusively to disc they are preferable. Anchors on a rope would be a bad idea; without the rope, worse.• The fitMopeds come in a variety of sizes, both in length and seat height. Usually the length is relative to the seat height although there may be stretch mopeds out there. The seat height is the single most important decision you will make (other than the color). Stopping at a stop sign and hopping from one foot to another in order to balance the moped is uncool. You will ultimately develop a fetish for resting on one foot, the left for instance, which will make it problematic for making right turns. Making a quick stop will send you flying off the seat with the moped following too closely behind upon your behind. Choose your height wisely, as you did with your first bike (think crossbar) in order to save the family jewels.• The directionalsMost mopeds now come with directionals mounted on the handlebars. They are pretty straightforward. Left for left turns, right for right turns; the brakes turn on the brake lights. Those who didn’t take my advice and bought the classic must remember the old standbys from bicycling. Arm out for left, turn arm down for stop, arm up for right or was it arm up for stop, arm down for turn. It doesn’t really matter because the driver behind you doesn’t remember either.• The starter Mopeds can be started manually, or rather footfully … no, that’s not right. A moped can be started by kicking it … no that’s not right. There is a kick-start mechanism that will engage the engine on all mopeds. Ahhhhh. Purists — and anyone who has flooded the engine or drained the battery — use the kick-start. So does anyone who bought a classic. Electric start used to be an option, but then it became standard, making it a standard option. Moped batteries are tiny buggers that are asked to do a lot. Consequently they require loving attention; so invest in a battery charger.