Wile E. Coyote (super genius) of BP

What is it about the cleanup effort and the cap-the-oil-leak programs that remind us of a cartoon? Let me see ... the Acme Oil Exploration drilling platform company, supplied safety equipment by the Never Proved Wrong well cap manufacturers, were hired on by one Wile E. Coyote Petroleum enterprise – and we’re surprised it all went wrong? And then when it did all fail (to the tune of mother physics’ “Beep! Beep!� just before the explosion) Wile E. Coyote assured us all it was only temporary, a very small leak, the ocean is big, he could fix it, no problem ... tinker here, tinker there, Acme golf balls, old shoes, bits of metal shoved in the pipe ... never say die Wile E., you gotta admire the spunk ... Acme robots with cutters; oops, they got stuck, made the leak worse ... Acme crates show up, Wile E. proudly shows off the well caps ... a smaller one (fails of course) then the larger one (fails of course – doesn’t he see the Acme on the side?)

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And this cartoon just keeps getting better. The ship sucking up the oil, you know the one with the huge Acme vacuum cleaner, it seems to work, but “Beep! Beep!� lightning strikes and (okay, it doesn’t sink, but) there’s Wile E. holding a “Help!� flag as a fire breaks out.

Poor Wile E. He knows that Acme will need paying, and now there all these Mother Nature sympathizers and bullies, forcing him to pay for everything, the cleanup, the lost jobs, everything. “Beep! Beep!� heard in the Oval office really shocked Wile E. Coyote’s supporters; Joe B. Dingo from Congress even issued a formal apology to Wile E. Coyote. But you know, in this cartoon, that’s just a good setup. It looks like Wile E. will have an assist from solid Republicans ... nope, “Rats!� he exclaims as Joe B. Dingo slinks back into his hole.

 So, what’s a Coyote to do?

First take a cruise on a fancy sailing yacht. That sets up the farce for what’s next. Then get your cousin, the Swedish equivalent of a Coyote, but a bigger predator,  Sven D. Wolf, to turn up and remind the viewers just how out of touch with reality you both are. The Wolf proclaims he likes the “little people.â€� Well, yes, he does. A wolf will eat them when he can. Ah, but the cost of this cartoon? Well Wile E. and Sven D. have a plan ... start lawsuits to reclaim all the oil that the skimmers and pickup ships recover. Wait for it, wait for it ... “Beep! Beep!â€� heard from the Justice Department.

And there’s the biggest ending to all this yet to come. It’s hurricane season, the viewer knows it, Mother Nature knows it sure enough ... if this cartoon runs true to form, there’s a tornado going to be appearing on the horizon any time now. “Beep! Beep!�

“Rats!�

The writer, a former New York stater, now lives in New Mexico.