The Young Person’s Guide to Orchestrating Gifts, Part 2: The 20-something boy making a home

I know. You spent his childhood cleaning up the ice cream he spilled on your couch, the crayon pictures he drew on the wall. His teen years were worse: dirty school clothes left on the floor and hockey bags that smelled like death. 

You love him, but your son is disgusting. 

But now that he’s a young man with a full-time job, his own apartment, even a mature relationship, you might be surprised when he comes up for the holidays; you might find that your formerly hygienically challenged son is now a man with expertly styled hair, a curated sense of dress, an epicurean approach to his drinking and a strong desire to look great without seeming to be trying too hard. 

Smell that? It’s not hockey bag, it’s Tom Ford’s Tuscan Leather.

This holiday season, help make his apartment a home. Young men these days want to impress, but they’re also conscious of cost and appreciate quality items and a handmade approach. It might surprise you, but your son likes to entertain in his home, just like you do. 

1. Bud Light cans on the floor are a distant memory from his fraternity days. Adult life for young men is all about a return to a classic gentleman’s sense of style. An essential ingredient is the bar cart. He knows how to make his own Manhattan, cherries included. 

Shop for your son through the eyes of the date he’s inviting to dinner. What would make you smile in a man’s home? Set him up with a beautiful set of decanters from Joie Maison in Salisbury, or a glass ice bucket so he can have champagne cooling for a special night. 

Add to his cart with Hillrock rye whiskey from Ancram, N.Y., crafted by Dave Pickerell, previously the master distiller at Maker’s Mark. This enticing brown liquor comes in a weighty, eye-catching glass bottle made in Venice, Italy (available at Little Gates & Co. in Millerton).

2. Don’t feel like it has to be serious. He’ll love bits of whimsy and fun that bring color and personality to his pad. 

How about stopping at Passports in Salisbury for a set of tortoiseshell drinking glasses? Even just one in the bathroom might be a fun way for him to store odds and ends or his toothbrush. 

Also at Passports:  A corkscrew made from a reindeer tusk is a true two-pronged gift. It’s a conversation starter, and he gets to show off his bicep while he opens a bottle of Pinot the old-fashioned way. 

If he’s a hiker, a set of National Parks-themed coasters available at Terston in Kent will add character to his coffee table.

3. Make a visit to his bathroom a pleasant one. A robust Saddle Leather candle from Charlotte Taylor in Millerton comes in a dark, hand-blown vase and combines the musky scent of leather with cypress and amber. 

Musgo Real, available at Wish House in West Cornwall, was launched in the 1930s in Portugal and stays true to its history with soaps, shower gels and shaving cream in glass bottles and vintage-looking wrappings.

4. Young men are no longer feckless creatures of self-interest, even if they are always taking photos of everything they do. “Wokeness” is an intrinsically important moral value in his life, a word that originated in Black American online communities and that refers to an educated awareness of contemporary social issues and systems of oppression. 

He’ll love books that challenge his perceptions and help him exercise his sense of empathy. 

Try these two titles available at Oblong Books & Music in Millerton: “A Brief History of Seven Killings” might be this generation’s “Infinite Jest,” a mammoth, multi-voiced novel that moves from Jamaica in the 1970s to New York in the 1980s. It was written by Marlon James, the first Jamaican author to win the Man Booker Prize for Fiction.

“Americanah” by Nigerian-born Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is the politically charged love story of two idealistic young students and the global laws and conflicts that separate and reunite them as adults.

5. As modern and soigné as their new lives and digs are, young people respect and look for authenticity in each other. Visitors will appreciate hints about his life growing up in New England, and he’ll appreciate you gifting him with tasteful reminders of his preppy past, like hockey skate and ski slope-inspired pillows from Charlotte Taylor. 

Similarly, a picnic in Central Park with a Pendleton blanket from Terni’s in Mllerton will let his date know exactly where he came from. It’s good to have roots.

Look for part three of this series in next week’s newspaper.