A Lawyer’s View of the Absurdities of Tort Law

Bill Littauer interviewed Tom Morrison’s “Please Pass the Tort$,” the follow-up to “Torts ‘R’ Us,” on a Zoom meeting sponsored by Noble Horizons Wednesday, Jan. 13.

The two “Torts” novels are legal farces, following the adventures of Pap and Pup Peters, the brothers who decide to chuck their traditional law practices and dive headfirst into the zany and lucrative field of class action and patent lawsuits.

Littauer, a Salisbury, Conn., resident who had a 50-year career in journalism, led off by asking if finding humor in the practice of law isn’t oxymoronic.

Morrison replied: “Most lawyers take themselves way too seriously.”

He should know, having spent 50 years in the profession. An attorney who now lives in Salisbury, Morrison has quipped that everyone likes to make lawyer jokes, so the legal profession lends itself naturally to comic fiction.

He said he conceived of a farce about modern litigation — “especially class action lawsuits.”

Such actions rely on the notion that “every perceived slight in life” is a legitimate cause.

The result is a lot of frivolous lawsuits, he added.

Morrison said he tried to do to the legal profession what Joseph Heller did to the Army Air Corps in “Catch-22.”

Asked about where he finds his raw material, Morrison said he drew on news and legal reports, and from his experience.

The novel relates the tale of a lawsuit against the makers of blueberry Corny Flakes, in which the plaintiff opened 21 boxes of the product without finding a single berry.

“There are hundreds of cases where similar claims have been made,” said Morrison, adding there is an attorney on Long Island who specializes in such matters.

Such cases are frivolous, he continued, not because companies should be allowed to mislead consumers, but because “the consumer is going to get a coupon and a couple of bucks.”

The big money goes to the lawyers.

Morrison noted that certain jurisdictions, notably California, are fertile ground for class action lawsuits because they have broad consumer protection laws.

In “Please Pass the Tort$” the Peters Brothers, who work in New York but live in Connecticut, try to convince the state Legislature to pass a similar law so that the federal courts in Bridgeport, New Haven and Hartford get an increase in the volume of class action suits, and thus bring economic prosperity and tax revenue to those cities as legions of lawyers and their entourages pack hotels and restaurants.

Littauer asked about Morrison’s writing process.

“I wrote all my life,” responded Morrison, referring to his legal career.

“I wrote both books fairly quickly.”

The court dialog came easily. “I did it all my life.”

“Please Pass the Tort$” is available at Oblong Books in Millerton, N.Y., and at the Salisbury General Store on Main Street.

Latest News

Walter Earle DeMelle, Jr.

LAKEVILLE — Walter Earle DeMelle Jr., 82, of Lakeville, passed away peacefully surrounded by family on Feb. 1, 2026.

He met his loving wife of 57 years, Susan Sullivan DeMelle, in middle school and they were married in Aug. 1968.

Keep ReadingShow less
Raymond Emanuel Wheeler

AMENIA — Raymond Emanuel Wheeler, Jr., 72, a lifelong area resident died Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2026, at Sharon Hospital in Sharon, Connecticut. Ray worked for the Town of Amenia Highway Department for twenty-three years and for the New York State Department of Transportation in Wassaic, for ten years prior to his retirement in 2010. Ray also assisted in running the family business in Wassaic for over thirty years.

Born Nov. 6, 1953, in Sharon, he was the son of the late Raymond E. and Helen C. (Chase) Wheeler, Sr. He was educated in Amenia,schools and served his community for decades as a member of the Wassaic Fire Company and The Sharon Fire Department in Connecticut. He was an avid turkey and deer hunter throughout his life and he enjoyed socializing with his many friends and taking car rides throughout the valley regularly. Ray also enjoyed spending time with his family and watching the races at Lebanon Valley Speedway. He will be deeply missed by his loving family and many friends.

Keep ReadingShow less
Water main break disrupts downtown Sharon

Crews work on a broken water main on the town Green in Sharon on Sunday, Feb. 1.

Ruth Epstein

SHARON — A geyser erupted on the town Green Friday afternoon, Jan. 30, alerting officials to a water main break in the adjacent roadway. Repair crews remained on site through the weekend to fix the damaged line.

About 15 nearby homes lost water service Friday while crews made repairs. Water was restored by Sunday afternoon. The water system is overseen by the town’s Sewer and Water Commission.

Keep ReadingShow less
Hayes tours new affordable home in recent visit to Salisbury

John Harney, president of the Salisbury Housing Trust, presents Jocelyn Ayer, executive director of the Litchfield County Centers for Housing Opportunity, center, and U.S. Rep. Jahana Hayes, 5th District, with local maple syrup. Hayes was in Salisbury Thursday to tour one of the trust’s latest houses on Perry Street.

Ruth Epstein

SALISBURY — Congresswoman Jahana Hayes (D-5) admired the kitchen cabinets, the sunlight streaming through the large windows and an airy room well suited for flexible living space.

She toured the new affordable home at 17 Perry St. on Thursday, Jan. 29. The house, recently completed by the Salisbury Housing Trust, is awaiting a family to call it home. The modular home is one of four erected in Salisbury through the Litchfield County Center for Housing Opportunity’s Affordable Homeownership Program for scattered sites. Houses were also built in Norfolk, Cornwall and Washington.

Keep ReadingShow less