Addressing domestic violence in Connecticut

It is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while some readers may find two editorials on this topic to be too much, this is a critical issue for too many families who must struggle with violence day in and day out. Now is the time to consider the way it affects our neighbors, our families and ourselves.

What is the fine line between mildly dysfunctional or normal interaction, and abuse? There are parameters outlined on the website for Women’s Support Services (www.wssdv.org) in Sharon expressing the basic concept that domestic violence is rooted in a need to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological action or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. 

How are children affected by being in an abusive environment? According to a January 2015, report co-written by a group of representatives from  the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CCADV) and the state Office of the Child Advocate on improving outcomes for children exposed to family violence, 50 percent of households in Connecticut with domestic violence include children, most under the age of 5. And of the families in the state who are associated with child protective services, 75 percent have domestic violence in the home. The group was formed to analyze the ways to address effectively the needs of children who witness violence in their homes. 

In 2014, there were 11 domestic violence murders in Connecticut, and three were committed with children in the home. But children are also affected by ongoing physical and psychological aggression at home, and the recommendation of the group was to form a one-stop, trauma-informed center for children to find support and treatment to deal with the fears and dangers associated with domestic violence.

How is Connecticut doing in addressing this public health problem? The report states that stiffer criminal penalties for violence committed in the presence of a child would make a difference. Other states, such as Maryland, Illinois, Delaware, Arizona, Oregon and Georgia already have such laws on the books. The agencies also would want better cross-system collaboration, so families who are at risk do not fall through the cracks. It has been shown that children who are exposed to violence are at high risk for long-term and serious problems with physical and mental health, poor school and personal relationships and disruptive behavior. 

Children can also have feelings of guilt and shame over their part in any domestic violence, thinking they should have intervened or that it is somehow their fault that such incidents occur in their homes. The one-stop trauma center would be helpful to these children, however, only if there is an adult in their lives who will direct them there. In the Northwest Corner, there is the Housatonic Youth Service Bureau that can help in this way, and teachers and administrators at the schools. 

Can restraining orders make a difference? In Connecticut, permanent restraining orders last a year, temporary orders just a couple of weeks, and the person who is under restraint has two business days to turn in their firearms to law enforcement. The CCADV thinks this is too long; it can be the most dangerous time in a violent relationship. Respondents need time to access their weapons, but Karen Jarmoc, president and CEO at the CCADV, believes 24 hours would be a safer approach. “And notification of the order varies by law enforcement agency and geographic area,” she said in a recent interview. She also believes there should be a safety plan that is well-defined for even that 24-hour time frame.

The annual Candlelight Vigil to mourn those who have lost their lives to abuse, and to celebrate those who survive, will be at 6 p.m. on Oct. 13 at the Sharon Green, across from the Sharon Town Hall.