Civil discourse needed more than ever

Regrettably, heated and sometimes visceral debate during political campaigns is nothing new.

The animosity between Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton grew beyond Hamilton’s strong support for ratification of the Constitution and Jefferson’s vehement opposition. Each paid newspaper editors to attack the other. Personal politics was introduced to our new nation. Issues regarding morality, race and loyalty were injected during their substantive debate over ratification. History certainly repeats itself.

Today, both political parties and their candidates encourage personal attacks instead of engaging in a serious discussion of issues. Advances in communication technology, beyond newspapers, such as the internet, television and radio, make it easier to spread toxic incivility. The media reap the financial rewards from provocation and controversy.

The lack of civil discourse extends beyond politics. Heightened animosity is felt throughout society. It exists in such disparate areas as: children’s sports, local zoning, library content, and labor disputes to name just a few. More than ever we need to encourage civil discourse.

Among the goals of the Gov. M. Jodi Rell Center for Public Service at the University of Hartford, founded in 2011, is: “to foster environments where discussion – guided by courtesy, curiosity of thought and understanding, flourishes.”

The first steps seem obvious:

—Listen attentively and seek to understand someone else’s point of view.

—Assume positive intent. Assume others have an interest in the greater good.

—Consider how your behavior seems to others. While being passionate is a good thing, intimidation, shouting, threats and insults erode civility.

—Stay focused on the issues at hand. Avoid personalizing issues or using personal attacks when you disagree.

—Make room for respectful disagreement. Dissent is a democratic right.

—Share your perspective thoughtfully. Respect the time allotted to all members of the public and to meeting leaders.

While challenging a person’s position on an issue certainly is appropriate, questioning their motive personalizes the discussion and is generally counterproductive. Similarly, after stating your position on an issue, or a candidate, to then say that you don’t want to discuss it, indicates that you don’t want to listen to the other person.

Unless we are willing to listen, we never can get to the point where we are able to say: That is a good point, I hadn’t thought of that? Ultimately, we don’t need to agree; but we always need to listen. And we need to remember that we have an obligation to make clear to our supporters or surrogates that civil discourse is required. How can we uphold a higher standard if we either encourage or knowingly allow others to make the personal attacks on our behalf?

Elections, state and federal legislation, court decisions and local issues are often complex. Our discussion of those requires starting from a position of respect for others. Of course, that respect can be lost depending on what others say and do but encouraging civil discourse will go a long way toward bringing us together.

Civility is needed now more than ever.

Marshall Collins is a member of the Board of Advisors of the Gov. M. Jodi Rell Center for Public Service at the University of Hartford.

The views expressed here are not necessarily those of The Lakeville Journal and The Journal does not support or oppose candidates for public office.

Latest News

Rhys V. Bowen

LAKEVILLE — Rhys V. Bowen, 65, of Foxboro, Massachusetts, died unexpectedly in his sleep on Sept. 15, 2025. Rhys was born in Sharon, Connecticut, on April 9, 1960 to Anne H. Bowen and the late John G. Bowen. His brother, David, died in 1979.

Rhys grew up at The Hotchkiss School in Lakeville, where his father taught English. Attending Hotchkiss, Rhys excelled in academics and played soccer, basketball, and baseball. During these years, he also learned the challenges and joys of running, and continued to run at least 50 miles a week, until the day he died.

Keep ReadingShow less
Kelsey K. Horton

LAKEVILLE — Kelsey K. Horton, 43, a lifelong area resident, died peacefully on Saturday, Sept. 27, 2025, at Norwalk Hospital in Norwalk, Connecticut, following a courageous battle with cancer. Kelsey worked as a certified nursing assistant and administrative assistant at Noble Horizons in Salisbury, from 1999 until 2024, where she was a very respected and loved member of their nursing and administrative staff.

Born Oct. 4, 1981, in Sharon, she was the daughter of W. Craig Kellogg of Southern Pines, North Carolina, and JoAnne (Lukens) Tuncy and her husband Donald of Millerton, New York. Kelsey graduated with the class of 1999 from Webutuck High School in Amenia and from BOCES in 1999 with a certificate from the CNA program as well. She was a longtime member of the Lakeville United Methodist Church in Lakeville. On Oct. 11, 2003, in Poughkeepsie, New York, she married James Horton. Jimmy survives at home in Lakeville. Kelsey loved camping every summer at Waubeeka Family Campground in Copake, and she volunteered as a cheer coach for A.R.C. Cheerleading for many years. Kelsey also enjoyed hiking and gardening in her spare time and spending time with her loving family and many dear friends.

Keep ReadingShow less
Eliot Warren Brown

SHARON — On Sept. 27, Eliot Warren Brown was shot and killed at age 47 at his home in New Orleans, Louisiana, in a random act of violence by a young man in need of mental health services. Eliot was born and raised in Sharon, Connecticut, and attended Indian Mountain School and Concord Academy in Massachusetts. He graduated from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He and his wife Brooke moved to New Orleans to answer the call for help in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and fell in love with the city.

In addition to his wife Brooke, Eliot leaves behind his parents Malcolm and Louise Brown, his sisters Lucia (Thaddeus) and Carla (Ruairi), three nephews, and extended family and friends spread far and wide.

Keep ReadingShow less
Randall Osolin

SHARON — Randall “Randy” Osolin passed away on Sept. 25, 2025, at the age of 74. He was born on Feb. 6, 1951, in Sharon, Connecticut to the late Ramon (Sonny) and Barbara (Sandmeyer) Osolin.

He was a dedicated social worker, a natural athlete, a gentle friend of animals, an abiding parish verger, an inveterate reader, and an estimable friend and neighbor. He was a kind-hearted person whose greatest joy was in helping someone in need and sharing his time with his family and good friends.

Keep ReadingShow less