Schlock and Awful: winter edition

Schlock and Awful: winter edition

A scene from “Exterminators of the Year 3000”

Courtesy IMDB.COM

The Lakeville Journal’s Bad Cinema desk sincerely hopes everyone had something better to do last summer than sit inside and watch appallingly bad movies. Anything would do. Hiking. Antiquing. Going for coffee.

Even — and we realize this is strong stuff — writing poetry.

But now, winter is here. For those looking to while away the hours during the hibernation period, here are five more of the most spectacularly bad flicks currently available on streaming services such as Tubi, Freevee, and Sickee, not to mention Plex, Yecch and Blecch.

“Silent Madness” (1984): This ‘80s slasher was originally in 3D. Nobody cares but there it is. The best film ever shot in Nyack, New York, the cast includes some names regular people may have seen in normal movies. Loony bin in New Jersey lets psycho killer out by mistake, and psycho killer starts picking off sorority girls. Starts off nicely with death by vise grip, but then a whole lot of plot intervenes. Really bad mise-en-scene. As Jean-Luc Godard once said, “Le pfui.”

“Deliria” aka “Stage Fright” (1987): Italian slasher, in which the cast and crew of a play about a serial killer called the Night Owl are locked into the theater by the tyrannical director until they get the darn thing right. Well, the joke’s on Mr. Big Shot Director because local psycho Wallace is also in the theater, and he starts killing everybody. And he does this while dressed as a big owl. With plucky heroine and ambiguous ending.

“Truck Turner” (1974): Isaac Hayes is Truck Turner, bail bondsman and smooth lover, forced by circumstances beyond his control to clean up the streets and get his jailbird girlfriend a kitten. With gratuitous nekkidity and unironic fried chicken. The terrific soundtrack by Hayes adds a great deal, with toe-tapping, car-crashing numbers such as “Pursuit of the Pimpmobile,” “Hospital Shootout,” and “Drinking.”

“Exterminators of the Year 3000” (1983): Aka “Mildly Miffed Max,” this Road Warrior rip-off was made in Italy and Spain for about $11.87 (that’s $37.62 in today’s dollars). The big difference between this and the Mad Max films, besides talent, is in this one it’s water, not gasoline, that everybody’s after. There are a lot of cars crashing around and some weird dialogue that doesn’t make much sense and girls in leather pants which must have been really uncomfortable in the desert.

“Shrunken Heads” (1994): Here at The Lakeville Journal’s Bad Cinema desk, we like to save the worst for last. This flick, brought to you from the entire Elfman family, neatly and concisely explains why it’s never a good idea to get too close to your local voodoo practitioner. (A simple “Hello, how are you?” will suffice.) This incredibly strange film should have made “Eat Da Whizzo” a national catchphrase, but didn’t. With shrunken head sex, sort of, and righteous retribution against the bad guys. Highly recommended, especially if you’re in traction.

Latest News

Wake Robin public hearing closes

Aradev LLC’s plans to redevelop Wake Robin Inn include four 2,000-square-foot cabins, an event space, a sit-down restaurant and fast-casual counter, a spa, library, lounge, gym and seasonal pool. If approved, guest room numbers would increase from 38 to 57.

Provided

LAKEVILLE — The public hearing for the redevelopment of Wake Robin Inn is over. Salisbury Planning and Zoning Commission now has two months to make a decision.

The hearing closed on Tuesday, Sept. 9, after its seventh session.

Keep ReadingShow less
Celebrating diverse abilities at Stanton Home fundraiser

The Weavery is Stanton Home’s oldest activity space, featuring a collection of vintage and modern floor looms. It offers opportunities for building dexterity, creative expression, and social connection through fiber arts.

Provided

Stanton Home is holding its annual Harvest Roast fundraiser on Saturday, Sept. 13 in Great Barrington, an evening of farm-to-table dining, live swing music, and community connection.

For nearly 40 years, Stanton Home has supported adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities through residential programs, therapeutic services and skill-building activities.

Keep ReadingShow less
Sharon Playhouse presents staged reading of ‘Die Mommie Die!’
Charles Busch wrote and stars in ‘Die Mommie Die!’ at Sharon Playhouse.
Provided

Following the memorable benefit reading last season of Charles Busch’s Tony-nominated Broadway hit, “The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife,” the Sharon Playhouse will present a one-night-only staged reading of his riotous comic melodrama “Die Mommie Die!” on Friday, Sept. 12 at 7 p.m.

The production —a deliciously over-the-top homage to classic Hollywood mid-century thrillers — ­­continues the Playhouse’s artistic partnership with Busch, who reprises his iconic role of the glamorous yet troubled songstress Angela Arden.

Keep ReadingShow less