The Bad Cinema desk goes international

The Bad Cinema desk goes international

I’m confused! I look a little like Vincent Price, but I sound nothing like him! And why is that tree trying to eat my wife?

Provided

Gerardo De Leon and Eddie Romero, two major names in the Filipino film world, made four “Blood Island” films between them. The first was released in 1959 and is a modest but stylish black and white horror movie. The remaining three were made a decade-plus later, and are properly schlocky.

The whole shebang is now available in a slipcased set from Severin Films.

Terror is a Man (1959): Odd economy reworking of “The Island of Dr. Moreau.” Odd because it has a lot of weird plot that gets in the way of the story, and economy because there is only one man-animal hybrid, and because they shot it in black and white. Good production values throughout, which is also confusing when you’re expecting dreck. Decent monster and no nekkidity, because it was 1959.

The universe comes back into balance with the next film in the series, “Brides of Blood Island” (1968). Shot in color, very little plot to get in the way of the story, man-eating plants, day-for-night continuity problems, cut-rate Desi Arnaz, bargain basement Vincent Price, one bald henchman, mild bimbotation, a bit of gratuitous nekkidity, a sex-crazed beast, mutant transformation, a regrettable and lengthy dance of triumph scene, and nuclear radiation (which explains the art in the castle). I suspect Sam Raimi had this flick in the back of his mind for the first couple of “Evil Dead” movies.

The chlorophyll monster in Mad Doctor of Blood Island doesn’t stand up to close inspection, so the filmmakers wisely don’t let the audience get a good look.Provided

The Mad Doctor of Blood Island (1968): Well, here we are back at Blood Island. This time we’re looking for the cause of a strange disease that turns the natives green. Turns out it’s simple -- crazy Dr. Lorca shot a cancer patient up with a rare chlorophyll strain he found on the island. It’s just science. Gratuitous nekkidity, green blood, dismemberment, a sort of luau/orgy hybrid, and every time the monster is about to do something the camera zooms in and out rapidly, perhaps to prevent the audience from getting a good look at the lame monster costume. Spoiler: The beast hides out in a lifeboat as the gang sails away from Blood Island, the better to set up…

…Beast of Blood (1971), in which the monster kicks things off immediately by blowing up the boat, perhaps in protest of the producers’ decision to drop the word “island” from the title. Dr. Lorca’s got a whole army of green mutants now, and the islanders aren’t up to much in the resistance department, so it’s up to Bill Foster (John Ashley) and Myra the reporter (Celeste Yarnall) to get things sorted out. Which they do, eventually, but not before there’s some highly dubious surgery, a henchman who can only grunt, the usual nekkidity, an artificial head that talks. and plenty of extra fake-looking blood. Bonus points for the hero’s Modified Elvis haircut, a bold choice in 1971. This movie is an excellent example of the plot getting in the way of the story, but when a man sets out to watch all four Blood Island movies, he’s got to tough it all the way through.

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